Couchtime WIth Jill

Sharp & snarky TV recaps with Jill Mader. (@jillemader on Twitter)

The Bachelor – I’m Gonna Make This Place Your Home

bachelor Time for hometown visits! For Sean, this meant doing pushups in four different cities, each time with a different woman sitting on his back. (I saw him do it at least twice, I’m assuming it happened on every date.) This is the point in the “journey” when the bachelor or bachelorette has to try and eliminate someone without flat out saying “Your family is weird.” From previews, it looked like this season’s victim of a less-than-appealing family would be Des.

Let’s get to the recap!

ashlee Date #1 – AshLee in Houston, Texas

AshLee’s hometown date was sweet, but forgettable – kind of like her so far on this show. Her parents seemed nice, and told lovely stories of adopting her and sticking by her through difficult times. But the problem here is that AshLee seems way more smitten with Sean than he does with her. It’s too bad, since they’re both Texans, but I don’t see this lasting (even by Bachelor standards). This date was just too dull.

catherine Date #2 – Catherine in Seattle, Washington

It feels like Catherine kind of came out of nowhere. I didn’t even know her name, and then all of a sudden Sean was obsessed with her. But these two do seem to be a good match – they’re both smiley, fun-loving people. She’s 26 and Sean’s 29, they’re both professionals. Their conversation felt more relaxed and normal than his conversations with some of the other women. I liked how Catherine prepped him to impress his Filipino grandmother.

I kind of loved Catherine’s family. They’re all so pretty! All three of them! And they asked her real questions. They kind of threw her under the bus when they talked to Sean, telling him that she can’t commit long term and won’t be ready to have kids for a while.

This date really helped Catherine stand out. I think she’s my favorite now.

Screen Shot 2013-02-18 at 10.52.55 PM Date #3 – Lindsay in Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri

Oh, Lindsay. There’s something too sweet and naive about this girl that rubs me the wrong way. She seems sort of… simple. Like a tween cheerleader. I mean, they got cupcakes on their date! OK fine. I love cupcakes. But like, everyone thinks I’m a tween, too.

I keep forgetting that Lindsay is the crazy wedding dress girl. They declined to tell her parents how she was also embarrassingly drunk on the first night. This family date went fine, I just don’t think Lindsay is on the same level as Sean.

Screen Shot 2013-02-18 at 10.51.48 PM Date #4 – Desiree in Los Angeles, California

After spending the day together in L.A., Des’s “boyfriend” showed up at the door to declare his love for her. I was thinking the whole time,”This was way too forced to be real. He sounded like a bad actor reading lines”, and “Pathetic, this is totally just something the producers concocted.” But, in fact, it was a prank Des pulled off  to get back at Sean. Stupid, but better than the alternative.

Then Des’s family showed up and the real drama started. Des’s parents were easygoing, but her brother Nate felt pretty strongly that a relationship from The Bachelor wouldn’t work out for Des. I mean, can you blame him?

Nate called Sean a playboy, and said he was having fun with the circumstances. Sean said that’s not him, but he knew Nate wasn’t buying it. Things were tense. Again, I don’t really blame Nate. Given the track record of these shows, it’s normal to be skeptical. But he didn’t have to be rude, which he was. Things were painfully awkward for the rest of the night. Des was upset when Sean left.

Rose Ceremony

Going into the rose ceremony, Sean said he could picture his life with AshLee or Lindsay, but was unsure about Catherine and Des. Really? That’s like, the opposite of who I like on the show. AshLee and Lindsay are so blah. Catherine and Des are fun and have personality.

Right before Sean handed out the first rose, Des pulled him aside to tearfully apologize for her brother’s behavior. Given that he told her it was OK and opted not to privately send her home then, I figured he’d keep Des around and send Catherine home. But no, he sent poor Des home. It’s the dramatic family curse! If your family is doubtful or practices taxidermy, you get sent packing.

AshLee and Lindsay obviously got the first two roses, and then Sean dramatically left the room to go stare at photos of Des and Catherine rather than the women themselves. But after a lot of humming and hawing, he sent Des home.

You have to feel a little bad for the girl, since it at least seemed like the elimination was all because of her jerk brother. She seemed very sweet and likable – perhaps a contender for the next bachelorette?

The Bachelor – I’m Gonna Make This Place Your Home ...

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The Amazing Race – Here We Go Again

tar start The Amazing Race is a show that I continue to watch, but don’t love as much as I once did. (By comparison, I still get excited about a new season of Survivor.)

I barely looked at the teams before the show began, but based on their intro packages I like the roller derby moms, the cancer fighting father/son and the dating surfers.

To Bora Bora

tar parachute

The first flight from L.A. to Bora Bora took five teams, with the rest on a second flight. The newlyweds Max and Katie, who were on the second flight, made me laugh. They seemingly can’t stand anyone, but did a good job of fooling the YouTube “stars” into thinking that they’re nice people. I can get down with the eye rolling. They might be awful, but I might like them anyway. (I won’t – I just read in their bios that Max is a Republican who relates to Rush Limbaugh. Gross.)

Meanwhile, the teams on the first flight made a Flight Club-esque secret alliance. This is a little more important since there are two Express Passes (one must be given to another team), but TAR alliances make me yawn.

The first challenge in Bora Bora was super exciting. One person from each team had to parachute out of a helicopter. The view over Bora Bora was INSANE. Gorgeous.

Sandcastles in the Sand

(That subtitle is a HIMYM reference, btw.) As the second group of teams arrived to do the helicopter jump, the first pack hit the Roadblock, which saw one team member search through sandcastles for a clue. Every time they knocked one down that was empty, they had to rebuild it – that way, new teams wouldn’t know which ones definitely didn’t have clues.

It’s pretty clear that the most annoying team this season will be the YouTube stars. Have you guys ever seen Saturday Night Live to “J-Pop American Funtime Now”? I think it might be based on these guys.

tar couple

Jessica and John

Once a team found the clue, they had to canoe to the pit stop.

Jessica and John – the cute, dating surfers – came first. I’m glad they got the two Express Passes. They’re an early favorite for me – they seem nice, but competitive, and they’re physically fit enough to make it to the end.


tar canoe

Pam and Winnie

The hockey player bros came in second – I can see them being a final three team. The father/son team came in third, which was nice to see. Pam and Winnie came fourth, and Mona and Beth (the roller derby moms) came fifth – a nice finish considering they’d done the skydiving last. Yay, all-girl teams! These two seem like some strong ones. Team YouTube placed sixth, Chuck (mullet guy) and Wynona placed seventh, and the brother docs placed eighth.

tar katie


The last teams left searching through sandcastles were the Republican and his pretty blond wife, the pretty blond country singers, and the firefighters. Katie proposed the idea that all three teams ditch the Roadblock and take the penalty – they’d start the next challenge on an even playing field and whoever was slowest would be out. So they all agreed to take a four hour penalty, and set out for an incredibly high-pressure canoe ride.

The firefighters capsized and fell into last place. Max and Katie were right – they did finish quickest, but the country singers were right there behind them. I felt like we’d barely seen Matt and Daniel throughout the episode, so I had no feelings about them getting eliminated.

All in all, I thought this was a solid premiere. There’s some big personalities, and as long as the challenges and locations are exciting this could be a great season. What did you guys think?

The Amazing Race – Here We Go Again ...

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Girls – Puppy Love

Girls – Puppy Love

Lost Boys

We’re more than halfway through season two of Girls, and I think it’s been an outstanding season. It helps that the season has been pretty light on Jessa (one of my least favorite characters, while more heavily featuring Ray, a guy I’ve always liked. Yes, the show is called “Girls”, but this is not Sex and the City. The show is all about Hannah, and the people in her life. In fact, this episode was titled “Boys”.

Marnie has had a rough season, and seeing how awkward and strained things have gotten between her and Hannah was a little heartbreaking. I think most people have been there – sometimes things just don’t feel right between two people, even if they’re best friends. Hannah was excited about her e-book deal, and however ridiculous it might be, she had a right to be happy. (I *loved* the moment when she threw up outside the cafe.) Hannah also couldn’t (or wouldn’t) tell Marnie that she really had no idea how to start writing a book, and was struggling. Marnie is too wrapped up in her own misery to care, and can’t even bring herself to tell Hannah how bad things are going for her. You could feel the heartbreak coming – artist boy is not her boyfriend, and he pointed out some pretty serious flaws in Marnie’s attitude about him – but that didn’t make it any less tragic.

Meanwhile, we got to see Ray and Adam spend some time together, and the results were bizarrely magical. Ray clearly doesn’t think much of Hannah. He acknowledges the enjoyable parts of her personality – she’s smart, funny, engaging, etc. – but he’s also seen what a mess she can be. He hadn’t really seen that yet from Adam, and you could tell he was trying to figure out why Adam was so obsessed with Hannah. Eventually, he saw how Adam is five times as messed up as Hannah.

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Funny Friday – A Sitcom Roundup

funny friday This week:

  • How I Met Your Mother
  • Cougar Town
  • Modern Family
  • The Big Bang Theory
  • Community
  • Parks and Recreation
  • The Office

How I Met Your Mother – “Bad Crazy”
After a string of better than usual episodes, this HIMYM installment fell pretty flat for me. Ted’s storyline just wasn’t as funny as last week’s, and I found it hard to believe that Marshall and Barney wouldn’t try harder to protect him from his crazy ex-girlfriend. I did love Robin’s storyline though, and I managed to watch the episode on DVR without having the Mike Tyson surprise spoiled on Twitter.
Best moment: Ted explaining that “Some intelligent, forward-thinking New Yorkers took Superstorm Sandy as a wake-up call.”

Cougar Town – “Restless”
This week’s Cougar Town was not my favorite. I loved “Things Ellie would never say”, but I didn’t love the sex coupon thing. Ellie and Andy’s dynamic has never been my favorite, and although it came back around, playing that up by having Andy essentially manipulate Ellie into having a bunch of sex she didn’t want didn’t do much for me. I also loved Bobby’s “Jules Rules”, but there wasn’t much else I liked there – Grayson having sex with Jules when she was coked out on sleeping pills was, well, awkward.
Best moment:
Can you invent new smells??? I need to know!

Modern Family – “Heart Broken”
Modern Family is one of the few sitcoms that does Valentine’s Day well. I love how it always shows the best sides of Phil and Claire, and this year’s episode especially did. Claire’s health incident brought out more tenderness than anything romantic could have. Then, Jay and Gloria’s storyline did a great job of showing the heat that those two have. Mitch and Cam’s storyline was the funniest of the bunch, since it dealt with the aftermath of Mitch indulging a little too much at their party. He dyed the cat pink! Mitch is usually the uptight one, so it was fun to see what happens when he lets loose. But it was actually Cam who offered to let Dylan live with them. The structure of this episode really worked for me, and all three storylines were fantastic.
Best moment: I can’t choose! Maybe Mitch and Cam pulling off their own Clive Bixby bit.

The Big Bang Theory – “The Tangible Affection Proof”
Valentine’s Day episodes of sitcoms are rarely my favorite, and this one was no different. I didn’t care for watching Bernie and Howard snip at each other about laundry and X-boxes. Penny was at her least likable – when she’s brushing off her relationship with Leonard. I was glad Leonard stood up for himself, but Penny was being so abhorrent that I was kind of hoping he’d break up with her. Sure, it was about Penny’s commitment issues. And I did like the idea that now Penny will have to pop the question to Leonard. But from now on, their dynamic needs to be better – healthier. I was almost on board with Raj’s storyline, but the “Later, losers!” like rubbed me the wrong way a little. I do like Kate Micucci though, and I’d love to see her stick around. Luckily, there was one storyline that surprised me, warmed my heart, and made me laugh – Sheldon listing Amy as his emergency contact as a Valentine’s Day gift.

Community – “Paranormal Parentage”
Was this an episode from season one? Unfortunately, Community season four has two strikes now. This episode played all the same old character beats – Jeff tries to be selfish but realizes he can’t ignore his feelings, Pierce does something that ruins a good time for the rest of the gang, Abed makes a few meta jokes (“This show used to be about a community college”) – and just felt repetitive. More importantly, there weren’t enough jokes. And reintroducing Gilbert, Pierce’s secret half-brother? That’s not a road we needed to go down again. Sigh. I really hope the new Community writers figure out how to keep the show fresh and funny, rather than rehashing old material over and over.
Best moment:
Shirley was funny this week, particularly with her comments on Britta and Troy’s relationship.

Parks and Recreation – “Emergency Response”
Oh man. This episode of Parks came out with guns blazing – so much funny! There was Jerry running/falling, April’s creepy rabbit, and Leslie trying to fly away from a nightmare. The episode itself was fantastic – the highlight was Ron Swanson on TV, but Andy’s botched police force audition (tryout? I don’t know) was also hilarious, and the heart of the episode – a fundraiser for the new park that evolved into Ben and Leslie’s wedding – was funny and sweet. I’m really looking forward to seeing them get married in next week’s episode.
Best moment: Feel free to call in about one of Ron’s other interests, like woodworking, novels about tall ships, meat… that kind of thing.

The Office – “Moving On”
This should have been Andy’s swan song – last week’s episode felt like an acknowledgement of how useless that character had become, and he probably should have just been fired. I’m no longer invested in him and Erin, which is too bad since I once really liked them as a couple. The only thing I cared about this week was Pam and her job interview in Philly. I felt like last week’s episode was meant to imply that these two can get through anything. I liked Pam’s reaction to seeing Jim at his new office, with his douchey bluetooth. He was acting like normal Jim, and they seemed back to normal. Pam finding herself in an office led by a pseudo Michael Scott would have been so much funnier if Andy hadn’t been impersonating him since he left. Brian was out of the picture in this episode, but Pam finally admitted to Jim that she doesn’t want to move to Philly. I’m not sure where this is going to go, but I’m really hoping that it ends with the two of them in Philly.
Best moment: No one would have seen The Odd Life of Timothy Green poster coming.

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Survivor: Second time’s the…darn

fans vs faves Survivor: Caramoan, aka Fans vs. Favorites 2.0 premiered on Wednesday night, and it couldn’t have been a better early Valentine’s Day gift for me. I’ve missed all this strategy and backstabbing in my life.

If you want to know what I thought of the returning “favorites” (who would be better described as people in need of a second chance, if you’re being generous), check out this post from a while back. And click on through for a review of the premiere!

Well, let’s cut right to the chase: Poor, poor Francesca. I feel for her, I really do. She went on Survivor, she’s a smart and funny gal, and luck didn’t go her way. She was voted out first. But she was charming enough to be asked back a second time! And boom – out first again. That is rough. I feel like it’s what would happen to me, if I were ever given the chance to play.

Once again, it felt like Francesca played her heart out and got the short end of the stick. I guess her downfall is that she plays too hard right out of the gate. But she also has some seriously bad luck. Phillip had it out with her, and her outside-the-game friendship with Andrea was a disadvantage rather than an advantage. Instead of aligning, Andrea and Francesca couldn’t trust one another. It’s like each woman knew just how smart the other one is. But I’ll write more about Tribal Council and the vote later – let’s take it from the top.

A Lot Of Hoop-la


Malcolm vs. Reynold. I expect we’ll see this rivalry continue.

I like seeing the fans’ reactions as the favorites arrive. There was a lot of cheering for Dawn, almost none for Corinne – is that because she played too long ago, or because she was mean? We went straight for the excitement, and things kicked off with a very physical reward challenge. Players had to wrestle, two on two, for a hoop. Shamar, from the fans, got off to an… aggressive start by yelling “Break her wrist!” during the challenge. He meant “break her hold”, but still. Dial it back a notch or two, bud.

Malcolm scored the winning point for the favorites, which was great. I like Malcolm and want to see him go far here, and it was great to see him prove himself right off the bat. He’s quite obviously the biggest physical asset on the favorites team, so that should help him make it to the merge.



This is a large human. I did NOT expect to see him stretch like a tween ballerina.

Things got off to a rocky start for the fans. First, Shamar and Mark had a pretty heated disagreement over whether building shelter or making fire was a bigger priority. Like, guys? You have TEN PEOPLE on your tribe. There should have been a way to accomplish both. But instead of actually doing something, Shamar sat around criticizing and complaining. To give credit where credit is due, he did a fantastic job making the fire once he got started. But his first impression hasn’t been the best.


fans foursome

(Clockwise from top left) Allie, Reynold, Hope and Eddie

The first impressions are even worse for the Hot Alliance, which literally formed overnight. First, Reynold recruited Allie to be in his alliance. He thought no one would suspect they were aligned because she’s “not the cutest” girl. Well, maybe not – but they sure as hell suspected something once they were practically making out in the shelter all night. Cuddles equals trouble, people! When will you learn?

Eddie and Hope also aligned, because apparently it’s a written requirement of the two most attractive people on the tribe. (Does this mean Andrea and Brenda will have to fight to the death over Malcolm?) Never trust an alliance that’s based entirely on physical appearance.

Obviously, those couples have aligned and, bizarrely, think they have it made as a foursome. They actually called themselves the cool kids, and proclaimed that they wouldn’t let anyone else at the cool kid table. First of all, I hate these people. Second of all, oh, you poor, pretty morons. You are an alliance of four in a tribe of ten. Your votes do not count for double just because you’re beautiful. This means you have no control! The rest of the tribe was already feeling uneasy about the cuddling and the coupling up. They need the men for strength in challenges, so their boos should get ready to say sayonara.

Favorite Mistakes

Over at the favorites’ camp, things were more hectic than simply using mating as a way to form alliances. First, Francesca, Dawn and Andrea decided to team up. This was a smart, sassy lady alliance that I could get on board with. But it didn’t last long.

Phillip. It always comes back to Phillip. He’s already “annoying me greatly”. Phillip – I’m serious now – compared being on Survivor to Iwo Jima. HE COMPARED A REALITY TELEVISION SHOW TO WAR YOU GUYS. I mean, check with Clint Eastwood, but I’m pretty sure none of those soldiers were wearing hot pink Underoos.

Francesca tried to make amends with Phillip, but he just ignored her. The guy is a lunatic, I’m not even sure why she tried. Phillip quickly assembled his own alliance, as he’s now playing with the “BR Rules” (Boston Rob Rules) to Survivor. This should be interesting. Is Rule #1 “Keep Phillip on a very short leash because he’s crazy”? Phillip pulled in Corinne first, and then Andrea, Malcolm and Cochran. He tried for Erik and immediately got on Erik’s wrong side with his aggressive “my way or the highway” pitch. Erik is not a man to be trifled with anymore! He actually called Phillip a “combative idiot loser who makes everyone crazy”, which is just the best.

I’d like to take a moment to acknowledge Cochran’s sunburn. That poor little ginger just can’t catch a break, can he?

Immunity Challenge: Beanbag Toss

I expected the Immunity Challenge to be more exciting than it was. Teams had to race, two at a time, up a large structure and drop crates to the ground. Sure, the climbing was physical, but how hard is it to drop a crate? Not hard. Then, when all the crates had been broken, someone would collect the beanbags that had been inside of them and one player would try to land them in six targets. So… it basically came down to a carnival game where, usually, one person wins a large stuffed Tiger.

The favorites had a pretty big lead, and Malcolm was doing a decent job of tossing. But Reynold made up major ground and ended up winning for the fans – I mean, the guy barely missed! I have several reasons to dislike Reynold, but near the top of that list is the fact that his name is Reynold.

Friends or Foes?

The Favorites camp, post-loss, was nuts. There are so many overlapping alliances, betrayals and backup plans.


Francesca vs. Andrea

Andrea and Francesca’s alliance fell apart faster than it began, which left Dawn as a swing vote – once again tied to Cochran, because who wants to learn from their mistakes? Francesca wanted Phillip gone, which seemed like a non-controversial idea. Phillip is annoying, wears inappropriate underwear, is not physically beneficial and is a strategic loose cannon. I would absolutely not want him on my tribe or in my alliance. But Andrea did, and she began campaigning to get Francesca voted out.

At first, it looked like Francesca solidly had Erik and Brandon on her side, and possibly also had Brenda, Malcolm, Cochran and Dawn as well – and she thought she still had Andrea. A plan to split votes between Phillip and Corinne was tossed around (dumb – there was no evidence that anyone had a Hidden Immunity Idol) but pretty soon everyone became suspicious of Andrea. Next thing you knew, people were talking about voting her out instead. It’s so interesting to me how quickly two women who are friends outside the game became pitted against one another. I really think it’s because each knows how smart the other is, and therefore couldn’t trust her.

It all came down to Cochran and Dawn – a pair that finds themselves in this swing vote position more than most seem to. I really thought they’d opt to go with Francesca. She’s smart, funny, a lawyer and an underdog. How could Cochran not want to  align with her? And why would anyone want to align with Phillip?

But surprisingly, when it came time to vote, it was poor Francesca who was booted off first – again. Francesca, Brandon, Erik and Brenda had voted for Andrea. The rest voted for Francesca. (I’m surprised Brenda ended up on the wrong side of the alliance. She’s a savvy player, and seemed to be flying a little under the radar this time. Considering her reputation that could be for the best, but hopefully she can recover and make her way into a stronger alliance.)

Like I said, poor Francesca. This would statistically make her the worst Survivor player ever, but she absolutely is not. Survivor‘s an art, not a science. Stats don’t tell you much. But still, how awful to be the first person eliminated both times you play.

I’m interested to hear what you guys think of this episode and how the alliances are playing out so far. I really am surprised that so many of the favorites are willing to work with Phillip. Sure, he went all the way to the end last time and was often useful to Boston Rob. But Rob kept him on a very short leash and worked hard to maintain a relationship that would ensure Phillip’s compliance. There’s no guarantee that someone could make that happen again. Phillip’s behavior last season revealed him to be paranoid, easily offended and unpredictable. Even if you take his awful personality out of the equation, he’s still a far from ideal partner in the game. I wouldn’t want to work with him for the same reasons I wouldn’t want to work with Brandon. It’s always better to align with people who won’t freak out over nothing and either jump ship or stupidly screw up a vote. What do you think?

Survivor: Second time’s the…darn ...

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The Bachelor – Welcome to St. Cry

bachelor Thank god, we’re back to one episode a week on The Bachelor. And thankfully, we’re out of Canada, my home country, which was depicted as the worst place on the face of the earth last week.

This week, Sean and the six remaining ladies headed to warm, beautiful St. Croix. We have beaches in Canada, too! And a thing called summer! Anyway. Only six? I can’t believe Sean is down to only six women, I feel like I haven’t even learned all of their names yet.

Date #1 -AshLee

Despite being in a beautiful place, Tierra was whining. She didn’t want to share a room with any of the girls, so she got a roll-away cot for the shared space. What a gem. It’s very bizarre how she can comfortably refer to Sean as her boyfriend, knowing full well what the format of the show is. It’s like she was hand-delivered a manual from Courtney. What a phoney.

AshLee and Sean had a fun beach day, and she once again added to the chorus of women telling him that Tierra is a secret bitch. He thanks these women for being honest with a smile on his face, but then what does he do? Nothing.

Over dinner, AshLee confided her “skeleton in the closet” to Sean – she had a short-lived teenage marriage. I kind of felt sorry for AshLee and how worried she was. If that had changed Sean’s opinion of her, I’d think he was less of a man. And I don’t think that much of him to begin with. AshLee dropped the L-bomb at the end of the date. The poor girl, she has no idea what an idiot this guy is.

Date #2 – Tierra


This looks very trying.

Tierra was miserable when AshLee got the first one-on-one date, even making a cruel “cougar” joke about AshLee, who has the nerve to be single at the ripe old age of 32. Then, when Tierra received the date card for the second one-on-one date, she turned her nose up at the idea of exploring the local town. Yep. The thing that all the other ladies were jealous of – getting to see a cool place! – but Tierra was worried about bugs and her mascara running. I hate her.

Tierra – hot, gross, and thirsty – put on a brave face for Sean as she braved a horrific day of shopping in a resort town that is technically still part of the United States.

This is why Sean’s a moron: He only cares about how Tierra behaves around him, and that’s incredibly selfish and a good way to end up with a bitchy girlfriend. He should listen to what other people say, he should care about what other people think. Who wants to be with a person who is generally disliked? He has come to the conclusion that she is probably not nice to other people! Who wants that? Sean is a guy that is easily fooled by a girl who’ll throw herself at him and play games. Pathetic.

Date #3 – Early Morning Group Date

“I just need to pee and I’m good to go.” – Catharine

Sean woke up Desiree, Catharine and Linday for a 4:00 a.m. group date. From what I have seen, Sean is not worth a 4:00 a.m. wake-up call. Being woken up before sunrise is not something I’d be into, and it has nothing to do with the makeup. But even I have to admit, that sunrise was beautiful. Luckily, I got to see it on TV at a perfectly decent time of day.

The foursome hung out for the day, and visited a pretty damn amazing treehouse. It was so obvious that Des and Sean are right together that Catharine and Lindsay felt like they were on a double date. Awkward. Later, Sean connected with Catharine on the beach – but does everyone left on this show have a sad life story? And are they all willing to share them on TV? This must be part of the casting process.

I was shocked that Sean gave the rose to Lindsay. Wedding dress girl is getting a hometown date? I think I fell asleep when Sean and Lindsay were talking this week. Or I couldn’t hear them over the crunch of my chips. Either way, I don’t remember any chemistry.

Date #4 – Lesley

I like Lesley, therefore I don’t want her to be on this show. She seems too good for it. Sean went into the date saying that he has stronger feelings for other women, so I had a feeling that she might escape the hell of The Bachelor sooner rather than later. Their date was fine, but uneventful. Boring, even – I have nothing to write about it, and that’s saying something.

Sister Act

Sean’s sister Shay came to visit, and to knock some sense into her brother. Sean pretty quickly told her that Tierra is the only girl left who might end up as The One Who Everyone Hates. Shay warned Sean that a girl who can’t get along with other girls is trouble, and for once he actually listened.

Meanwhile, Tierra and Ashley got into what looked like a conversation forced upon them by producers, which evolved into a catty, she-said-she-said fight. To be fair, we did see Tierra tell AshLee that everyone in the house gossips about her, and then we did see her deny it over and over. There were so many good lines here, guys. “Tierra, you have a sparkle” and “I can’t control my eyebrow!” were the best.

Sean decided that the best thing to do would be to grab Tierra and have her chat with him and his sister. Wrong! The *best* thing to do would be so send Shay in as an undercover production assistant so she could witness the catty fighting that Tierra was instigating with everyone else.

Sean showed up, and Tierra was sobbing. Does she have onions hidden somewhere? How can she conjure these crocodile tears and play the victim card so easily? Sean FINALLY realized that he was dealing with a crazy person, and so he sent her packing. In the gentlest way possible, by telling her that it was because he cares about her so much. I wish he’d said “You’re a crazy, manipulative, awful person and you need to leave”, but that would be asking too much of Mr. Vanilla.

“Nobody will take my sparkle away” are the last words I ever need to hear from Tierra.

Needless to say, the women were thrilled when Sean announced that he realized Tierra wasn’t going to be his wife. Sean also bailed on the cocktail party and went straight into the rose ceremony. AshLee, Des and Catharine joined Lindsay in receiving roses, and Lesley was sent home. Catharine was weirdly heartbroken over it.

I’m not surprised at these results based on the dates from this episode, but I wouldn’t have predicted these four women after the first several episodes. The only one who even seemed on Sean’s radar was Des. Next week are hometowns! Always a fun time.

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