When Will I Learn?

“We’re pregnant again” she told me.

Oh bliss! Oh joy! Oh the wonderful blessing of new life!

When are you due?

She told me, and then

“but I will probably have the baby sooner because of the scheduled C-section.”

What?! 

You don’t want to try for a VBAC? You know if you do, you should try to find a doctor who supports you in that. Don’t just take the word of one doctor. Don’t you know that letting a baby grow in you for as long as baby wants is good for your baby?

When will I learn?

To stop all the judgement?

To just be supportive?

That none of it matters?

Just love.

And she has plenty of that.

All these opinions. The do-this-and-not-that. The let-me-get-on-my-high-horse-so-we-can-talk. Don’t induce. Breastfeed. Attachment. Gentle. Everything that makes me better than you.

In some twisted world.

When will I learn?

That these decisions that have little effect on the outcome of the world will drastically change the dynamic of our relationship.

Because now I have built an island. One where I am unapproachable. Now I am just another judgmental Mom creating dividers between us.

When will I learn?

That motherhood is not a competition. We don’t need to be better than each other, just best for our kids.

When will I learn?

That what I need to do is reach out. Support. Spread my arms out to love and encourage and care.

Those bits: the love, encouragement, caring. That’s how I can spread good parenting. That is what matters. Not the trivial things.

I am a parent. Not an expert. Just someone trying desperately to get it right, for them; my kids. And she is just doing the same thing.

That’s the important stuff. That’s the stuff that matters. The stuff that Mommyhood is made of.

Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/MommysMiracle/~3/PklUdou5OG0/when-will-i-learn.html

Back to top

Coming up next...