5 Things Men Should Not Do at a Table

1. Sit on the inside of a booth when on a double date. This is a tell tale sign that you do not put your girlfriend’s comfort ahead of your own. Be a gentleman and let her in first, you take the outside and play the role of protector. It’s the same principle as why men sleep on the side closest to the door.
2. Use the expression “Appies” to indicate appetizers. The word appy is unpleasant enough coming from the mouth of a woman, but from a man it is like nails on chalkboard. Appetizers, starters, snacks, all good. Appy? No.
3. Ask for help with the menu before even looking at it. Asking a server to describe a menu is something women do. Be a fucking man and read the menu. If you narrow it down to a couple of selections and need your server to recommend one, fine, but don’t say “I need help with this menu.” Especially if you are with a woman on a first date. You think she is going to want a second date with a man who can’t even pick out a plate of food. Be a man, make a decision.
4. Order Pina Coladas.
5. Order before the girl. Call me old fashioned, but the girl orders first. Just relax, sit there and wait the five minutes for her to explain what she wants (it can be aggravating I know), then place your order. You are doing the server a favour because if you order first, he’ll forget what you ordered after she is finished.