For those of you in Nova Scotia right now, I thought I’d help you battle the blizzard boredom by sharing with you, one of the greatest treasures I have ever discovered in my life.

Over a year ago, I was walking around Toys ‘R’ Us, making fun of random things & people when I stumbled upon a book, a book that was so creepy, and so bizarre that it could only be made for children…

Insert: DADDY & ME.

Please note: the book’s publishing company is called A SUPER CHUBBY. Do not let the fact that the Father resembles Bruce Campbell fool you, this man is a creep with a super chubby.

Let’s explore…

Innocent looking enough, maybe even cute, but look into that child’s eyes, you know something is wrong and no amount of Luigi-clone can cover that up.

On the left: this man’s hair cut gives him away right away. Creep. On the right: children cannot fly, this man is lying to this child. Creep.

This man is not wearing socks, but he is wearing a wristwatch. Creepy creep.

On the left: no grown man’s enthusiasm is allowed to match that of a child’s: thus, creep. On the right: black Dad knows how to keep his cool, but he’s still a creep.

This kid is so ****ed.

I hope that this disturbing piece of children’s literature helped distract you from the fact the Snowpocalypse is upon us. Happy shovelling!