OK guys, I missed recapping last week’s episode of The Bachelorette for family reasons, but I am all caught up and back this week.

The first episode always tends to be a bit boring, so I didn’t have much to say anyway.

Andy picked 19 guys, and obviously I can’t tell any of them apart yet. But there is one hilarious thing to discuss – Chris B. crashing the party!

Chris B. was from Emily’s season of The Bachelorette and Bachelor Pad (ick). Apparently he quite likes Andi, because he showed up at the gate of the Bachelor mansion with a bouquet of roses, hoping to vie for her affection. Chris was a jerk when Emily dumped him and an even bigger jerk on Bachelor Pad, so I was thrilled when Andi wouldn’t allow him to enter the competition. She says she doesn’t know who he is, but I hope that secretly she heard the words “Bachelor Pad” and thought “Nope!”

That humiliation was the highlight of the episode, but now we’re into the good stuff – dates! Let’s go.

Date #1 – Eric

The first date went to Eric. At the beginning of the first episode, Chris Harrison told viewers that Eric tragically died after the show had finished filming. He’s an explorer who travels the world for a living, and died in a paragliding accident. It will be interesting to see how long he’s on the show, and how his storyline is handled. He’s a very attractive, incredibly interesting guy so I wouldn’t be surprised if he remained in the competition for a while.

Andi and Eric went snowboarding, and then hung out together while Eric talked about his time spent in Syria. She asked him about how his lifestyle would change when he has a family, and he said having a family was his biggest goal in life. It was pretty sad to watch, knowing how his life would be cut short.

Date #2 – Group date!

A large group of men went on a group date – there’s no point in naming them. The first portion of the date was a charity strip show. Wow. The Bachelorette is really leaning in to their image, huh? I love seeing people who would never otherwise do something like this humilate themselves on national TV.

These guys don’t strike me as the most mature men in the world. At the cocktail party following the STRIP SHOW, some men got incredibly drunk. Because they’re 20-something year-old men and the booze is free. Who’s surprised?

Craig was completely wasted, and made a fool of himself in front of Andi. Eventually, he was sent home by producers.

Andi gave the rose to Marcus, who helped her chill out after all the drunken chaos.

Date #3 – Chris

This date was up my alley – Andi took Chris on a date to a horse race, dressed in 1940s costumes. The very obviously staged conversation with a couple who’ve been married 55 years was rather awkward, though.

Later, Chris told Andi that he broke off an engagement when he was younger. She gave him a rose, and they enjoyed my worst nightmare a private concert. Way to ruin an otherwise decent date! If it were me, I’d be back at the stables hangin’ with some ponies. NOT awkwardly slow-dancing as some bearded stranger sings.

Rose Ceremony

At first, everything was going very well at the cocktail party. Many of the guys seemed quite nice. Then Craig decided to “serenade” Andi as an apology for being a hot drunk mess. It was terrible! What will he do to apologize for being a terrible singer? Knit something?

Andi kept the gym rat, a guy with strangely thick hair, and many others.

She dumped a hot firefighter in hipster glasses, which seemed ridiculous, as well as the pro golfer, and the drunk guy Craig.

Next week The Bachelorette will be on twice, which is FOUR hours of this madness. Can we do it? I think we can do it if we stick together. Tune in to find out who’s in it for the right reasons! (Hint: I bet it’s no one!)