So Kalia is the new HOH, the Veterans are nervous, and Rachel cried and cried and cried.
WAH! WAH! WAH! Where’s My Boo-Key?
Yup, girlfriend did a lot of crying this episode. Outside, in the house, with a mouse on a box …well you get the idea. Now it is really annoying to watch Rachel cry but it would be funny if Big Brother had an “elapsed time” clock on the corner of the screen.
Next, Jordan and Porsche try to comfort her. No, don’t do that! You are giving her exactly what she wants, which is attention. Attention is like her sustenance. They remind her that it will be less than 6 weeks before she sees him. Here’s a reference of six weeks. The amount of time Bachelorette Ashley falls in love with Bentley, falls out of love with Bentley, visits various countries and eventually finds love that quite frankly won’t last too long. That’s six weeks.
In the end of the crying montage Rachel says she is done with crying and now she is stronger. Really?
Who wants to see my HO….. a boo hoo hooo…sniff … sniffff… room?
I have never seen anyone break down in the HOH room the way Kalia did. I can’t see myself crying so hard looking at a picture of my family but I could change my story if I was unable to see them for a long period of time.
After the tour concludes Rachel and Kalia have a chat. This was absolutely the fakest conversation I ever saw. Rachel says, “I am excited for you” and “I respect you.” Kalia also complements Rachel’s strategy in the game. This conversation is as fake as Rachel’s boobs.
(Note: I tried really hard to make a better joke and this was all I got.)
Later, Kalia discusses with Danielle who she should nominate. So far it sounds like Kalia is aiming for Jeff and Rachel. She wants to do it without making Jeff upset. Apparently she has a really good idea to achieve this, she says, “I will play the emotional card.” Bad move, Kalia. Nothing, I repeat, NOTHING shuts a man down more then when a woman plays the emotional card. They always make this face and refuse to talk.
|Photo courtesy of Community
I would suggest wearing a tight shirt and holding a plate of ribs, or any BBQ related food.
The Return of the HAVE /HAVE NOT
After the Hasselhoff debacle and last week’s marathon HOH competition, I was happy the competition was back. Today’s competition is about eating gross stuff. They always seem to do a competition like this at least once a season. The house is divided into two teams. A player from each team will face off by making a disgusting cocktail of three ingredients with milk. Each player drinks the others concoctions and has to guess the ingredients, who ever guesses the most wins. If there is a tie then, just like my high school graduation, you have to chug it.
The teams are:
Red Team: Lawon, Porsche, Danielle, and Adam
Blue Team: Jeff, Shelly, Jordan, and Rachel
I am not sure why Rachel and Adam didn’t play, I didn’t get that part.
Here are the face offs
Lawon: Creamed corn, corn beef, potato chips
Jeff: Scrambled eggs, gorgonzola cheese, applesauce
These two tie and they have to chug. Jeff wins which isn’t surprising because he totally looks like a frat boy.
Shelly: Beets, pickles, jalapenos
Porsche: Onions, carrots, yams
Porsche wins this round. To me Porsche’s concoction seems the least offensive. Onions, carrots, and sweet potatoes are often foods my mom makes as a side to a Sunday roast.
Dani: Sauerkraut, horseradish, applesauce
Jordan: Spray cheese, creamed corn, liverwurst
These two have to perform a chug-off and surprisingly the tiniest girl in the house (Danielle) is the winner.
So Shelly, Jeff, Jordan, and Rachel are the Have Nots for the week. And this is the beginning of little Jordan losing her cool.
Kitty Got Claws – Jordan Snaps!
Here are some things that lead to Jordan’s break-down.
1) She was very disappointed that she lost the competition. It was kind of funny the way she kept saying ‘sauerkraut’ under her breath, like it was her mortal enemy. Being a Have Not really doesn’t sound like fun. I tried a gluten-free diet for two months and that was hard. Sometime I would want to rip someone’s head off, but then I ate a bag of kettle-cooked chips and all was well again.
2) Shelly didn’t try very hard in the competition. When she was trying to guess the concoction, Jeff kept suggesting yams and she completely ignored him. That is annoying. At trivia the other night I knew the answer was KD Lang, everyone thought it was Celine Dion. (Care to guess what the question was?)
3) Finally, Jordan just hates Porsche. I can see why, Porsche hasn’t really done anything. Also, during the HOH competition Porsche picked Jeff to face off with Shelly. But really she only had a choice between three people. Doesn’t matter, Jordan’s spark was ignited.
So when Jeff and Jordan decide to approach Kalia about her idea about nominations Jordan was already on the edge. Kalia doesn’t deny that her plan is to target Rachel and Jeff and that Jordan will be replacement nominees. Jordan gets really mad, and tells Kalia she is going to make some real enemies if she keeps it up. And then she describes the rest of the housemates at ‘dead weight.’ Whoa! That sounded really harsh coming from her.
Jordan walks away and now I am scared of her. Then Jeff threatens to Kalia, “I will be after you.” We got that on tape right for future evidence?
Here’s the thing, yes, I agree with Jordan that some of the players are dead weight, imagine if the final three were Porsche, Lawon and Shelly? However, Jordan, don’t be so surprised that people are gunning for you.
Get out and vote America!
The narrator reminds the audience that American can vote for a housemate to return. Also, he mentions they were still cut off from the world. So they were not reunited with their family? That’s sad. It will definitely be Cassi and Dominic voted in. The audience doesn’t know Keith enough and unless America wants to make Rachel happy, Brendon will not be chosen.
When did the 10 year old girl show up? – Nominations
Usually, I just state who is nominated but some interesting things happened during the ceremony. First Rachel keeps sitting close to Danielle and when Danielle moves Rachel moves again. Danielle asks, “Does she have to be sitting on my lap?” Rachel replies, “I’m not even touching her.” It’s as if the Big Brother producers are the parents of the house, “Big Brother, she’s touching me!” Rachel is so annoying and immature, it’s as if she is Benjamin Button but instead of physically growing younger, it’s her maturity that is going backwards. Next she will threaten to not invite people to her Brownie troop sleepover.
When Jordan receives her key she reminds the other housemates that there is no point for her even having a key because she knows she is the replacement nominee. Meow!
Well Kalia makes a decision, which she stresses is completely her own, that Jeff and Rachel are up on the block.
The whole episode wrapped up with Rachel giving Danielle one last burn, “Hey Danielle, you’re such an idiot.” Bravo Rachel.
So will Jordan calm down a little? Does Kalia regret her strategy? And can Rachel ever make a good come back?
- The elf suit comes to an end. I think the producers were hoping this would be funnier than it was. Last year when Enzo wore the penguin suit it was so funny because he remained serious the whole time.
- What was with the hipster glasses during the Have/ Have Not competition? (My friend just explained, it was a Mad Men themed bar.)
- When Jordan sees the coconuts that she is allowed to have she asks, “Do you eat coconuts or drink coconuts?”