You know what I DON’T want to see after coming home from a nice, romantic dinner at an Italian restaurant? I don’t want to see a guy swallow a thread, and then pull it through the skin on his abdomen. Sick. I hate magic. I’ve always hated magic. I only find it interesting if I find out how it worked in the end. But, the first guy to perform on America’s Got Talent on Tuesday night was a magician, and he was good, I guess, at his craft. He was put through to the next round starting the episode off on a positive, though grotesque, note. Other magicians made it through as well – a nerdy looking guy with a sexy schoolgirl assistant, as well as a guy who threw knives (or something?) at a board with Nick Cannon attached to the backside.

How cute was the 16-year-old Dutch boy from Orlando who called himself “Amadeus” and played the piano? I don’t know much about piano, but he seemed good and was cute as pie in his wig and costume.

From there, the auditions got worse and worse. The worst was the guy who danced/stripped to “It’s Rainin’ Men”. Let’s just say he had nothing on Geri Halliwell. Luckily, the dancing improved – the dance crew that came on soon after the stripper was fantastic.

“Hallelujah” is one of the most overdone songs on television (reality and otherwise), but maybe people don’t know that in Haiti. Because that band from Haiti was amazing. A reggae twist on a Leonard Cohen song? I thought I’d heard every version of that song possible, but apparently not. To be completely honest, the vocals weren’t amazing – but they had a lot of heart and originality.

The award for Most Annoying of the Night went to the lady with the weird name who sang “I’ll be in the studio, studio…studio, studio”. Seriously, did they have to allot SO MUCH TIME to a woman who sang a song with only 7 words in the lyrics? Come on! And with that, the first hour of the show was over.

The second episode began with a series of weird, wacky auditions. One woman came out dressed as a zombie, with a zombie man on a leash. How is that a talent? I liked the singing duo called The Strange Familiar, even though we didn’t hear much of their rendition of “I’ll Stand By You”. The worst display of “talent” was the air band. Literally, all they did was play air guitar. If I want to see someone play air guitar, I’ll go hang out with my dad. (I put that in because I know he reads this!) I do not need to see it on TV. I mean, they could have at least played Guitar Hero or Rock Band. I couldn’t believe they were put through to Vegas!

I didn’t quite understand the kid who flew the indoor kite. It was pretty, and it’s lovely that it helps him relieve stress, but how far can he go with that? How many more times can we watch him fly a kite? Am I wrong? Was this actually really inspiring and mesmerizing and can be watched again and again?

To be honest, this was not my favorite episode of America’s Got Talent. I mean, the last several minutes of the episode were spent on a charming, but generally untalented “hand whistling” grandma. Seriously? Hand whistling? And she wasn’t even on pitch! Yet, she went to Vegas. Overall, the show seemed very magic-heavy and featured a lot of weird, one-trick pony. Here’s hoping the next episode has a bit more to offer.