America’s Next Top Model: Posin’ for Posen

I love Zac Posen. Love, love, love. He makes beautiful, feminine, unique clothes. He’s adorable. He’s BFF with Natalie Portman. What’s not to love? Seriously, don’t you want to be at a party with them?
So obviously, I was beyond excited to find out that the model wannabes would be modeling in a Zac Posen show on ANTM this week. And they got to ask him questions. And they actually asked smart questions that weren’t embarrassing at all.
Fashion, turn to the left
The fun, kinda wacky part of the Posen show that reminded us all that it is still a show run by Tyra Banks was that the professional models working the show were instructed to try and intimidate the ANTM girls, to try and shake their nerves. Actually, I thought it was a pretty interesting concept. Better than having them walk through a swinging pendulum.
ALT opened the show, draped in what looked like his Baptist pastor’s robes.Almost as crazy as his eyebrows. I love that man.
Jane opened the show, and she looked a bit nervous but still great. Esther looked AMAZING in her outfit. Her make-up was stunning and I would seriously kill for that dress, which suited her curves perfectly. Ann caved under the pressure and really looked awkward and uncomfortable. Then Esther’s second trip down the runway was horrible. What happened, Esther? Was it the ugly coat? Chelsey worked her cute purple dress, though. After the challenge I fell in love with Zac Posen even more when he told Ann that even though she was awkward (read: awful) she’s rare, and that makes her a hot commodity. But that doesn’t make her the winner – congratulations, Chelsey! She does have a good walk. 
Don’t Stand So Close To Me
These models have a lot of interesting early morning house guests! The first morning it was Miss J and Zac Posen, the next morning it was Mr. Jay and Nigel Barker! They were there to tell the girls they’d be shooting a commercial (for a fake brand of vitamin water),  which would be directed by Nigel.
I love commercial time. It always shows a different side to the girls, and gives a bit of an advantage to the girls with good personalities. This commercial would be extra intense for the girls because it involved kissing. And rollerskates. Although this sounds like my fantasy 25th birthday party (seriously, someone throw me a roller disco party please!), it was Ann and Kayla’s worst nightmares.
At first, I was annoyed with Kayla. In fact, this is what I wrote:
Oh, Kayla. Really? You had to complain about kissing a dude in the commercial? This irks me, since so many wonderful gay actors struggle to be taken seriously in straight roles. I know Kayla is young, and I know she’s not pursuing an acting career, but acting is an aspect of modeling and I think she should suck it up. If the commercial called for girls to kiss other girls, I’d tell any complaining straight models to suck it up as well.
Then, BOOM. Being a lesbian was not the only reason Kayla had a problem kissing a dude in the commercial. Kayla revealed that she was once sexually assaulted, so her issues run a lot deeper than thinking boys are gross. Still, I’ve got to ask…why be a model? Models are asked to pose in hyper-sexualized ways with both men and women ALL THE TIME. How does Kayla expect to find work as a model and be happy if interacting with male models in such an intimate way uproots such painful emotions? If being in intimate situations with men scare you, modeling might not be the career path for you. Also, I really hope Kayla warned her mom about this before the episode aired, because she also revealed that she’d never told her family, or anyone for that matter, about the horrific experience. I was impressed with how Jay reacted and was glad he encouraged Kayla to find some help for herself.
Product Placement
When it came time for Kayla to film her commercial she overcame her discomfort, but I didn’t agree with Jay that her performance was “unbelievable” – she seemed awkward and struggled with her lines.
But, she didn’t struggle as much as Liz, who not only forget her lines but kept laughing when she screwed up. Esther tried to look like she was having fun, but it was the kind of fun mathletes have. Chelsey and Jane struggled with their skates more than their lines, but Chris really stood out as the best. Ann was close to tears before she even started filming the commercial, and then her worst fear was realized – she looked like she took a couple pretty hard spills on the rollerskates.
Poor Ann. It seems like the better she does, the more terrified she becomes and this week she kind of bombed. A runway challenge and a commercial really brought her weaknesses to light.
Kayla talking to the other girls about her past abuse and realizing that speaking about the experience really helped her was pretty touching. I don’t like Kayla as a model, but hopefully modeling has helped her in some way. OK, enough serious talk. Let’s talk panel.
Jane: I thought Jane’s commercial was really cute. She’s incredibly gorgeous, but has a college girl appeal that sets her apart from some of the others.She really interacted well with the male model in the commercial.
Liz: Liz’s commercial was horrible. She seemed like she didn’t care, and it was even worse that she laughed in front of the judging panel. Nigel had told her not to laugh, and then she laughed in front of him! And then she cried. Liz has a different, strong look but I can’t stand her personality.
Chris: Chris’s commercial was definitely the best. It was comfortable, cute and likable. Sure, it was a little cheesy – but in a charming way.
Ann: Poor Ann. It wasn’t just bad, it was embarrassing. Not only was her commercial horrid, but her terrible posture in front of the panel just made me want to cringe.
Kayla: Kayla’s commercial was weak. It wasn’t as bad as Liz’s or Ann’s, but it wasn’t good either.
Chelsey: Chelsey’s commercial sounded forced, but it was OK. She got all her lines out (more than you could say for some of the other girls), but she needed more energy and personality.
Esther: Esther’s commercial was lackluster and disappointing. While Chelsey needed some more personality, Esther just didn’t have any at all.
So who deserved to go? Chris was by far the best, and Jane and Chelsey were good enough. The rest of the girls? Bad, bad, bad. Ann might have delivered the worst commercial, but based on past performances she didn’t deserve to go home. Frankly, I could have stood to lose Kayla, Esther and Liz all at once this week, but I knew the judges wouldn’t send Kayla home. So it was down to Liz or Esther.
As predicted, Chris was called first. Then Jane, Chelsey (should I be betting money on this thing?), Kayla, and Liz. With Ann and Esther left in the bottom two, I knew it was over for Esther. Poor girl, I still think she has more potential than some of the other girls. She just couldn’t muster the right attitude to be a model.

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