Bachelor Pad – Hope you don’t have too many bags to pack…

Bachelor Pad – Hope you don’t have too many bags to pack… Sorry y’all, there were some technical difficulties with my Bachelor Pad viewing last week. You’d think since the show airs on TWO channels that I get, I’d be able to watch it without any problems. But no. Neither ABC nor CityTV played it, and I couldn’t find it airing at a later time.

Anyway, I’ve skimmed through last week’s episode and am basically caught up. For those of you who didn’t see it, here’s the gist:

  • Kalon took Lindzi on a date – I don’t understand those two as a couple at all.
  • Tony took his new partner Blakely on a date – I actually kind of like them as a couple.
  • Michael prepared a little date for Rachel at the mansion – I continue to enjoy both of them despite my better judgment reminded me that no one who goes on this show is any good.
  • This week, the twist was that everyone would vote out a woman, and that woman would get to choose a man to eliminate as well. Michael tried to work things out to get Erica Rose eliminated and to convince her that Chris was the culprit, but he got caught – Chris revealed to Erica that he wasn’t voting for her and she knew her friend Michael had done it – so she chose Michael. It got personal, too. She not only rubbed Michael’s face in it, but brought up Holly leaving him for Blake. (Lame-o Bachelor Pad manipulations aside, Blake is SO GROSS and Holly is kind of the worst.)
  • Obviously, Rachel was crushed. I think she’ll get over it.

OK, let’s get to this week’s episode!

Howdy, Partners!

It’s that time again! Everyone has to begin playing as partners. Ed and Jaclyn, Blakely and Tony, Chris and Sara, Lindzi and Kalon, and Rachel and Michael Nick. Poor Rachel, she was so upset. Them’s the breaks, kid!


There’s no better challenge than the Bachelor Pad spelling bee. Honestly, I love watching these people humiliate themselves. I can’t believe how dumb some of them are.

The final two couples were Ed and Jaclyn (Ed kept blowing it, no surprise there) and winners Chris and Sara. Everyone wants those two out, so people were pretty angry to see them get roses this week. Both couples got overnight dates.

Putting the Train in Trainwreck

For their date, Chris and Sara took a train to their date, where they went swimming and talked about Emily. Oh Chris, don’t even play. You are way too sleazy to have ever ended up with Emily. Sara can have you.

Sad Sacks

Back at the mansion, Rachel was sobbing because she missed Michael and wanted to take herself out of the game. Since Chris and Sara had roses, the alliance would have to turn on itself. Jaclyn convinced her to stay, and instead she, Rachel and Blakely decided that Lindzi least deserved to stick around. We really haven’t seen much of Lindzi on this show at all, but that doesn’t surprise me. She was pretty bland on her season of The Bachelor.


Apparently Ed and Jaclyn sleep in the same bed every night, yet Ed told Jaclyn in front of everyone that he doesn’t like her. This show is like the sluttiest, worst high school sleepaway camp ever.

Jaclyn and Ed got in a tiny plane, where Jaclyn displayed none of the symptoms of the “really bad plane anxiety” that she’d talked about but instead did that thing where girls think it’s cute to act scared. Homegirl. Have you seen Bridesmaids? Plane anxiety is not attractive.

Bachelor Pad – Hope you don’t have too many bags to pack…

Sitting in the wind, Ed delivered a weak apology to Jaclyn and she did that thing where girls apologize for no reason. Ed told Jaclyn that he’d been pursuing someone at home — record scratch! NO ONE would want to be with Ed after watching this show. I don’t know who would want to be with Ed before this show either, but definitely not after. Anyway, they “broke up” so that he could come on the show “single”, but he still has “feelings” for her.


Ed assumed that because he told Sara, Jaclyn knew. Really? Using gossip as an excuse? This guy is a real piece of work. Jaclyn said she’ll never recover from this, which is a fitting over-exaggeration coming from a girl who frequently claims to be having panic attacks while behaving perfectly calmly.

Jaclyn said whether or not she took the overnight date was a big decision. What? How is it any decision at all? The guy has another girl, so go home to your individual beds! Ed used the classic douchey “this is an immature Facebook relationship status issue”, which is a serious red flag. “I don’t want to look like a whore”, Jaclyn repeated. Oh, sweetie. Too little too late?

Jaclyn eventually determined “I can’t live without him.” This girl is the MOST dramatic. Of course, she slept with him.

Pillows = Date

Why is it that all a guy has to do on this show is ask a production assistant to toss a few pillows onto the cobblestones, open a bottle of wine, and drag a gal outside for a “date” and she’ll totally swoon? That’s the easiest date ever! Show some creativity, men!

Also? I could live without the up-close kisses. I really, really could.

Blakely and Tony both have kids and live far apart. Good luck with that.

Rose Wars

Jaclyn and Ed were given roses to hand out when they returned to the mansion, so they let all the couples plead their cases. They eventually passed that safety on to Blakely and Tony. Nick thought it was a bad decision – buddy, if you want to see a bad decision look at that tank top you’re wearing. Yowza.

Most people in the house were looking at voting out Lindzi and Kalon, so Kalon decided to target Rachel and Nick. After lots of mind-numbing conversation, Lindzi and Kalon were eliminated. They barely made a mark on the show, so they won’t be missed. I can’t wait to see where things stand with them at the live finale. I hope Lindzi knows how to travel light.

We’re beginning to get down to the wire. There are lots of spoilers out there on the Interwebs about the outcome of the show and some of the relationships, but out of respect to other readers please don’t post any in the comments. Now get down there and tell me what you’re thinking!

Bachelor Pad – Hope you don’t have too many bags to pack…


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