Let me be blunt, I hate Halloween. And by hate, I don’t mean that I kind of dislike it. I mean, I dread it.
There are a number of reasons that all add up to me not being a fan of Halloween:
- Costumes – my kids change their minds 15 times before finally settling (after being forced by me) and making a decision.
- Candy – I think Halloween was invented to make Dentists richer.
- Treats – there is that fine line between getting your candy early before it runs out and getting it so early that you have to replenish it five times because you (meaning me) have no willpower.
- Strangers – when else do you welcome greedy strangers into your house (or at least in your entryway)? I don’t want this to become a habit…
- Slutty adult costumes – Some people use Halloween as an excuse to pull out their S&M clothes or “raunch up” a fairytale character. Gross. Just gross.
- Decorations – I do not like spiders IRL (in real life) so why would I want to decorate my house with them… or black cats… or corpses. I don’t get it.
- DIY Stress – I put this on myself, I know, but a few years back I was into sewing (get up off the floor, that phase has passed) and I felt the need to make a costume for my oldest that was unique. Well, as unique as a grade 2 student will let you be. I ended up having to get my mother to put in the zipper because I was on the edge of a breakdown (clearly not enough wine). It all ended well… and I ended up with a hangover.
- Pumpkins – they are messy, the seeds taste like tree bark and they inevitably get smashed on the street by rotten kids. Rotten pumpkins attract rotten kids.
- Weather – I live on the East Coast of Canada. It’s cold here… most of the time we have to plan for two Halloween costumes for each daughter – the one with the winter jacket under it and the one without for indoor Halloween parties.
- Bella/Wacko – a 63 pound dog who barks every time someone walks by, let alone rings the doorbell or knocks does make for a fun Halloween night partner.
The only good thing about Halloween… It only lasts for two hours in our town. Yee haw! The sooner it’s over, the sooner it’s wine o’clock.
Oh, and one last thing… what I dislike most about Halloween? The next days marks the start of the darkest, dreariest month of them all. November. Boo!
