But Mommm: Decisions

Today, for the first time ever, I overheard a stranger talking negatively about a parenting decision we made. The disapproving tone and whispered comment came from a couple (I’m guessing in their 60s) sitting in a booth next to us at a restaurant.

 

“I can’t believe they let those girls do that. Terrible. Unbelievable.”

 

The decision? We let our four and six-year-old girls go to the bathroom by themselves.

 

 

I’ll start by saying that the situation has to be right in order for us to allow them to do that. If we’re grocery shopping and someone has to go, we leave the cart and all go together. If we’re in the car and someone has to go, we would never let them run into a restaurant or a gas station by themselves. But if my husband has them downhill skiing by himself, he’ll definitely let them go in together while he waits right outside the door.

 

In this particular situation, it was 9am on Sunday at Steak and Stein in Dartmouth. With the exception of a few other families and a few older couples, the restaurant was pretty much empty. We were sitting in the row of booths closest to the bathrooms and I could see the door from where I was sitting. When our four-year-old announced she had to go, our six-year-old quickly said she’d take her. We said ok and off they went. A few minutes later our oldest came back and said they were having trouble getting a new toilet paper roll started in the stall so I went in to help.

 

As we all came back from the bathroom (our son had come with me when I went), I noticed the couple looking at me with stern looks on their faces. It was as I sat down that I overheard the comment.

 

 

I must admit that it threw me for a loop. I felt like I needed to go over and defend our unending love for the kids. I felt like screaming that there was no way we’d ever deliberately put them in harms way. In a world where there are parents who do unthinkable and horrible things to their children, I wanted to tell them that letting them pee together in an empty restaurant with the bathrooms in view was not a crime.

 

Then I started second guessing myself. Were they right? Are they too young? Did we make the wrong decision? Their one judging comment occupied my brain for the entire day. It was definitely a new (and terrible) experience to know that two strangers left a restaurant thinking we were horrible parents. In that moment though, with the situation what it was, it honestly felt like a no brainer. Rightly or wrongly.

 

 

Deanna is a Mom of three, wife, marketer and blogger – lover of travel, morning coffee, family time, belly laughs, good friends and uninterrupted showers! Follow her on twitter @DeannaCMiller