But Mommm: Definition

by guest blogger, Deanna Cogdon Miller

The alarm went off at 5:15am. I rolled out of bed, threw on my yoga pants, tiptoed down the hall and walked out the door. A quick drive-through for a coffee and within minutes I was walking through the grocery store filling my cart with everything we’d need for the coming days (remembering things like compost liners, the birthday present required for a party on the weekend, how close our ketchup bottle was getting to empty and the fact that our three year old had outgrown most of her socks). Although the store was relatively empty, I met up with two other women in the refrigerator section. As we all reached for children’s yogurt products, we started laughing about the ridiculousness of grocery shopping at such a crazy hour. As I jokingly asked them why we were there so early, one of the women looked at me with a big smile and said, “Because we’re Moms, that’s why.”

The dictionary defines “mother” as “the female parent”. Although there is no arguing with that statement, I can say with great certainty that you can ask any Mom out there what the word mother means and they will not answer with those three little words. That’s because a Mom is made up of a number of very important roles. Picture a chart with ‘Mom’ in the box at the top. Connecting to it are three more boxes that say Inventory Manager, Social Coordinator and Emotional Support. It doesn’t stop there – connecting to each of those are many more boxes that are in constant flux as you hit different ages and stages of life.

The 1/3 Inventory Manager has overall responsibility for everything going on the house. This tends to be things like children’s clothing (knowing what fits, what doesn’t, what needs to be packed away, what needs to be given back to people and when it’s time to move up a shoe size). This talent for inventory extends into the kitchen with an understanding of what’s needed, what’s running low and what is going to cause a major problem if it runs out. This same skillset is what enables Moms to hear questions like, “Where’s my little blue clip?” and provide answers like, ”I think I saw it inside the empty paper towel roll that is in the basement closet zipped into the big front pocket of the purple suitcase.”

The 1/3 Social Coordinator keeps the family calendar up to date and on track. This part of Mom tends to register kids for lessons, coordinate activity times, ensure all important kid things are attended and book babysitters when required. This is also the part that volunteers to make cakes for the spring fair, go door to door selling popcorn or cookies and solicits family and colleagues to buy tickets for fundraising events. Most of the time, this part of Mom is responsible for the planning and execution of children’s birthday parties. This includes, but is not limited to, finding venues, creating invitations, figuring out activities and of course, decorating cakes and stuffing loot bags until 1am. The Mommy Social Coordinator has the incredible ability to map the entire day out in her brain and pack everything required to make the day run smoothly (as well as a few extras in case of unforeseen circumstances).

The 1/3 Emotional Support does what Moms are best at – unconditional love. Everything from hugs, kisses, cuddles, attention and a listening ear whenever required.  This is the Mom part that goes to bat for their child, supports them in everything they do, helps fulfill their dreams, thinks about them constantly, lets them make mistakes and helps them learn from it when they do. This is also the Mom part that can stay strong and focused when helping their child through something and then retreats to a quiet corner and lets the tears flow when nobody is looking.

After our first was born I remember telling my Mom how I always knew that I was loved growing up but until I became a Mom, I didn’t understand the sheer magnitude of that love. How could I ever have predicted what it would feel like to watch my heart running around outside of my body on a daily basis? It’s indescribable and indefinable. A good friend of mine summed it up perfectly. “Define Mom? Impossible. Just like it’s impossible to define ‘ life’ and ‘love’.” Coincidence? I think not.

Deanna is a Mom of three, wife, marketer and blogger – lover of travel, morning coffee, family time, belly laughs, good friends and uninterrupted showers! Follow her on twitter @DeannaCMiller