But Mommm: The One-Liner

by guest blogger, Deanna Cogdon Miller

As soon as our first daughter started talking, I realized that having kids was going to add a pile of unexpected laughter to our lives. I immediately started writing down her ‘one- liners’ and began adding her sister’s to the list a few years later. I thought I’d depart from the usual blog format this week and share a few of them in hopes of starting your week with a smile.  Enjoy!

 

“Mom what happens if Santa has to pee while he’s flying in his sleigh?” “Hmmmm good question – I guess he just pees at people’s houses while he’s dropping off presents.” “Well Mom I think we better leave him a note and tell him to pee downstairs – I don’t want that guy up here.” – 3 yrs

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After commenting on how full your belly looked, you looked at me and said – “Mom, just so you know, there’s no baby in there I just ate too much!” – 2yrs

“Mmm whip cream…mmmmmmm whip cream…mmmmmmmmmmm whip cream…mommy, i don’t like whip cream!” – 2 yrs

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“Mom, when I grow up I’m going to be a teenager and have strange friends!” – 3 yrs

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As you all dropped me off at work, your sister threw a tantrum because she wanted to come with me. You tried to soothe her by saying, “Mommy is going to work. You don’t want to go there. it’s not much fun. You just sit in a chair all day.” – 4 yrs

“‎Mom, the parade today had lots of soldiers. I liked it but it would be better if it had princesses. BUT the soldiers did have lots of gold medals – they must be really good skiers and skaters!” – 3 yrs

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“Mommy – in what store did you and Daddy get the ingredients to make me?” – 2 yrs

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‎”Mommy when my baby brother grows up he is going to be so so so lucky.” “Why is that?” “Because…he’ll get to eat corn flakes!” – 2 yrs

“Hey mom, i know something.” “What’s that?”…to which you replied very confidently…”Realized rhymes with celery.” – 2ys

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“Mommy when I grow up and I’m a big girl like you I’m going to feed my sister from my boobs too.” – 3 yrs

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After saying no to a request for McDonalds tonight (which led to a mega-tantrum), I said “what do you really think you’ll get by acting like that?” Suddenly the crying stopped and you very calmly said, “Actually mom, I’m hoping you’ll change your mind!” – 3 yrs

 

Deanna is a Mom of three, wife, marketer and blogger – lover of travel, morning coffee, family time, belly laughs, good friends and uninterrupted showers! Follow her on twitter @DeannaCMiller