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Christmas Spirit Forced Down Yer Gullet

To enter into the Christmas season requires a certain sort of ambiance, the type of mood you achieve at Halloween by listening to Hellbilly Deluxe and watching Ghostbusters for the umpteenth time. Unlike Halloween, you’re pretty much aurally assaulted when Christmas approaches. Malls subscribe to some sort of never-ending satellite feed of holiday tunes that usually involves Bob Denver, radio stations play obnoxious covers of “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”, and churches, full to the brim for the first time since Easter, break out the carols.

The interweb isn’t free from Christmas cheer, either, because bloggers like me like to post their favourite Christmas songs. Here’s a few that I will torture my co-workers with for the days to come:

Everclear – I Will Be Hating You For Christmas
Lyric sample: Thanks for the Christmas card / I don’t wanna hear about your new job now / I don’t wanna hear about your new boyfriend / I don’t wanna hear about it all working out for you
Recommended: if you’re single and bitter or just like the ’90s.

Bing Crosby and David Bowie – Little Drummer Boys/Peace on Earth
Lyric sample: “I could even have a go at ‘White Christmas’!” / “You too, huh!”
Recommended: if you’re human. No one can deny the goodness of the collaboration!

The Ramones – Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want To Fight Tonight)
Lyric sample: I love you and you love me / And that’s the way it’s got to be / I loved you from the start / ‘Cause Christmas ain’t the time / For breaking each other’s heart
Recommended: for New Yorkers, Stephen King, and Langly from The Lone Gunmen.

Sobeys Grocery Stores – Star of Christmas
Lyric sample: Bells are ringing/ Children singing / That warm Sobeys festive touch
Recommended: for Atlantic Canadians who could not avoid this song for years.

Star Wars Christmas Special Song
Lyric sample: We celebrate a day of peace / A day of harmony / A day of joy we all can share
Recommended: for this guy.

Muppets (and Michael Caine) – It Feels Like Christmas
Lyric sample: “You’re a little absent-minded, spirit!” / “No, I’m a LARGE absent-minded spirit!”
Recommended: FOR ME! I love Muppets. This is the song where Scrooge begins to learn about Christmas! Bonus Muppet track: Fozzie and the Snowman.

Twisted Sister – A Heavy Metal Christmas

Lyric sample: On my heavy metal Christmas / My true love gave to me / 4 quarts of Jack / 3 studded belts / 2 pairs of spandex pants / And a tattoo of Ozzy!
Recommended: for Wayne and Garth.

And finally, the very necessary…

Run DMC – Christmas in Hollis
Lyric sample: Took out the license / And it cold said “Santa Claus” / A million dollars in it / Cold hundreds of G’s / Enough to buy a boat / And a matching car with ease
Recommended: if you’re dope, fly, fresh and are rockin’ your Adidas

Send me your Christmas tunes, internet! What’s on heavy rotation this year?

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