Dexter: Dead inside

Oh Dexter. I’ve been eagerly awaiting the fifth season of Dexter since the moment the intense, suspenseful and heartbreaking fourth season concluded. I’ll take this opportunity to warn you now: If you don’t watch Dexter, you shouldn’t read about Dexter. It’s a fantastic show and spoilers will do just that – spoil it.
OK, now that that’s over with – how did you guys feel about last night’s premiere? I loved it. Much like the premiere episode of Grey’s Anatomy, the heavy sadness that haunted this episode of Dexter was the perfect followup to a shocking and traumatic finale. 
Dexter’s feelings in the wake of his wife’s death are the most complex we’ve ever seen from the character. At first, he didn’t feel anything other than guilt. He felt guilty that he’d let this happen to Rita and he felt guilty that he couldn’t display the appropriate emotions. But throughout the course of the episode, we saw him privately deal with that grief. And it was fascinating. 
One of the biggest parts of this episode was something that you had probably already seen if you watched the season five Dexter trailer that was released this summer – Dexter telling the police “It was me” when they arrive at the scene of the crime. Yet even though I knew it was coming, I couldn’t help but moan “Dexter, nooooo” when it happened. We’ve spent four years justifying Dexter Morgan’s pastime, and the idea of him being pinned with the murder of his wife is sickening. Sure, he’s a monster – but he’s not that kind of monster.
Deb picked up the slack as Dexter shut down, planning Rita’s funeral and taking care of little Harrison. She also had a stress-fueled fling with Quinn after trying to clean up the crime scene. This budding relationship will make for an incredibly suspenseful season as Quinn starts to put together the pieces that point to Dexter as the murderer. I know he didn’t do it, but it looks like he did. The FBI already thinks so, Quinn thinks so…it won’t take much before Dexter is officially being investigated. 
The most painful and horrific scene of the episode didn’t involve blood or violence, though. It was watching Dexter try to break the news to Astor, Coady and Rita’s parents. He let them stay at Disneyworld another day rather than calling them and telling them to come home immediately. He meant well, but it was a bad decision. Then he awkwardly and stiffly told them a man had come into the house and killed their mother all while wearing Mickey Mouse ears. 
Based on his own feelings and Astor’s reaction to the news, Dexter began to make plans to leave Miami. He asked Deb to take care of Harrison like he’s her own. He burned his belongings. He didn’t show for his FBI interview – raising suspicions even further. For a moment, I thought Dexter might have been considering suicide. What turned Dexter around was an appearance from Harry after Dexter had brutally bludgeoned a man to death in a dank washroom. It was disgusting and totally unlike Dexter, but it was also, as Harry told him, “the first human thing I’ve seen you do since she died.” With an agonizing scream, Dexter realized that he was not better off without the kids, and they weren’t better off without him. He returned to the funeral and gave the eulogy. 
So where do we go from here? Dexter is obviously incredibly damaged. Will there be more unplanned, barbaric killings? Will we see more flashbacks of Rita? The flashbacks to their first date added extra poignancy and sadness to the episode. How will Dexter cope with single fatherhood? And how long will the FBI (and Quinn) investigate him? So many questions, I’m tempted to watch the episode again. What did you think?


Robbie Burns….

France swap