Ally: I’ve been hearing the word “meta” tossed around a lot lately. I think I’ve inserted it in a few sentences on Friday night get-togethers with the neighbours, “That’s so meta! hardy har har” *sips wine*.

Fact; I don’t really have a sweet clue what it means (Ignorance really is bliss! Thanks for asking!).

I came across Lady Gaga’s new promotional piece for her perfume “Fame”.

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Meta: A term, especially in art, used to characterize something that is characteristically self-referential.

Is she meta-ing me? Am I being meta’ed?

Yes, I do work in the field of communications.

This is all to say that I fear my time on the Lady Gaga bandwagon is coming to an end. I know, I said this before. This time I mean it.

Fame? Really? How is this different than say…this…

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What? Are you going to talk to me about art direction here?

On an aside, when “researching” Paris Hilton perfume I found that some dear soul had executed a perfume commercial for what appears to be a class assignment.

I don’t know much about The Internets, but L-A has told me that shit lives forever on the webs. This is why neither I or the lady in the above video will ever run for public office (and be successful).

And then Lady Gaga had to go and make some art house film shit for her “scent”.

Right, then.

Look, here’s where I leave this discussion; Lady Gaga, I applaud you for living out your dreams. Clearly, this is what you want to do and even more clearly, people are buying it. I think you’re a good person, and I’d be down with doing some tequila shots with you (only to end L-A secret text messages with photos of your outfit), but I gotta tell you that you’ve lost me. Until you come out with something that equals Marry the Night. You won back my heart with that video.

 

L-A: Oh poor honey boo boo child. Of all the perfumes you could make a pretend ad for and share with the interwebs, why Designer Imposter by Paris Hilton? Skies the limit when it’s your class project, kids. Don’t settle for Paris Hilton when you could do something fancy and Parisian. Like that limited edition bottle of Muguet by Guerlain that’ll set you back $600.

But back to Gaga.

Over. It.

Ooooh…she’s got little men crawling all over her privates. Oooooh…edgy.

No. It is not edgy.

And her description of how it smells?

“like an expensive hooker,” she added, “[Blood and semen] is in the perfume but it doesn’t smell like it. You just get sort of the after feeling of sex from the semen and the blood is sort of primal. And the blood was taken from my own blood sample so it’s like a sense of having me on your skin.”

Gag me with a spoon.

I could go on and on about how over Lady Gaga I am or how uninterested I am in another celebrity perfume (and that includes Bieber’s Girlfriend. Which is meant to smell like a teenage girl? Or what girls think they should smell like if they are to be the girlfriend of this pop star who is apparently “hot, ready and legal” ….god Rolling Stone. Creepy much?)

But instead of a rant, I leave it to Cher Horowitz to succinctly describe my feelings (as she so often does):