Extremely Mom Enough

I don’t make it a habit to publicly proclaim my opinion on something without educating myself as much as possible on the matter. For example, despite already feeling like I have surmised an opinion on the new it-book 50 Shades of Grey, you won’t find me blogging to the world about it (yet) because I have not read the book. Today however, because it is Mother’s Day, I am going to make a slight exception.

You see, I haven’t read the current issue of Time magazine yet. All I have seen is the highly contentious cover image and the list of articles. But unlike many other Moms, I do plan to both purchase a copy and read it, likely in full. As I have not yet done this, all I can comment on are my first impressions, but seeing as it is these first impressions that have so many mothers up in arms about the edition, I might as well chime in as well.

From what I can tell, Time magazine is up to its metaphorical nipples in anger from Moms and shock from the general public. I first saw the cover on my Twitter stream when jokes started flying from people who are certainly funny but who aren’t parents. Shortly thereafter I started seeing the hurt and anger from mothers who felt like their parenting was being called into question. For the general public, the image of the suckling three-year-old provides the shock value. For mothers the outrage stems from the headline “Are You Mom Enough?”

I have read blog post after article about why this headline is out of line: It ignites the Mommy Wars right before Mother’s Day; It makes Moms feel like they are less than enough; It doesn’t adequately describe the realities of Attachment Parenting; It is just sensationalism used to sell magazines so we should all just stop talking about it.

Maybe I’m not reading the right things, but I have yet to read about someone who shares my opinion on the matter.

When I first saw the magazine cover, I wasn’t outraged. I wasn’t hurt. I certainly wasn’t shocked. I was interested. And as I have been watching the sparked outrage ignite, I’ve realized this magazine cover doesn’t phase me in the least.

Shortly before Gavin was born, my husband asked me if I missed being at work. I told him that I recognized that I am a very capable person who does my job well, but it is a job that could be performed well by many people. I can leave work at the end of the day feeling like I have done a good job, but I have never left feeling as though I made a great impact on the world. On the other hand, I am passionate about my role as a mother. Each day, the little things I do for my family impacts the world in such a huge way because I am raising children. Each day I love, I teach, I nurture, and I form. I am literally creating people. And no matter how the day ends, I know I am a good mother. I was always meant to be a mother, and gosh darn it – I do an awesome job. This role – this mothering thing – is the one thing in my life that I am confident I am good at.

Although I devoured parenting books during my first pregnancy, I stopped reading them as soon as my first child was born. I quickly realized that I already knew what to do. My instincts as a mother were so much stronger than anything a book could tell me. I don’t subscribe completely to any particular parenting theology because I realized that with all the love in my heart and with the support of my husband, I have all I need to be the best parent my children could ever require.

So when I look at this Time Magazine cover, I am more interested in what it says about our society than what it is saying about me personally as a mother. I am interested in what society deems as “normal” parenting. I am interested in how Attachment Parenting is perceived by the general public. I am kind of giddy that breastfeeding is being shown, even though it is meant to shock. I am interested in what the magazine has to say and in what the response is.

But I am definitely not upset. I am already confident that I am Mom enough. I know that I practice Extreme Parenting because I am extremely passionate about my kids. And I hope that every Mom will feel this confidence as she parents to the best of her abilities and to the extremes of her love.

No matter how you do it, Mothering is extreme. The love we have for our children is enough.

Happy Mother’s Day!

 

Although I don’t share in the outrage, I have found some blog posts on this subject particularly appropriate. If you are interested in reading more, please check out these links:

The Attachment Parenting Paradox from Conscience Parenting

Time Magazine and “Extreme Parenting” by Sarah at Nurshable

It’s TIME to Stop Fighting the Mommy Wars by Katherine Stone

So, What do you think? Are you shocked at the image of the three-year-old breastfeeding? Do you think I should be outraged at the headline? Do you feel Mom Enough?

 

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