L-A: I was going to write you an awesome post starring my glitter shoes and show you pictures of them from different angles. Sadly (or maybe lucky?) for you, my computer died on my birthday and all my lovely pictures of shoes are locked in there. As is a podcast that had the potential to be at least mildly entertaining. So that leaves me with …. um. I don’t know what that leaves me with. A whole lot of nothing I guess. HOLY CRAP! BIRTHDAY MIRACLE! My computer turned on this morning (after unplugging it for the night). I don’t understand what happened and I don’t care so long as my computer is on. (Sorry about the post, it was written during the Dead Computer Scare of 2011).
Let’s hit up my favourites:
America’s Birthday Gift to Me
Thank you, America!
You’re watching Parks & Recreation, right? Because it just might be the funniest show EVER. I’m not kidding. I might even misuse literally, mix it with that hyperbole and say that this is literally the funniest shoe EVER. With Community in close second. (oh wow NBC…you have found a way to make me watch you again on Thursday nights. I haven’t done that since the episode where Monica and Chandler hooked up. No word of a lie. So well played, NBC, well played).
Golden Globes
wanh, wanh to everyone who complained about Ricky Gervais making inappropriate jokes. Like Hollywood didn’t expect that shit.
As you know, we tune in mainly for the red carpet. We live for that shit. This year didn’t bring me anything amazing (no, I don’t care what you say about Olivia Wilde. I didn’t love love love her dress. I just thought it was kind of nice). I went between boredom and full on hate. But that’s okay. Because snarking on celebrity dresses is way more fun than just saying how much I love them. Anyone can say a dress is “fantastic!” or “stunning!”. How do I know this? Because that’s all the hosts of red carpets can say to describe every single dress. So here are my favourite hate ons:
Award: Why are you even here? Who bought your nomination?
So, while we appreciated receiving this photo from the folks at Jennifer Behr (maker of the belt, which is cute. And maybe could have been loaned to Tilda Swinton), I can’t say I like this dress. Or the giant Carrie Bradshaw (circa season I don’t care) bun. At least the dress acts as a crumb catcher during dinner. Or a place to hide dinner rolls in case you are hungry between parties. Or hide the Godiva chocolates from Paul Giamatti.
Award: I get it already. You just play a prim and proper 60s housewife on TV.
Like a few other dresses on the carpet, this is one that might look better left on the runway. On January Jones, it just looked weird, uncomfortable, drafty and slutty.
Award: Anne of Green Gables would take you down for half that dress.
Half of that dress would be coveted by Anne Shirley and her love for the puffy sleeve. I’m not sure how Anne would feel about the colour (what were Anne’s thoughts on pink dresses with red/auburn hair?), but it’s okay by me. I just wish this dress had one less puffy sleeve. Right now it looks like a bit of a Project Runway mess.
- Award: Holy shit, you brought out the crazy! You are this year’s swan dress.
She brought out the serious crazy, but I love her for it. The shoes? the hair? the dress? all together they created a crazy fashion bomb and it was a much needed break from all the fantastic! nudes or the stunning! emerald green dresses. Shit like this makes it fun to be a fashion blogger, so please, bring it. Bring on the crazy.
Now for a video. I’m not going to go with crappy pop music this week. The announcement that the Pixies are playing in Halifax in April means I’m going to go with awesome:
I have no idea how I will afford tickets on my sad student budget, but if I have to go with black market organ sales, I might consider it.
