First Date

I don’t think I just speak for the Moms here.  I speak for everyone. I know that my search for more time didn’t just surface when I birthed a child. I’ve always wanted more time for this, for that, for him, for them, for me.

And I just never seem to find it.

The other day, The Husband Unit summed up our typical arguments. “The only time we ever fight,” he said, “is when you don’t get around to doing something, or when you don’t like me” (the latter, a tongue in cheek reference to a recent bout of frustration on my part. I pretty much always like him).

He’s so right. I am the worst at getting things done. If anyone ever got around to crowning procrastinators, I would be the reigning Queen. Unfortunately, the only people who care are procrastinators themselves, so I’ll never get my coronation. I’m so good at putting things off, thinking that another time will be more convenient. Dan thinks a ToDo List would help. But all I would have to do is write the task down to feel my sense of accomplishment for the day.

Lately, I’ve been feeling really convicted about one of those daily ToDos that I just keep putting off.

I’ve been going to Bible Study for a year. Every week I would pray for strength, discipline and time management skills so that I could be diligent in my quiet time with God.

God worked.

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. -Philippians 1:6, emphasis mine.

I procrastinated.

I had a baby to take care of. He takes all of my time. I didn’t get a moment of quiet, and when I did, I was always anticipating that moment to be taken from me at any second.

Excuses.

Now that my maternity leave is coming to an end, I told God that it would be silly to get into the habit of doing something now, since my entire life will be changing in two weeks. (I told you, I’m a professional procrastinator).

Excuses.

So God worked harder.

I read this. And this. And God spoke to me.

So, I made a decision. I did what I knew I had to do.

I realized that there is one time of the day that I always have to myself: nap time. I often spend Cameron’s naps getting all the things done that I can’t do with him awake. I will shower. Or I will clean. Or I will blog. Or I will nap myself.

But I can’t deny that it is my only quiet time.

So on Sunday night I cleaned. I cleaned and I cleaned and I cleaned. There were no dirty dishes left in our apartment. Cameron’s toys were put away. And miracle of all miracles: the kitchen table was cleared of all most of our photography equipment.

Yesterday, nap time finally came around. I swear, Cameron fought that nap harder than he has fought a nap in a while. I thought he was going to thwart my whole plan. Finally, he fell asleep. Since the house was cleaned so thoroughly the night before, I took five minutes to clean up the mess brought on by the morning. I brewed a cup of coffee and I grabbed half of a chocolate croissant from Two If By Sea Cafe. Then, I flicked off the computer screens and sat down at the table with my bible and a study book.

And God and I had a date. And we talked about our relationship.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. – Jeremiah 29:13

I can’t wait for nap time.