L-A: I think I can safely say that our favourite thing this week is the dress code from Cornell’s Pi Phi Sorority. In fact, it may end up being my favourite thing all year. Bitch is on the money about some things. And sometimes she’s just bitchy. And that is why we love her. She is a bitch after our own hearts. We may nominate her to be our first intern.
Those are just two of the pages of awesomeness. You need to read them all (if you haven’t already).
Some favourites? She points out that casual chic does not include “sky-high hooker heels” and that a “no” for business casual is “tacky/cheapo/pleather. Don’t mess with me.” I’m also in love with the makeup advice:
No: Sultry. It’s noon people And these are girls, not laxers [I had to look that up. Apparently a laxer is a lacrosse player]. No need to seduce them with caked on black eye makeup. And if anyone likes to try that, it’s me, don’t get me wrong. Just saying.
I’m pretty sure 20 year old Ally wrote that. I could go on forever with the bon mots from that manifesto. Let’s just say I love it all. I may not agree with it all, but I love the whole six pages.
And unlike a lot of websites out there, I’m not going to mock her or criticize her authoritarian fashion rules. Instead, I’m going to defend the Bitch (and I mean bitch in a good way. In the way that I call Ally a bitch and praise her use of the bitchface).
This dress code is pretty strict, but I’m guessing that everyone who has joined this Pi Phi sorority or is thinking of joining, is probably okay with it. Remember, this was leaked. This is not her fashion tips for everyone everywhere. Sure, she probably judges your outfits silently, but I do that too (seriously. Every bus ride I play “what would Stacey and Clinton say” in my head). And that’s okay. You probably judge her ¾ length sleeves and Tory Burch flats. She doesn’t care what you think, so why should you care? Let’s get over ourselves already. If you want to be in a sorority that badly, you’ll dress the part. If the dress code isn’t for you, then you probably didn’t want to pledge that sorority in the first place. And now an open letter to whoever wrote those dress codes:
Dear Queen of Pi Phi Fashion: if you happen to stumble across our blog, can I just say that we think you’re awesome. We’d like to be BFFs and have you guest blog. We are not kidding or making fun of you. Your grammar is kind of iffy, but we’ll let that slide for now. xoxo. L-A & Ally
AllyG: For the record, I have ALWAYS said that everyone should own a pair of Tory Burch flats. I would also like to note her comment on denim leggings. Now, I hesitate to bring this up because you and I have differed on this topic in the past, but bitch is right.
Denim-legging” is appropriate as long as it’s done right: aka, not from American Apparel and worn with chic, cool chunky boots over them and a longer top. NO camel toe.
Anyways! I have chick, chunky boots! And I often wear them over my leggings!
“Blazers: Yes Please! I love a casual top with a boyfriend blazer over it!”
I also love that she makes it clear that heels mean ”PRETTY HEELS” (caps are her’s). I take this to mean that if you wear UGLY HEELS you can take your mani and pedi right the eff out of Ithaca along with your busted shoes.
I’m starting to wonder if I wrote this myself one night after a few too many dirty martinis.
Tears. Tears are streaming down my face. “There is nothing inappropriate about a dirty martini, despite its suggestive name!” Bitch must not have hung out with me in my early twenties. Or like, last week.
Another fave this week is Madonna’s ads for Dolce and Gabbana…
El Jeffe noted that these resemble our kitchen curtains…which I hate and need to replace but that’s a whole other story…still, I like this.
Perhaps I like this one because it reminds me of the first two months of BabyG’s life. This is sort of how I managed to get some lunch into my stomach. Mind you, I was not wearing Dolce and Gabbana, but I still looked hot. Dirty, but hot.
And now, for the crappy pop video of the week, I bring you Rascal Flatts singing What Hurts the Most. There’s a little “story” before the video starts. Oh the DRAMZ!
You know L-A loves me because she actually sits through the crappy pop videos I post. She clicks on them!
Don’t forget to check us out on twitter this Sunday when we get drunk live tweet the Grammys! It’s like drunk dialing, but for the WHOLE INTERNETS to see!
[L-A: I do. I do click on the videos. I don’t know why, but I do. I even clicked to watch this one on youtube because the record company doesn’t allow embedding. That one was only mildly painful compared to the others. The dramz was way overwrought and gave me embarrassment cringes for the actors. But what hurt most was that Mr. Rascal Flatts had frosted tips. Dear Mr. Flatts: that hair hasn’t been cool since they heyday of N’Sync. Please see a stylist pronto. Or maybe a barber and ask for the number 2 razor. thanks!]