Well y’all, it’s been quite a season.There have been more downs than ups, and after a lot of spotty* storytelling and some terrible plot choices, I likely won’t be blogging Glee next season. It’s moving to Thursday nights, and that means it’s moving to the place on my DVR when I watch it half asleep on Saturday mornings. And for those of you who plan on giving up Glee altogether next season (I may still join you), I think you’ll find it pretty easy since last night’s episode very much felt like a series finale.

*”Spotty” is too kind – consider that my graduation gift to you, Glee.

But enough about me. This is about the Glee characters that we once really cared about, and the fact that they’re graduating.

The show basically opened with Schu singing “Forever Young” to the kids, which mostly just reminded me of diapers.

You Shoulda Put A Ring On It

Luckily, we quickly moved on to a sweet moment between Kurt and Burt, who have so often been the heart of this series. Burt’s graduating present to Kurt was that he’d learned the “Single Ladies” dance, and the flashback to when we first met Kurt was very much needed. I remembered how much I’d liked his character, and also felt really, really thankful that that scene required bringing on Heather Morris, who’d done that dance with Beyonce, who ended up being one of my favorite characters on the show. Oh Glee, you used to be so great.

Kurt sang “I’ll Remember” by Madonna to say goodbye to the rest of New Directions.

You’ve Got The Music In You, Don’t Let Go

The next segment focused on Santana, which made me happy since she’s bomb. And, Gloria Estefan was guest starring as her mama. She told her mom she wanted to go to New York instead of taking the cheerleading scholarship in Kentucky.

Mercedes is going to L.A. to be a backup singer for an indie label? Mike is going to dance school? Brittany is flunking high school? OK, that one isn’t a surprise. She has a o.o GPA. I can’t believe Santana was surprised.

I expected to hate “You Only Get What You Give” because it heavily featured Finn, but I actually freakin’ loved it. It reminded me of junior high, and graduation episodes tend to heavily rely on such feelings of nostalgia.

Some Are Dead and Some Are Living

You know what I’d forgotten? That Finn was auditioning for the Actor’s Studio. You know what else I forgot? That Schu planted the pot in Finn’s locker to get him to join glee club. He fessed up to Finn, but Finn didn’t care. In fact, he thought it was cool. It was a weird moment. Also? I’d forgotten literally everything about Finn’s dad and the army. So that conversation with his mom kind of came out of left field.

“In My Life” by the Beatles was my high school music teacher’s favorite song to sing at graduation time, and I always found it very morbid. Don’t get me wrong – it’s a beautiful song. But kind of dark. The juniors sang it to the seniors (plus Mercedes, who is presumably leaving for L.A.) and it was quite nice. But I couldn’t bring myself to care about the Finn storyline.

Poor Quinn. She was really dealt the worst lot of any of the Glee characters, so I’m at least a little glad to see her ending on a relatively positive note. Even though I think it’s stupid that she went from being in a wheelchair to not needing a cane or limping at all. I tripped and cut my knee and limped for a week.

Quinn wanted to leave McKinley by giving back a little, which meant telling Rachel they’d visit each other in New York and New Haven, helping Puck pass his geography test (and kissing him for old times sake?) and dry cleaning her Cheerios uniform for Sue. And even though I didn’t need the reminder that Quinn once got an ironic Ryan Seacrest tattoo (that took place in the darkest timeline), the moment she shared with Sue was sweet.

Glory Days

So, everyone graduated. Including Mercedes, because one quick line of dialogue delivered by Sam is an apt way to send off a character who’s been sadly underused for three years. Have fun in L.A., girlfriend, I hope this means you’re leaving the show to star in a movie musical or something.

Because Glee wants a New York spinoff and knows it’ll suck without Santana, Gloria Estefan gave her an envelope of cash that had been meant for college tuition so that she could follow her dreams in New York. Maybe she and Rachel can be roomies!

Finn didn’t get in to acting school, because neither would Cory Monteith. Kurt didn’t get in to NYADA, because this show is stupid and likes to create drama – come on, anyone who auditioned in tight gold pants would automatically get admitted. Rachel did get into NYADA, because she’s the one who bombed her audition and isn’t life unfair? And also because they were never going to bring Whoopie Goldberg back for the Nationals episode unless it meant that Rachel would in fact be redeemed.

Rachel decided to defer NYADA because it’s the most unlikely thing her character would ever do, and Glee prides itself on shoddy character development and writing choices that baffle the minds of anyone who’s been regularly watching the show. But, Finn does have some common sense in his peewee brain, and he made sure that Rachel went to New York instead of tying the knot, because teen marriage is for suckers and pregnant Southerners.

“Are you breaking up with me?”
“I’m setting you free.”

HA HA HA! Oh, was that moment not supposed to make me burst into laughter? Oops. Sorry. Oh, and then Finn joined the army to avenge his father. Or honor him, or whatever. It was hard to follow, mostly because thinking about the army and avenging things took my mind off Cory Monteith’s stiff delivery of his lines and helped it drift off to a happier place, where Chris Evans was modeling his latest Captain America uniform for me. Don’t worry, I was back from fantasy land in time to appreciate how the moment provided Rachel’s best opportunity yet to cry while singing. So! Much! Emotion! In Her Face!

But you know what I really want to know? How Finn could break the news that he’s heading to a military base in Georgia while they’re at a train station and no one sang “Midnight Train To Georgia”. No one even made a Hogwarts joke! Amateurs.

Well guys, that’s all she wrote. What did y’all think of the episode? I felt these final three episodes were probably better than anything else Glee did this season, but that doesn’t make me want to stay on board – I’m just glad I’m not semi-parting ways with this show on a bad note. Glee already has such a hard time maintaining all the different storylines it attempts, I can’t imagine things will get better if/when the show is splitting time between Lima and New York. Thoughts?

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