Go home J.Crew, you’re drunk

L-A: Dear J.Crew, we’ve had our ups and downs. I’ve lately been a bit sad I can’t afford a lot of your pretty sweaters. I miss the days when I could make drunk impulse purchases online, even if I probably shouldn’t have bought the sweater in beige (we learn which colours look good on us the hard way).

But even though it’s tough to be a moderately preppy lady at your prices, I still love you when bring the style. I can envy the looks from afar as M.Obama wears it so well.

But that’s not our problem today. My problem today is you went on a bender and tried to sell me this.




I’m sorry. What? A bedazzled baseball cap? Are you serious?

Oh. You are. Well, how much?


You want me to pre-order it for $144? What? So I can be the first of my friends to own this?

Apparently, the fancy baseball cap is my new secret weapon accessory. I’m still working my head around that one. I’m also working my head around where I’m supposed to wear this? Perhaps to dress up my outfit for a hangover brunch with friends? The sparkles on my hat might distract them from the tales of my bad decisions, like buying bedazzled baseball cap after half a box of wine.

But the kicker, J.Crew. Oh, the real kicker is this number.


And that you want me to pay $348 for that one. I know. I know. It’s calf hair or something and well that should cost more than than my cotton Dodgers hat.  And I’m not saying no to the baseball cap as a look in general. Or you bedazzling your own baseball cap. But J.Crew? You’re drunk. Go home.

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