Judging the Pretty at the Golden Globes 2013

Ally: It was not a good day for Toddler G to get sick or for L-A’s internet to crap out. However we’re professionals so we must push through. Here is our recap of what we loved and what gave us the sads.

Taylor Swift

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Taylor Swift in Donna Karan Atelier. It wasn’t perfect, but it was different. If it took a boy bander breaking her heart for her to toss out the ruffles then I say it was worth it. While I loved the dress (particularly the back), I hated the hair. It made her look matronly, as if she told her hair stylist, “Make me look old-person-like”. More volume, I think.

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Also, Tina Fey, maybe too soon?

Claire Danes

For Danes it was the make-up that was off. Also, I loved catching the massive bitch face she threw at someone who bumped into her while E! was capturing her walking the red carpet. I didn’t get that photo, but I did find one of her dress, which I thought was lovely.

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It was a perfect choice for post-baby. The Versace wrap-around wasn’t too tight around the middle and the ruching around the waist/hips was very flattering (I’m not being sarcastic).

The raccoon eyes freaked me out though. I wasn’t sure why she went there. Was it to cover the “I’ve been up all night with baby” eye-bags? If yes, I take back my snark. I get it, Claire.

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Jennifer Lawrence

L-A and I both agreed on this one. Nice work with the red, awful business with your lady parts. Whatever meeting your girls were called to, they didn’t have time to properly get ready.

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El Jeffe also noted that the waist made her look “all prego and shit”, which brought about an awkward silence since I AM PREGNANT and extremely hormonal about being all “prego and shit”.

Zooey Deschanel

Speaking of red, let’s speak about Zooey Deschanel. Herein lays an example of why you all prefer L-A to me (one of many). Lady drives me  nuts with her unicorns and puppies bullshit. Fuck that hipster noise. Fuck it. CAN YOU EVER CHANGE YOUR LOOK EVER? It’s worse than Taylor Swift really.

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Of course you have a little string of pearls BECAUSE YOU ARE SO PRECIOUS.

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Rage.

Lucy Liu

L-A really liked Lucy’s dress, and I have to agree. Someone on Access Hollywood came on last week to talk about how bold prints were the new black, and Access Hollywood knows everything. 

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L-A adds (her internet is wonky so she messaged me about this) that this was a surprise favourite for her, as much as of a surprise as how she keeps watching her in Elementary (what show is this?).

Sienna Miller

Sienna brought the eyerolls for both of us, which is weird for me but  as much a tradition for L-A as ham at Easter.

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She was wearing Erdem, which..fine…The cut at her shoulders was not flattering at all (I’m not sure who looks good with boxy shoulders, actually…Gisele Bunchen maybe?). What made broughteth the vomits to my mouth was the wearing of both earrings in one ear. I think L-A would refer to this as trying to make fetch happen.

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This is all we have for today due to a sick kid at home and L-A’s computer being busted. We’d love to hear your thoughts! Even if you think we’re wrong (sort of).