Modern Family: Happy Retirement, Clive Bixby

I love a show that can do a running joke, and Modern Family‘s decision to bring back Clive Bixby for another Valentine’s Day was perfect. Who doesn’t love that national man of mystery?

After Claire suffered the most humiliating Valentine’s Day ever last year when her trench coat got stuck in the elevator (with nothing on underneath), the tables were turned. This year, it was Phil’s turn to be embarrassed. Phil is already comedy gold as Clive because he’s trying so hard to be sexy and seductive but is really just awkward and hilarious, so putting him in an embarrassing situation on top of that was brilliant.

Phil and Claire went through their sexy strangers meeting routine, and then Claire gave Phil the hotel key card. But it got switched and Phil ended up in someone else’s room, spread out almost completely naked on the bed with flowers and champagne. Needless to say, the occupant of the room freaked out when she came in and Phil probably won’t be allowed back to the hotel ever again. Phil and Claire retired their “Clive” and “Julianna” characters and snuck home to just be with each other.

Phil and Claire’s storyline was probably my favorite, but Mitch and Cam’s plot was a close second. They couldn’t agree on who Mitch’s assistant had a not-so-secret crush on. Each guy, of course, assumed it was him. I like when Mitch and Cam get kind of competitive, and overall it worked. I kind of wish the assistant hadn’t resigned, though, because it would have been a really funny ongoing joke. That’s a small complaint, though. I continue to love Mitch and Cam’s storylines because they’re one of the rare couples who can bicker without ever letting you forget how much they love each other.

Jay and Gloria’s storyline fell a little flat for me because it seemed to take too long to get to the punchline. Gloria was upset that Jay hadn’t planned anything for her for Valentine’s Day, and Jay was getting more and more frustrated because Gloria kept ruining his surprise. But wait! Gloria had discovered Jay’s secret private dinner and moved it to the garage! And she bought him a motorcycle! She wins! The payoff of Gloria declaring that she had “won” Valentine’s Day was pretty hilarious, but of the three couples I think it was the weakest storyline.

I’m getting a little tired of seeing Manny try to woo Haley (mostly because it’s a little bit creepy), but I’ll never get sick of seeing these characters so I’ll let it slide. Plus I loved when Phil and Claire continued to pretend they weren’t home even though Dylan was outside performing a song for Haley about nudity. Oh, Dylan. I’m pretty sure you’re going to grow up to be Andy from Parks & Rec, and I love that about you.

What did you think of “Bixby’s Back”? Which was more embarrassing – Claire’s trench coat mishap or Phil’s room key mishap? And does the assistant and the food delivery guy have a crush on Mitch or Cam? And now, check out a few of my favorite lines and moments from the episode:

• Claire: “I’ll be upstairs, Clive, don’t take too long.”
  Phil: “I never do…”
• “She’s had the romantic, she’s had the intellectual, how about all that in one fine little brown package.” – Manny (gross, but funny)
• “I don’t like to talk about money. But I have exactly ten million dollars.” – Phil
• “You look hot enough to cook a pizza on… in.” – Phil
• “I’m usually good at catching things from women in bars.” – Phil
• “I am the second wife Jay, why do you treat me like I’m the first?” – Gloria
• “I haven’t been single since I was nine!” – Haley (Oh, Haley…)
• “Am I a bad enough parent to ignore that?” – Claire, hearing Dylan singing outside (and yeah, she was)