Cameron hasn’t been a Mama’s boy since Gavin was born. It probably started before that, if I’m being honest. He started favouriting his Dad when I went back to work after his maternity leave.
But he’d still cycle back, keeping me as a viable option for favourite parent position. When I left work early before Gavin was born, it was Cameron and I again. We would spend our days snuggled on a recliner, him finding some tiny space to fit in around my extra-large belly.
When Gavin was born, things naturally changed. I had another baby to care for. I would nurse him often and Dan would pay special attention to Cameron so that he wouldn’t feel replaced. From that point on, Cameron became Dan’s special buddy. Once my arms became free again to snuggle my big boy, he didn’t seem to want them. He’d wiggle out of my grasp and run away to play. He grew away from his Mama too quickly.
Daily, it is Cameron who is my biggest challenge. I can understand Gavin’s nearly-two-year-old tantrums. His struggle to communicate is one I have learned to expect and one I am equipped to handle. But Cameron’s 4-year-old battle of wills is one I am not yet an expert at yet. I often wonder if he thinks I might love him less than I love his brother. I snap at him quicker and react to him harsher, because so far, it is the only parenting method that seems to elicit any type of positive response from him.
I have so much guilt about this. I love Cameron. He is my first-born. I want him to know that I love him. I want him to like being with me. I want to create good memories with him.
When the opportunity arose to attend Stars on Ice, I knew exactly who my date would be. Cameron loves a multitude of sports and he was enthralled with the Olympics. He knew who Patrick Chan was and he recognized Tessa and Scott. He could tell you his favourite figuring skating skill (if you can call jumping on your skates a “skill”. Cameron is easy to please). I may personally rank figure skating higher on my Olympic sport hierarchy list, but Cameron still knows how to appreciate it. And after attending Stars on Ice last year, I knew it would be a high energy show that Cameron would enjoy.
He talked about it all day before we went, at least if his daycare teacher is to believed. Cameron was excited (and I tried not to take his requests to go with Daddy instead personally). While it broke my heart to leave his (crying) younger brother at home, I was looking forward for some very important one-on-one time with my biggest boy.
It was a perfect night. Cameron held my hand during the entire half kilometre uphill walk from the parking garage to the Metro Centre. We talked. We talked the whole way. We talked about music and about how we missed his brother and his Daddy and about how cool the figure skating would be and about how many people were downtown and about why it was so hard to find parking. We waited in line to have our tickets scanned and we started to find our seats. Our excitement grew as we both saw the purple ice surface. Purple! (The ice colour would continue to be a discussion topic for the rest of the evening. It was awesome.)
As we experienced Stars on Ice together, I contemplated how nice it was to do something like this with a child. I didn’t have to worry about being too excited about something or not excited enough. I could genuinely get excited about stars I slightly swoon over or colourful ice or sparkly costumes. There wasn’t an ounce of self-consciousness, just pure enjoyment. And I have motherhood (and Cameron) to thank for that. I knew I couldn’t be a loser in front of my four-year-old.
Cam’s face was full of joy throughout the whole first half of the show. It was wonderful to see him so happy and for him to be be like that while doing something with me. We got up and danced. He clapped with me. He took his secret toy car that he apparently had smuggled in his pocket and pretended it was figure skating on the seat of his orange chair. We shared sweet pink cotton candy (his choice) and he rested his head on my shoulder during the last few slower numbers (which were understandably less exciting for a four year old, 2 hours past his bedtime).
As he sat on my lap during one of those slower dances, I looked down at him and he looked up at me and he smiled. It was a small, content, loving smile. It was a smile that comes naturally in the middle of snuggles between a parent and her young child. It was a smile I don’t see very often.
We walked back to the car a few minutes before 10pm. We held hands. We talked. We walked by Mommy’s office and Daddy’s office. He told me how he wanted to get home to hug Gavin and Daddy. I told him how proud I was of him, how good he had done that night. I told him I was really happy that we had a night out together.
“Me too, Mommy” he said.
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I am so grateful for Jergens who not only helped put on the Stars on Ice performance, but who also sent Cameron and I tickets to attend and give me a night I will never forget. They also sent me a gift basket full of Jergens Ultra Care Moisturizer, the new Jergens BB BODY Skin Cream in two shades, and from the Jergens Natural Glow line, the face moisturizer and 3 Days to Glow, in both variants. We’re no stranger to dry skin in this house and I already have the Ultra Care Moisturizer sitting by my bathroom sink to stop my hands from feeling like sandpaper. Since I’m anti-suntan, I’m looking forward to not being completely pasty-white this summer with Jergen’s Natural Glow Line.
I have the another gift basket ready to be sent to one of my readers! Enter in the Rafflecopter app below (Canadian residents only please). Good luck!
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