Thank god for the Internet, right? Mere hours after last night’s episode of New Girl various Tumblrs and the like had posted the rules to “True American”, the drinking game Jess and the guys played on the show last night. And now there are competing rules! It’s amazing. For my Canadian readers out there, Krista has suggested we create our own version using Heritage Minutes commercials.
“I smell burnt toast!”
Now, onto the recap.
After spending an entire week at Russell’s fancy house, Jess decided (thanks to some prodding from CeCe) that Russell needed to integrate himself into her life too – so he came to spend the weekend at the loft.
It was, of course, a disaster. I mean, Jess lives with Schmidt, Nick and Winston. There was no way it could go well! The antics that ensued were hilarious, especially the “True American” drinking game. But I do have two problems (not with the show, with the characters):
- I didn’t like how Russell kept shushing Jess once he was loaded and talking to the guys. It was so rude! He treated her like a child, or like she wasn’t important because she’s a girl. And even though Russell and Jess eventually had their first fight, it was never really addressed. That kind of domineering, obnoxious behavior (even when drunk) is kind of a red flag.
- So, Russell kind of freaked out because Jess’s apartment is a mess. The garbage disposal is broken, the elevator cords are thin so everyone had to sign a waver, and it comes with three crazy roommates and a supermodel. But can you blame the guy for being a bit overwhelmed? Jess, Nick, Schmidt and Winston are all approaching 30 years old. Is it really normal to still live in these conditions? I’m 26 and I couldn’t handle it! I know Winston and Nick have financial reasons for needing cheap living spaces, but Winston now has a grownup job and Schmidt and Jess are already professionals. Even with Jess’s breakup, you’d think they’d be able to afford nicer living arrangements. There’s nothing you can do about it because without these four living together you’d have no show, but sometimes it comes across as unrealistic.
The breaking point for Russell was when, hungover the next morning, Nick and Schmidt tried to actually sell him on the idea of “Real Apps” that he’d drunkenly supported the night before. “Real Apps” which, yes, sounds just like relapse, was a case for your phone that featured items like corkscrews and Swiss army knives. Knives that can stab you in the hand, like they did to Russell. And since the loft was out of Band-Aids, Jess tried taping a napkin to his hand.
The whole thing just sort of shed light on why Jess and Russell don’t work rather than making me think their first fight made their relationship stronger.
I liked Winston’s storyline more, because it is another step in establishing Winston as a real character. He’s left his nanny job for a gig with his sports radio idol Joe Napoli (and Kareem Abdul Jabbar!) but it’s not all he thought it would be. Joe is a huge asshole, and working for him is hell. But when Winston tried to bail and return to babysitting Alvin, his adorable owl-like little friend accused Winston of asking him to smoke pot so that his mom would fire him. Also, he advised Winston to take “typing” off his resume as it is 2012 and that’s no longer a special skill.
There was a thing with Beyonce-colored milkshakes and some bad advice from Russell that was vaguely funny, but not really my humor. Winston kind of bonded with his meanie boss though, so he’ll keep the gig and I’m glad about that.
Overall, this just wasn’t my favorite episode of New Girl. True American was funny, but the rest just didn’t really do it for me. What did y’all think?
Favorite quotes and moments:
- Jess: “I love these parties. I feel like I’m an ambassador or a spy or, like, a really high-class prostitute.”
Russell: “Well, Jess, it’s a political fundraiser. Who’s to say you can’t be all three?”
- “It’s like we’re living in a romantic comedy montage. Like, we throw our heads back and we laugh and I try on floppy hats for him. It’s pretty perfect. It’s like the first act of a TV movie…until I find out that he has a wife and kids in another state.” – Jess
- “These are hangover eggs. They’ll either stop you from throwing up the rest of the day or you’ll just throw it all up really fast. High risk, high reward.” – Jess
- Nick: “It seems these days there’s an app for everything.”
Schmidt: “Doesn’t it though?”
Nick: “Yeah… but there isn’t. Let’s say I’m out and about, you know, being mobile, and I want to cut a bagel… cobble a shoe…”
Schmidt: “Haberdash on the fly…”
Nick: “Is there an app for that?”
Nick: “Until now!”
- Jess’s Spice Girls lyrics reference