Old Hollywood Glamour Shots

L-A: Can we talk about Jessica Simpson on the cover of June’s Vanity Fair?

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Because holy crap, is it ever Hott.  Is it just me, or did she channel Grace Kelly there?

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I think that yes, she totally did. And I’ve never been accused of being a Jessica Simpson fan (although I too love her line of shoes and I am completely guilty of buying her hair extensions…what?? they were totally on sale for $16! how could I not?), so I believe I’m being completely unbiased.  The dress is great, the hair is great, and it’s just an overall fab picture.  Of course, it helps that it was shot by Mario Testino who can make even LiLo look glowing and healthy:

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Oh Lindsay. So cute, yet so much baggage.  (Although, props to her for that eHarmony spoof she did). There’s also a Mario Testino/Vanity Fair Retrospective online. Most of them are quite pretty and he has a knack for making present day celebrities look classy and Old Hollywood-esque. Like Blake Lively on the cover of February’s Vogue:

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Of course, everyone has their off days. Because he clearly wasn’t going for Old Hollywood with this June 1999 shot of Julia Roberts:

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um…..right.

So, moving along. The June cover of Jessica actually makes me want to buy Vanity Fair this month. And maybe even frame it for my office. This is saying somethign as I usually can’t be bothered to look twice at Vanity Fair. Oh Great, Christopher Hitchens writes something shocking. again. Another Annie Liebowitz cover of a group of celebrities. YAWN... (check out the 6min mark of this Ugly Betty video: Betty’s nephew Justin agrees with me on the Annie L. issue).  But this is just damn pretty.

AllyG: I just returned from “pregnancy class” (I still love how you called it that) and was so excited to read this post and get my swollen little fingers all over it. That is, until I got to the part where you admitted you bought Jessica Simpson extensions. My first thought was, “Oh, L-A! How COULD you?”…my second thought was, “Can I borrow ‘em?” and I’m not talking for Halloween. I sort of want to wear them on casual Friday.

Look, when it comes to Jessica Simpson my feelings are all over the place like my hormones. I loved her when she first came out as a pop star. She was refreshing. She didn’t sex it up as much as Christina and Britney. She seemed genuine. Then her father started to creep me out with this “Double Ds” comment and she played dumb for the cameras on her reality show. Still, I adore her shoes and accessories line. And I will never stop loving this video.

er, I think that was when she began to “sex it up” a bit.

Despite her recent free-fall, I still think she has that star quality, and I can’t help but root for her because she wants it SO BAD. Compare and contrast with Lilo who wants it bad, but doesn’t seem to want to work for it. The only thing she seems capable of doing lately is reinventing Marilyn Monroe. Badly at that.

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She’s just so…obvious. I can’t think of another word for it…just…obvious.

And she attempts to do the Marilyn again, a couple of years later…

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Kitten needs a nap, non? Wowza.

Seriously. Wow.

Let’s focus on the positive, shall we?

While I usually hate when Christina takes on Marilyn (again with the Marilyn, I know, I’ll move on I promise). I do love this photo. Perhaps she just needs to hang out with Stephen Webster more often?

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The star who owns the Hollywood glam style is Kate Winslet. She just kills it everytime. I should hate her, because she is besties with Leo (do you know she wears a ring that he gave her? Is her husband not dying of jealousy??), but I want to be besties with her too. And Leo. Besties with Leo as well. What? He seems nice?

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Oh, look a photo of Leo…how did that get on here? I blame L-A’s extensions. Dirty, bad extensions!

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L-A: I’m not apologizing for my J.Simps extensions. They are surprisingly cute! And yes, you can borrow.

I agree about Kate. I totally want to be her BFF and hang out and eat ice cream with her and gossip about how cute Leo is. And I totally wish she and Leo were an item for reals. But I will have to be satisfied that they are BFFs who exchange rings. (having said this, I did not enjoy Revolutionary Road that much. Lot of good acting by pretty people with a story that made me want to jump out of the plane that I was watching it on).

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