Let me tell you what parenting my dear teen has been like.
When we was a toddler/ young child. I dealt every day with the naked girl. She had severe sensory issues which I later figured out, clothes weren’t her thing, especially socks, and jeans. Really till she was 8 I could barely keep these on her.
When she was young meltdowns were a daily occurrence. You know that parent you see in the mall just might not be dealing with a misbehaving kid, the child might just be like mine and have medical issues. Just because they are verbal and very high functioning don’t make a presumption. Over the years I have many well meaning people make comments, and oh the stares especially when she was younger.
Church and the mosque are not cool places for a child with Autism either. When I would go to church with her most of my time was spent in the hall trying to calm my daughter. When I tried to take her recently it became a battle field. I no longer compel attendance. Many times the well meaning women would definitely have a say.
After she was diagnosed I had to take 3 years out of the work force after all what boss wants an employee who is getting constant calls from the school. One who has to run at the drop of a hat to go find a child who has run away from school in the midst of a melt down? Until grade 4 she would have almost daily melt downs.
In Grades 5 and 6 my daughter had to deal with being bullied. The bullying got so bad she ended up in the emergency room. The principal in Nova Scotia wrote it off as kids will be kids. On one occasion my daughter was beaten so bad on the way home from school one day she had bruises all over her. The principal did nothing as it had happened steps off school property. The school board did nothing either.The police did nothing either as the children were under the age of 12. On another my then 10 year old daughter was pushed down onto some ice at recess splitting her lip open. My child walked home with her split bleeding lip, that split took 5 stitches in the emergency room.
My daughter through constant coaching has come a long way. I no longer deal with daily melt downs. School is still hard and a challenge as she is highly intelligent ( she tests at the 97 percentile) and thinks outside of the box. She is compassionate , sensitive and caring. She is also very creative. She has already had her first art showing and has a passion for drawing and creating. Friendships are still a challenge as she says most kids think she is weird. She is also very honest and you will always know where you stand with her. This week she brought home Student of the month for Honesty. Honestly, grade 7 has been a much better year.
The major lessons I have learned parenting my daughter:
- each child is different never compare
- take time to really listen and try to understand and accommodate where I can
- I have to be her advocate always : especially when dealing with school boards who have limited funding
- patience
- how to live on 4 hours sleep ( children with Asperger’s do not sleep during the night)
- enjoy the small moments
Do you have a child on the spectrum? If so are you a single parent doing it alone? If so how do you handle the work home balance as I have found this my largest challenge.
Source: http://commoncentsmom.com/2011/04/03/parenting-a-child-with-aspergers-syndrome/