Review: The A-Team? More Like the C+ Team

Title: The A-Team
Studio: 20th Century Fox
Director: Joe Carnahan
Actors: Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Jessica Biel, Sharlto Copley, Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson

Nostalgia can be a key driving force when it comes to determining how you and your dollars part ways. But be warned: that same warm, fuzzy feeling you get from recognising something from your childhood has been known to pry open your wallet when you aren’t looking, and steal the exact cost of one movie ticket. It is the sneakiest of fuzzy feelings.

Hollywood, of course, knows of this fuzzy kleptomaniac, hence, the tidal wave of remakes we’ve been treated to in 2010. In about five and a half months we have seen remakes for: Clash of the Titans, A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Crazies, Death at a Funeral, The Wolfman, Edge of Darkness, and probably a bunch more that have slipped through the mental cracks.

This weekend, we can add two more to the pile. The A-Team and The Karate Kid both get the remake treatment – and while The Karate Kid is far too nimble and quick for me to catch, The A-Team was just the right speed for me to lasso with some sort of…um…movie-wrangling rope…alright, I’m abandoning this horrible metaphor. I watched The A-Team and not the other one. Creativity is overrated.

The story follows the creation of the famous team, and their first set of military missions. Everything is quick quips and fist-bumping for the first little bit, but when shit goes down and our titular team gets framed for some serious stuff, it’s dishonourable discharges and jail time for all. However, we both know this isn’t a prison movie, so I’m sure you can assume what happens next – escaping and elaborate revenge. Hurray!

Borrowing a couple notes from The Losers, The A-Team’s story of a rogue military team framed and set on revenge while delivering cheeky lines and laughing like they’re having a blast, feels a bit like déjà vu. However, what The A-Team brings to the table in spades is an entertaining new level of absurdity. Jessica Biel’s character pretty much sums up the whole movie when she says, “They are the best …and they specialize in the ridiculous.” Until you’ve seen a parachuting tank blasting enemy aircrafts mid-air, you don’t fully appreciate these sage words.

UFC fighter, Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson, pulls out his best Mr. T impression and does a fine job. In fact, everyone in the fairly solid cast does the best they can with the cheesy dialogue they’ve been given. However, I suspect the movie is as action-heavy as it is specifically because of the weakness created by having a script in the hands of eleven different screenwriters over a course of ten years. That’s a long time to end up with a movie that’s pretty much one giant computer-generated effect.

All in all, The A-Team is weak in all the areas you would expect a movie like this to be – characters, dialogue, story, pretty much everything – but, is just ironic enough in its action sequences to perhaps warrant a look; you know, if that bastard, “nostalgia”, makes off with your money.