Santa may not have been watching, but we were

AllyG: I’d like to say I spent the holidays ignoring the blog and binge drinking, but sadly it was a much less sexy season than in year’s past. This year was BabyG’s first Christmas, so we spent it dangling shiny and sparking things in front of his face while he looked increasingly pissed off. I did get to have a few glasses of wine and indulge in my fave activity of judging people on the internet. This is what I found!

Let’s start with my favourite celebrity, Nicole Richie. Are you tired of hearing about her? Get over it because Mrs. is going to have a new sitcom on ABC. I can’t wait!! Over the Christmas season she hit up a Lakers game with her bf Joel Madden.

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Sigh. I love her so much. Not loving the dark brown hair, but I do adore a good white shirt with a black bra. I can just see L-A taking another shot of her tequila after reading that.  Sadly, I’m not even kidding. I dig that look. Nic has come a long way since we last saw her at a Lakers game…

Needless to say, her fashion as well as her tact has come a long way. She pulls off the effortless cas (short for casual!) look like no other. Well, perhaps Sienna, but Sienna could be accused of trying too hard. Speaking of Sienna, do we love that she is back with Jude? They spent the holidays on the beach in Barbados…

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You know I love me some Sienna, but I hate me that bikini. It’s a little campy, non? Perhaps she recycled it from the first time she and Jude gave it a go.

While I am pleased that Jude and Sienna are back on, I am deeply distraught over the recent resurgence of J-Lo. She needs to stop everything she is doing. Immediately.

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This bothers me on several levels. Particularly because you know she wore it so that we would write about it. Like, there is no way she got on stage thinking she looked good.  It sort of makes me feel sorry for her because I fear she is trying to “stir the pot” a la Lady Gaga. FAIL. Speaking of our fave Lady…

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This is what she wore on NYE. Meh. I’d be more shocked if she wore joggers. She should give that a try. It may help her dance moves. I joke! I joke! I love her Bad Romance dancing! In fact, I’ve even watched and learned from the YouTube tutorial.

Try it at home! Better yet, invite me over so we can do shooters and I can get jiggy in a living room sans playmat!

Before L-A wishes that I would take another hiatus from the blog, I’ll shut up and let her dish on what hurt her eyes over the holidays. I’m hoping she’ll snark on Kevin Jonas’ wedding. Bless his virgin heart.

L-A: I am baffled. Did you google, “celebs looking horrible”? That J.Lo bodysuit will give me nightmares for weeks. Sienna looks like she’s trying out for the part of Maryanne in a new Gilligan’s Island. And Nicole? No. Just no. No one will ever convince me to wear a black bra with a white shirt (trust me, Eden’s tried). But because I love you, I totally googled “Kevin Jonas’ wedding“. Apparently it was a fairy tale. Not kidding. Not hyperbole either. It was in a “castle” (aka. very large mansion on Long Island) and included “an enchanted forest [theme] and glass slippers in the bride’s shoe size, a gift from the groom.”  And the bride walked down the aisle to music from Lady and the Tramp.

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That was probably my dream wedding too…when I was seven.  Oh, I’m sure they love each other and they’ll live happily ever after. But a Disney wedding? I’m sorry. Gag me with an effing spoon. Her Vera Wang dress is kind of pretty though. Too meringuey for my taste. While I can deal with the meringue (it is her wedding dress, so I’ll give her a break), I cannot deal with this shit:

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What?

Why must celebrities turn into total tackypants when they’re about to tie the knot. Goes to show you that all the money in the world can’t buy you taste. For example, the former Mrs. Federline:

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Klassy.

(AllyG: Oh! Britney’s wedding! I love Britney’s weddings!

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‘member the Vegas wedding?)

More celebrity wedding klassiness:

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Last bridesmaid on the left is not looking so much impressed with her matching Juicy Couture bridesmaid gear. Maybe she was putting a curse on the marriage of Tori and the first Mr. Tori Spelling (oh, you don’t care who he is).

Okay. I’m going to stop now. Mention the Jonas wedding and you send me down a rabbit hole of wedding tacky.  I apologize if your prenup outfits looked like that, but I’m sorry. This totally falls under questionable things.