Peace.
Peace is a word that evokes the flickering of a flame at a Christmas Eve service or the crisp newness of the freshly fallen snow draped over the lawn or a Silent Night.
Christmas is peaceful.
Except when it isn’t.
Peace might be one of the last words I would use to describe this Christmas.
As a mother, I spend my days seeking those peaceful moments: Those precious snuggles when the baby is quiet and still; The few minutes of contented solitary playing so that I can get a few things done; Those blessed moments of silence when I find myself blissfully alone after the babe has fallen asleep for his nap.
As a mother, I need peace.
My baby requires it even more.
Without peace, Cameron simply cannot sleep. He has his own anxieties to deal with before he is able to rest his head. But once those little eyelids droop into dreamland, he depends on us to help him sleep by keeping the peace sustained within his environment.
Yet, peace isn’t natural in our society. And finding enough peace that my baby needs while staying with people who aren’t used to living with babies is darned near impossible.
Think about it. How often do you raise your voice through the course of a day? I don’t necessarily mean raising your voice in anger – although that counts. But do you ever yell to a family member in the other room to let them know that it is time for dinner or that the phone is for them? Do you ever notice the volume of your voice gradually rising as the tale you are telling gets more involved?
We spend a lot of our time yelling.
And when we’re not yelling – we’re letting our technology yell at us.
We live in a peace-less world.
So how do we find Christmas in all this noise? Where is the Silent Night? Where is the peace?
The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes
But little Lord Jesus, no crying he makes.
That first Christmas had to be so full of noise. A stable with animals. A woman giving birth. That first cry a baby makes as he takes his first breaths. A field full of terrified shepherds. A chorus of heavenly hosts praising. A flock of people running and celebrating.
That night was anything but silent. And yet there was peace. Heavenly peace.
I still seek those quiet, peaceful Mommy moments. My baby still needs them. This Christmas is still lacking them.
But I’m searching for some heavenly peace. I pray that for tonight and for tomorrow and for the rest of your life, you will have heavenly peace.
Happy Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas. Good night.
