So Violated…..

I’VE BEEN ROBBED! BURGLED! PLUNDERED! PURLOINED!….Ha Ha! Loins. I was having a wonderful Thursday and was looking forward to a relaxing end to my school week. The sun was shinning, the air was brisk and for the first time in about two months I didn’t have a scholastic clusterfuck of a weekend in my immediate future. And then it all went pear shaped. I got a call from my Mom who, by virtue of my legal and banking status as officially an Alberta resident, receives my credit card statements in the mail, which she then relays to me. Well apparently upon receiving the latest batch, she noticed an odd series of transactions: two consecutive purchases on the same day. Each were $250 at a Blockbuster in Montreal. What tipped my Mom off is that I haven’t been in Montreal for about two years. Well that and the fact that I have neither a Blockbuster account nor five hundred dollars to waste. Some feckless cunts in Quebec had defrauded me and not in a very smart fashion. Thankfully I was not alone, on my side were scads of Visa and Scotiabank personnel, my financial foot-soldiers. And like Caesar’s faithful legions at Alesia they ground those felonious French barbarians into dust! Visa nuked the charges at no cost to me and Scotiabank have kitted me out with a new Interac card, anti-fraud protection and a replacement Visa due next week, free of charge. And it took less than an hour and a half. All praise the mighty Jupiter for their tireless service!