Spice Up A Seasoned Marriage With An At-home Date

Remember back in the summer when we were on vacation and I was spending all my time with my family and my husband wasn’t working and we were in a really good place?

September definitely brings everything back to reality, doesn’t it?

Tonight I looked at the clock and realized that I had been managing children for 13 and a half hours without stopping.

And of course, that doesn’t include the four times I was up with the baby during the night before those 13 waking hours began ticking. I got a child to and from school, a husband to and from the bus, I went to the grocery store with two crazy kids and a baby on my hip, I got a child ready for swimming lessons, brought him to swimming lessons, and quite literally held his hand through it (I was wearing jeans.) Then, we came home for dinner, I put the baby to bed (twice) and the big kids to bed (more than once). I debriefed with the husband about his day and then he went to bed and I came here, to my keyboard and my glass of wine.

September is hard, yo. (That turn of phrase might be the wine talking).

I miss the freedom to just enjoy my family. I miss having more control over my time and I miss downtime. I miss long road trips where we have nothing but each other and podcasts and audiobooks to keep us entertained. I miss always having my husband in arm’s reach. I miss going to bed at the same time as him.

I never understood the point of a vacation when you’re a stay-at-home mom. Doesn’t it just mean shifting your resposibilities somewhere else? But I get it now. A vacation is about a changing pace and focusing on relationships. If you can make that happen while still caring for kids, then you’ve figured it out.

If vacation is about slowing down and family time, September has us speeding up and barely finding time for one another.

So the trick, I suppose, is about making time. Except sometimes it feels like you really need some sort of trick to make it work. Is there a magical abracadabra word to make the time, money, and will appear for a time-out together?

Last night’s movie night selfie! #homedate #streamteam #movienight

A photo posted by Laura O’Rourke (@lauralorourke) on