Two in a row, baby! Winning the office pool, that is. Last season, I won my mom’s office Survivor pool with Sophie, having never won before. This season, I’m much prouder to have won with Kim. (Sophie was good and all, but by the time this season began I’d completely forgotten who I’d won the pool with. She’s very forgettable.)

But you know what? Office pool winnings aside, I was really rooting for Kim last night. She deserved it, more than anyone else there. Any other outcome would have been an immense letdown, and I didn’t want that after a less than stellar episode. So we’ll see how the right person winning influences where I place this season in my Survivor rankings later today.

A lot of people have been saying that Kim only won because everyone she was playing with was weak or stupid. I disagee. Yes, the players this season were unusually lame. But Kim? Kim played a fantastic game, and I think she still would have held her own against stronger players. In challenges, the woman was fierce. Fierce! Socially, she was quiet but adored. Everyone wanted to be her friend, and that’s a big part of why she was so able to have everyone convinced that they were in the final three with her until the bitter end. And strategically, Kim managed to maintain many alliances, always giving herself options and make all of the important decisions. Like her or not, she was a damn strong triple threat in the game, and I’d be happy to see her come back and play again.

Balancing Act

The episode began with the five women returning to camp, victorious in having kept their alliance basically in tact the entire game. Yes, Christina was there instead of Kat. But an all-female final five was what they all really wanted, and they got it. Easily.

The next morning, Kim floated the idea of voting Chelsea out with Sabrina. I’m not sure if this was a great move, since Kim didn’t really need Sabrina on board to get rid of Chelsea – she could just use Alicia and Christina for that. Sabrina was suspicious, because if Kim was so willing to double-cross Chelsea, what would stop her from doing the same to Sabrina?

Luckily for Kim, in these finals days she never had to worry about being voted out. Not that I think anyone would have had the brains to try and pull it off anyway.

The first Immunity Challenge of the night was a good ol’ complex one – players had to complete a balance beam maze, collect bags of puzzle pieces on a rope net, and solve the puzzle to reveal a message that would clue them into a final code. There were a lot of ways players could screw up or catch up, and I was on the edge of my seat. Kim won, securing her spot in the final four – she wouldn’t even need to use her Hidden Immunity Idol to get there.

Swingers

It was fitting that Kim should be the swing vote, since she was the most powerful person in the game from practically day one. She had two choices – stick with Sabrina and Chelsea, or go with Alicia and Christina. And since Alicia was so convinced that she was in a tight alliance with Kim, I thought Kim would make a couple enemies either way. The downside to being the power player of the season is that you’re likely to lose a few friends, especially if they’re bitter Betties.

I’ll admit, I thought it would be a huge mistake for Kim to go to the finals with Chelsea and Sabrina. They both seemed very well liked, and I thought a few anti-Kim votes could go their ways. But Alicia and Christina? That seemed easy as pie.

Chelsea briefly mentioned the Idol to Kim, but there was really not much point in discussing it. Kim was the swing vote, she controlled Chelsea’s fate. She didn’t need to give her the idol, she only needed to vote a certain way.

But there was an argument to be made for loyalty, and Kim was always more loyal to Chelsea and Sabrina than to anyone else. If she went with them, would the jury respect her more? Kim voted out Alicia, and didn’t bother playing her Hidden Immunity Idol on anyone’s behalf. I think it’s best that she didn’t reveal she had it. Alicia’s final words were “The game is done. I’m out. I am definitely not a sore loser. I’m proud of Kim. She fooled me completely.” Well hey, I might hate Alicia in a lot of ways but she’s right about one thing – she is not a sore loser at all. (Of course, she did follow that up by getting a few more digs in at Christina.)

Steady, Girl!

With that, Kim had really made her choice. Yes, it would be tempting to take Christina to the finals instead of Sabrina. But she’d already made the decision not to abandon her original alliance of three, so I think taking Christina to the end would have then made her look like a hypocrite.

Christina went out the way she played – weak, with a slight whimper. Back at camp, she told Kim that she wasn’t mad and that she’d played a good game. Look, I appreciate a jury member who can see they’ve been outwitted more than anyone else… but Christina wasn’t on the jury yet! There was no need to get so Zen about it while she was still in the game. But Christina was always weak, and she made almost no attempt to stick around.

Oh, the Fallen Comrades montage. How I hate thee. Let’s just go over some highlights from it:

• Matt thinks he played the best game of anyone out there. Seriously? Did he actually say that with a straight face? There were a lot of massive egos over on the men’s tribe this season, but that comment takes the cake.
• Colton acknowledged that his illness might have been karma. If only he’d been so enlightened at the reunion special.

Time for the final immunity challenge! These are usually either endurance or balance/steady-handedness based, and this one was pretty cool. Using a long pole, players had to navigate a wooden bowl through a precarious contraption and stack it on top, without knocking it over. I still prefer endurance challenges, but I do like the tension and drama that’s created by these balancing acts. It came down to Kim vs. Christina, which was fascinating since I think they were the two people who needed it most. Had Christina won Immunity, would Chelsea and Sabrina have turned on Kim? I’m not sure – I think Sabrina certainly might have, forcing a tie rather than getting voted out herself.

But Kim’s a force to be reckoned with, and she won Immunity again. That was four individual immunity challenges out of a possible nine – that puts her in some fine company. At this point, I truly felt like Kim deserved to win more than anyone – in fact, I was hoping for a unanimous vote. Not only did she dominate the game strategically, but she was a fantastic physical player. No one else played like her this season.

Still Waters

Back at camp, there was very little scrambling. Christina felt that there was nothing she could say to convince the others to keep her around. Sigh. Look, that may be true – after all, I do feel like the important decision was made at the previous Tribal Council. But seriously, Christina? You could have tried a little harder.

Even at Tribal Council, Christina’s pitch was pathetic. She should have been talking about how well-liked Sabrina is and how she’d certainly get a couple votes, and how Christina knows she’d get zero votes in the finals. Instead, she tried to make an argument that Sabrina wasn’t deserving of a seat in the final three. And that’s just weak sauce coming from the mouth of someone who was told time and time again that she didn’t deserve to be in the game.

So, Christina was voted out and departed saying that she wished she’d played differently. Or, I don’t know, at all?

Three’s Company

And with that, we had our final three. Kudos to Kim, Chelsea and Sabrina for sticking together through the entire game. But everyone knew that Kim had done all the work, and jury members who voted any other way were just sore losers.

There have been times throughout the season when both Sabrina and Chelsea said things to other players that were strategically stupid, and Kim had to go clean up their messes. Sabrina revealed to Christina that votes were going her way the night they voted Troy out; Chelsea accidentally talked about secret alliance stuff with Jay in front of girls who were not supposed to be in that alliance. I don’t think either woman was a strategic powerhouse, or played the game with the same intelligence, precision and power that Kim did. And then there’s the physical challenges to boot.

Of course, much of what happened would depend on how things went at the final tribal council. How mad would the other players be at Kim? How would they feel about voting for players that could easily be described as coattail riders? Would they vote with their hearts instead? Because Sabrina, well, it’s hard to top the story of just getting laid off from your job teaching high school in the ghetto.

May The Best Woman Win

But as soon as Tribal Council began, I started to feel very confident that Kim had it in the bag. Chelsea’s opening remarks were odd, to say the least. I guess she wasn’t as well-liked as I’d thought, and her entire argument seemed to be “I’m sorry I seemed like a bitch, but I didn’t want to make personal connections with any of you because I needed to be tough to vote you out.” Maybe that’s true – and viewers at home certainly saw Chelsea struggle with some decisions – but it’s not a message that endears you to the voters. Sabrina was possibly even worse, basically stating that her strategy was to not try very hard in challenges. Riiiiight. That sounds deserving of a million bucks!

Kim argued the only way she could – that she loves this game, she has always thought of it as a game, and she wouldn’t take back a single vote because every decision she made led her to the goal she came with, of being in the final three. The only mistake Kim would have made was to pull an Amanda Kimmel and cry, and Kim’s too tough for that.

Jonas kicked things off, saying that if he voted purely based on likability he’d be voting for Sabrina. He voted for Kim, so I’m glad to see that he didn’t just reduce things to a popularity contest. Next up was Christina, who asked Chelsea “Why do you hate people?” Again, I had no idea that Chelsea had come across as such an ice queen to her fellow players. It was enlightening information that changed my entire attitude about the final three – I thought Chelsea was a big threat because I thought she was likable. Instead, I realized she was the one who wouldn’t get a single vote.

Jay called out Sabrina for her laziness in challenges and around camp; Mike asked Kim to define a blindside and if she believed she had perfected the art of it. I liked Kim’s answer to Mike because it was very honest – she voted him out because she knew he was the one guy that Troy would readily give up. It was nothing personal, it was business. I felt a guy like Mike would appreciate that.

Next was Tarzan, and his answer was all about his wife. Frankly, it was a bit much for me. Has no one ever heard of a thirty year marriage before? Geez! Tarzan cried, Sabrina cried, Chelsea sobbed about how Tarzan and his wife had made her realize that love exists in the world or some crap. Kim politely smiled. This is why I like Kim.

Leif, who is possibly the least eloquent person ever, was very emo. Really, Leif? You were that cut up over being voted out? Were you ever even officially in an alliance with Kim? Kim answered very truthfully, and said she knew Leif had voted for her at one point and she wasn’t sure she could trust him, so she had no qualms about voting him out. If Leif were a better guy, he would have accepted that answer and voted for Kim. Instead, he bought Sabrina’s sappy answer about how she couldn’t bring herself to be the one to lie to him because she was so, so sad about it. Bull. Crap.

Alicia used her time to mostly praise herself, and we all knew she’d be voting for Kim. I’m impressed – I expected Alicia to be really angry that she was lied to and stabbed in the back, but instead she appreciated that Kim outplayed her. I might have hated a lot about Alicia during the game, but at least she understood that it is just a game.

Troy, though? He does not. And after last night’s episode, I absolutely have zero respect for the guy. I think he’s a raging egomaniac who cannot stand the thought of being outplayed by someone, so he’ll make up any old excuse not to vote for her. Kim outplayed Troy when she easily convinced him that Mike was the right person to vote out. He was stupid, and fell for it. End of story. Troy’s question to Kim was, at what moment did she decide to destroy his chances in the game. She said when they voted out Jonas, which I felt was a completely legitimate answer. Jonas was the first person voted out after the merge, so if that’s when Kim decided to go with the girls, then that’s a good answer. Troy should have accepted that, OK, Kim outwitted him and made him think he was in an alliance when he wasn’t, and she slowly but surely orchestrated things so that all the men were voted out. He is a whiny, egotistical, pathetic baby and I have lost all respect for him. Every other guy Kim outplayed was willing to put hurt feelings aside and vote for the best player, but Troy just couldn’t admit that there was someone who outdid him.

We wrapped things up with Kat, who’d adopted a surprisingly zen attitude about the whole thing. She may be “only 22″, immature and well, not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but she was at least able to put her hurt feelings aside and vote for the person who deserved to win. And that makes her more mature than Troy. Kat talked about how having open heart surgery at a young age makes her appreciate life, and that she’d rather be happy than be angry at people for voting her out, and that if she didn’t vote for Kim she’d show she’d learned nothing from the entire Survivor experience. It was actually rather sweet.

Voting Time

And then it was time to reveal the votes! I still long for the days when Probst would do a hilarious video suggesting that he’d just arrived from the set location to the studio with the votes. I figured Sabrina would get a vote or two, and that *maybe* Chelsea would get one, but I was pretty darn sure Kim would win. And that she did! Chelsea received no votes. Sabrina received two – from Leif, who is a moron, and from Troy, who is a child. The rest all voted for Kim, even if they were mad at her. Because they are respectable people.

Reunion Show

I’m happy with the winner and I think Kim played a great game, but that doesn’t mean I think this was a good season of Survivor. The cast featured too many people who were either too boring to do anything (Jonas, Christina, Sabrina, for example), too stupid to do anything (Kat, Christina, Tarzan, for example) or too arrogant to root for (Colton, Troyzan, Alicia, for example). Kim is a deserving winner, but she doesn’t have the most dynamic personality for a reality show. She’s intelligent, soft spoken and graceful. All lovely qualities in real life, and qualities that helped her win over her castmates and win the game. But as reality show personalities go, she’s on the subdued side. And so all in all, the reunion show was rather drab.

Colton didn’t seem nearly as apologetic and changed as I hoped he would, while Alicia (while still awful) seemed surprisingly remorseful about her one comment regarding Christina and her special needs students. Had that been the only horrible thing Alicia said or did all season I might have forgiven her, but there were so many other transgressions. Anyway, I felt the time spent on Colton was a waste of time, and I also pitied his mother.

Everything Troy said made me mad, because I still can’t get over what an egomaniac he is. Really, who is telling Troy that he played the best game they’ve ever seen when they see him on the street? It’s just, like, his mom, right? Ugh! Here’s the thing: I don’t think Troy was a terrible player. I think he was an OK player. Average, decent, etc. If someone is a bad player and knows they’re bad, that’s fine. If someone was an OK player and knows it, then that’s fine. But someone who was a mediocre player on a lame season of Survivor and continues to make the claim that he played an excellent game? In my book, that person is the worst.

Kim was voted Player of the Season, scoring an extra $100,000. This is completely fair, I say, because the vote is made before we know who won and Kim was, indeed the Player of the Season. I would have been so angry if Troy had won instead.

Let’s briefly talk about how people looked. Kim, Chelsea, Sabrina, Kat, all looked great. (Though I continue to not understand people who think Chelsea is the prettiest. I think that honor goes to Kat and Kim, but hey, that’s just me.) Christina looked fantastic, too, and of course any time Jay spoke I was too busy staring at his beautiful face to listen. But can we talk about Bill? The hair! The suit! Fabulous. He’s classier and better dressed than Colton. Now that’s a win.

Phillipines, Second Chances

I’m looking forward to next season, which Probst revealed will be held in the Phillipines and will feature players who were previously medically evacuated from the game. I’ve read who these players and rumored to be, and I’m very happy. I hope, in addition to those players, we’ll see a more dynamic cast than we got this season.

OK guys, head to the comments and tell me what you thought of the show! And stick around, because I’ll have my Survivor season rankings up soon.

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