L-A: I spent the day out and about, exploring the province and then came home and decided to watch one episode of Sports Night, which turned into 10 episodes (and I’m sorry Sports Night fans, I’m not yet feeling the love. I should love it. Everything is there: Aaron Sorkin’s quick and snappy dialogue, Peter Krause, Josh Charles, Joshua Malina. But I’m not feeling it. Is it the ill-timed and inconsistent laugh track? Is it the very 1998ness of it all? It was a bad time for a lot of us, not least of which – Felicity Huffman’s hair). This is all to say: it’s 10:30 on a Sunday and I just remembered to write something. Oops.
But, it’s also 10:30 at night and I literally just purchased the following from J.Crew:
This may not seem remarkable, because let’s face it, even when you call them the Addison chino in British Khaki, they’re still a pair of khakis.
But here’s the thing. These aren’t the first pair of Addison Chinos in British Khaki. No. These are the backup pants. And it was with great debate and guilt and unreasonable anxiety that I purchased them. Backup pants seem like an unnecessary luxury. Like, one isn’t enough, I need to own two pairs of the exact same pants in the exact same colour. Or better yet, all the pairs in all the colours. But I firmly believe I do need to own these backup pants.
My debate went something like this (it actually went on for two days, so I’ll just give you the highlight reel):
L-A: I really love my new khakis. I fear the day they become so worn and frayed I can no longer wear them in polite society.
Inner L-A: What are you? Made of money? You only need the one pair.
L-A: Or I spill coffee on them next week.
Inner L-A: Right. Entirely likely. This is why you can’t have nice things.
L-A: But I want nice things. And I know my pants will die and I will still want them. I will dream of them. Mourn them.
Inner L-A: We’re still talking about pants?
L-A: Yes. But to be fair, they are really nice pants.
Inner L-A: That’s excessive. There are children in the world without pants.
L-A: Yes, but my workplace does require I wear them. And they’d probably prefer I show up to work without coffee stains on my pants.
Inner L-A: Fair. But you can find a new pair another day.
L-A [whining]: But what if I can’t? What if next season khakis only come in skinny cropped styles?
Inner L-A: So you propose we spend $45 on a pair of pants you don’t plan on wearing any time soon.
L-A: Something like that. It will live in the closet with the backup dress.
Inner L-A: I am officially registering my objection.
L-A: There is a PayPal checkout!
Inner L-A: I hate you.
L-A: Can I get them in navy as well?
What? I’m living alone right now with two cats, who else am I supposed to talk to about my online shopping habits?
However, despite the objections of my inner self, I think the Backup Pants are necessary. If I had a dime for every time I found myself wishing for a pair of pants that no longer existed and were no longer for sale, well, I’d probably have a dollar. Instead, I’m left wishing I still had that pair that fit well and were comfortable and looked good with a blazer at a meeting and on a Saturday when I’m out for a drink with friends. Which is why I ignored my inner self and took the leap.
I won’t try to ruin them, but I won’t have the unreasonable anxiety that I could one day be without my pants – all thanks to Backup Pants…
Ally: I could have saved you at least an hour of anxiety (or however long it took you to write this post) by reminding you of the time when I spilled my “shot in the dark” (light roast with a shot of expresso! It was that kind of day!) all over my off-white pants.
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THIS HAPPENS?
It was humiliating enough to tweet about it. Where the fuck were my Addison chino in British Khaki then, my friend?
Speaking of Addison chino in British Khaki, can we talk about Justin Trudeau at the Calgary Stampede for a hot second?
Admittedly, something bad has happened to me after reading 50 Shades of Shit. I am now the female voter that would consider voting for Justin Trudeau for Prime Minister because he can Tim McGraw a cowboy hat. How do you Tim McGraw a cowboy hat?
I’m not saying I agree with the chest hair. “You should undo more buttons on your shirt”, said no one ever to any male in the history of the universe. I’m just stating the clear fact that he makes cowboy hats hot. L-A and Official Unpaid Intern Krista just vomited all over their keyboards. For them, I dedicate this cheesy moment in country music history:
On a Monday, no less!
P.S. I’ve been laughing to myself for the last five minutes thinking that hijacking L-A’s posts (which I do often) and turning them into conversations about Tim McGraw and Justin Trudeau, is basically the blog equivalent of the Rick Roll. Or maybe they are nothing alike, but I’m going with it.
RICK ROLLED.
Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FashionablePeople/~3/EFdKdkn4Jho/