One of my most memorable jobs while I was in university working on my psychology degree was working in a group home setting providing senior home care and companionship to three dear elderly women. It was emotionally taxing work, but highly rewarding – so much so that the 12 to 14 hour shifts I would work somehow flew by. Probably because I was doing something that I enjoyed so much despite the tears, frustration and exasperation that comes with caring for an elderly person who is not well physically or mentally or sometimes both. It’s not easy work.
When I first started the job I was trained by a woman who had worked in elderly care for many years and the first thing she told me was “the only piece of advice that you need to remind yourself of everyday is to treat these women with the same respect and compassion that you would want for your own mother or grandmother if they were in this situation”.
When you’re caring for others in such a personal and intimate setting that involves more than just running errands and watching movies, you see them in their most vulnerable states and it can be completely heart-wrenching. Sometimes I would leave work and cry the entire drive home because I was tired and burnt out and saddened (and sometimes scared) by what I saw and heard day to day. Yet I was happy that I worked my shift knowing that if one of their own family members walked into the home to check on how their loved one was doing, they would feel content in knowing they were being properly and respectfully taken care of. I often heard “it takes a certain type of person to do that job…bless you for it” and I suppose it probably comes from being from a family where all the women (my mom, aunts, grandmother, sisters) have a spirit for helping others, especially the elderly. We’re nurses, nurses assistants, hospice volunteers, elderly sitters and palliative care workers.
I’ll never forget the day that “Ruby” who had not spoken a word to me for almost a year of working with her, told me about sneaking out with her boyfriend 60 years ago and that he asked her to marry him. And the time when I helped her curl her hair and put face cream on and she gently touched my hand and said thank you. I always felt the job was more than just a sitter service or as my sister lovingly called it, “granny sitting” that I was providing for these women. It was friendship and companionship and an opportunity to help enrich their life and make their situation more enjoyable even though at times it was very uncomfortable for me. I learned what I was capable of but more importantly what the human spirit in everyone is capable of.
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