The Torture of Bad Trailers: Dinner For Schmucks, Grown Ups, After.Life

The Rack and the Iron Maiden are a couple of history’s cruelest forms of torture, but did you know that there are arguably more sadistic atrosities being committed by film studios to this very day? That’s right folks, it’s another round of trailers for bad upcoming movies.

Be sure to click the images below to link to each trailer.

The Black Waters of Echo’s Pond

Coming off like some Jumanji wannabe, The Black Waters of Echo’s Pond looks like a cheese-fest from B-movie hell. I can’t decide if the effects are worse than the acting or if it’s the other way around.

Still, that board game looks bad-ass and if Walmart stocks it, I know exactly what’s going on my wish list.

Dinner For Schmucks

I like Steve Carell. I like Paul Rudd. I really liked them together in The 40-Year-Old-Virgin. This is no 40-Year-Old-Virgin.

My rule of thumb is that if a comedy trailer can’t squeeze a laugh out of me, the movie is probably garbage. I suspect many will feel a bit underwhelmed by this trailer, unless of course dead mouse-Last Supper artwork and mangled John Lennon lyrics do it for you.

Grown Ups

The minute Adam Sandler made a cameo, I knew this one was in trouble – then David Spade and Rob Schneider showed up, and the unholy trinity of suck was completed.

Making fun of Sandler is a lot like making fun of a dog licking his crotch: it’s so easy to do, but in the end you just feel like a jerk because he doesn’t know any better.

Unthinkable

I have a mental picture of how the pitch for this movie went. “It’s a really poignant movie that will challenge the audience. They’ll have to ask themselves how far they’d be willing to go to save their homeland. It’s totally edgy and fresh social commentary! Focus groups! Demographics!”

Here’s the thing, guys. 24 has been on the air for about nine years, and this has pretty much been the plot every season. Based on this trailer, there is nothing new presented – and quite frankly, the discussion got stale a long time ago.

Oh, and by the way, Senator Entertainment? 24 just got cancelled. You might want to send this little gem straight to video.

After.Life

What.the.fuck?