Now what?


Well, I could rest.  But if I rested, I wouldn’t get to do any photo editing or blogging.  I suppose I could fiddle on the computer, but then I wouldn’t get the main room cleaned up.  And it is Valentine’s Day.  I don’t want Dan coming home to a messy house.  But if I cleaned, I won’t have a chance to shower and I’ll be completely disgusting.  And today is Valentine’s Day.  So I don’t want to be all stinky and ugly because, well, you know.

—–

And so goes the inner diatribe of my life, day in, day out, narrating my thoughts, always making sure that I’m doing my best to be a good Mom; a good wife.

In fact, I kind of didn’t even notice until a couple days ago that I was turning twenty-five on Valentine’s Day.

Okay, I knew it was my birthday.  But I didn’t really remember what age I would be turning.  25 is kind of a big deal.  It’s a quarter of a century.  I am halfway through my twenties.

I guess I didn’t really forget about it.  It just didn’t occur to me.  With everything else going on, my birthday wasn’t really a priority for me this year.

Becoming a parent really does change things.

Dan asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday.  “You mean Monday?” I asked.  “Well, you’ll go to work.  You’ll come home.  We’ll have supper.  We’ll put Cameron to bed.  And then we’ll go to bed.  We don’t really have any other options”.

Just any other day.

Except it wasn’t.

Have I mentioned before that my husband is awesome?

On Sunday night, he threw me a birthday dinner.  My cousin’s family came over and Dan had my favourite foods.  Mini quiches as an appetizer and a peanut stir fry as a main course.  There was cake and candles and singing.  There were streamers and balloons.  There was wine and friends and laughter and family.

And then yesterday morning, I woke up to a cinnamon sugar, heart shaped croissant straight from the bakery.  And there were heartfelt cards from my boys.  And an exciting birthday present.

And all of a sudden I realized that I just had the best birthday that I have had in a very long time.

It wasn’t the present.  Although completely awesome, my husband tends to give the best gifts, so I’ve been particularly blessed in that department for years.

It wasn’t the cake or the decorations or the party.  A few years back, Dan and his roommate threw a party for Kim Jong Il (did you know that our birthdays are on a similar date?  Yeah, they’re not even on the same day.  The party was so not as funny as they thought), but since I was there and Kim Jong wasn’t, I got to blow out the candles.

It wasn’t the amazing croissant or the quiche or the sitrfry.  Although I’m pretty sure the croissant was the best thing I have ever tasted, I eat food every day.  The croissant only made this particular day slightly better.

No, I think it is because this year, Cameron is around.  This year, I am a Mommy.  Being a Mom has kind of forced me to be slightly less self centered.  Because I am so concerned with the well being of my son, I really wasn’t expecting anything for my birthday this year.  I didn’t care if a big deal was made of it.  All of my energy was somewhere else and I just didn’t really think about what happened on February 14th.  And so, when my husband started pampering me and showering me with affection, I felt special.  I felt loved.  I felt needed and wanted and important.

And sometimes, that means the entire world to a Mom.

(almost) All photos taken February 14th, 2011
11 months, 1 week, 2 days old

Laura (@LauraORourke) is a photographer who lives in Halifax, Nova Scotia. A wife to Dan and a mother to Cameron, she spends her free time blogging and reading. Her blog finds its home at http://miraclesofamily.blogspot.com. Her photography can be found at http://www.olalaphotography.com.