Twisted Holiday Tales

For some people, Christmas time can be just too warm and fuzzy, a kind of sickly sweet experience.  Here are a few novels that can perhaps act as antidotes.

I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus: a Breathers Christmas carol (M
by S.G.

Browne Andy Warner has just escaped from a zombie research facility in Portland, Oregon, where he’s been subjected to experimental testing for the past year. With Christmas just days away, Andy figures that donning a jolly old St. Nick costume to throw off his would-be captors is just the ticket. But he never expects to encounter a sweet, lonesome nine-year-old girl who not only reminds Andy of the family he’s lost but who thinks he’s the real Santa. He also doesn’t count on being recognized as last year’s national quasi-celebrity by a clandestine group of decaying supporters who look to him for leadership. For the living and the undead, this unforgettable holiday tale will truly put on display just who is gnawing and who is nice…

Krampus: the Yule Lord (M)
by Brom“Returning home to his trailer one night, Jesse Walker is surprised to see some goons attacking Santa Claus as he tries to fly away in his sleigh. In the melee Santa’s magic sack falls out of the sleigh and through Jesse’s roof. Of course, possessing the sack only leads to trouble as Santa and the sack’s original owner, the trickster demon known as Krampus, are both trying to get it back. Krampus seeks vengeance against Santa and enlists Jesse’s help. Jesse is busy dealing with the corrupt cop trying to steal his wife and daughter and the local drug lord trying to kill him, but one doesn’t say no to the Yule Lord. VERDICT This illustrated horror novel by acclaimed gothic fantasy artist, illustrator, and novelist Brom (The Child Thief) is perfect for anyone who disdains a cozy, sentimental holiday story” – Library Journal

When Elves Attack: a joyous Christmas greeting from the criminal nutbars of the Sunshine State (M)
by Tim Dorsey killer and Sunshine State historian Serge A. Storms, the most endearing psychopath since Dexter Morgan, delivers his special brand of Christmas cheer. More outrageous than Santa Claus in a Speedo, this book serves up a Yuletide feast of “pure gonzo humor.” This book is much like Bad Santa and National Lampoon’s Family Vacation, and blended into the author’s trademark appetite for destruction, it becomes a hilarious crime fiction black comedy.

Sackville Manor, We Have A Cat Problem: “Snippy Snippy”

Gimme Smore of the Smore Martinis