“We’re pregnant again” she told me. Oh bliss! Oh joy! Oh the wonderful blessing of new life! When are you due? She told me, and then “but I will probably have the baby sooner because of the scheduled C-section.” What?!  You don’t want to try for a VBAC? You know if you do, you should try to find a doctor who supports you in that. Don’t just take the word of one doctor. Don’t you know that letting a baby grow in you for as long as baby wants is good for your baby? When will I learn? To stop all the judgement? To just be supportive? That none of it matters? Just love. And she has plenty of that. All these opinions. The do-this-and-not-that. The let-me-get-on-my-high-horse-so-we-can-talk. Don’t induce. Breastfeed. Attachment. Gentle. Everything that makes me better than you. In some twisted world. When will I learn? That these decisions that have little effect on the outcome of the world will drastically change the dynamic of our relationship. Because now I have built an island. One where I am unapproachable. Now I am just another judgmental Mom creating dividers between us. When will I learn? That motherhood is not a competition. We don’t need to be better than each other, just best for our kids. When will I learn? That what I need to do is reach out. Support. Spread my arms out to love and encourage and care. Those bits: the love, encouragement, caring. That’s how I can spread good parenting. That is what matters. Not the trivial things. I am a parent. Not an expert. Just someone trying desperately to get it right, for them; my kids. And she is just doing the same thing. That’s the important stuff. That’s the stuff that matters. The stuff that Mommyhood is made of. ...