Hey guys. I feel so bad how inconsistent I am with these posts. If we were in a relationship right now, I wouldn’t blame you if you left me for another blogger. But please don’t! I’m promise I’ll do better. Honest.

 

 

Big Brother – Eviction #2

When I last reviewed, it was Danielle and Jojo up on the block. It seemed pretty obvious that Danielle was a goner and was taking Dan with her… but as we see the tides turn. But how?

Don’t be a jerk, watch where you flirt

We may think innocent flirting is no big deal, but in the Big Brother house it can be the beginning of your downfall. Follow me on a journey:

We start off the show with Shane, Jojo and Ian getting ready for bed in the “Have Not” room. Once the lights are out Shane and Jojo start to tease Ian and make him feel uncomfortable by saying outrageous things. The two joke how they want to climb on top of each other. Now, any regular person could see that these two were just joking but poor Ian took it way too seriously. We cut to Ian telling this story to Danielle. Danielle, who is Shane’s current flirting partner, was shocked to hear this news. She was certain that Shane and her were a couple. I mean, he occasionally tickles her, and isn’t that the basis of every relationship?

Like any girl who is dealing with the pangs of jealousy, Danielle finds comfort in other girls aching for a bitch fest. Enter Janelle and Ashley. The girls feel bad for her and agree Shane should only be flirting with Danielle. Then Janelle has an epiphany, if there is “showmance” starting in the house, it must be stopped before it becomes unbreakable. And just like that, Danielle saved herself in the Big Brother house. Finally, a woman’s crazy jealousy pays off.

“Yah, ok, yah, yah, I know, ok, yah I know, yah.”

Britney notices Danielle, Janelle, and Ashley cuddling and laughing in the bed and tells Jojo she is officially in trouble. Jojo replies with, “Yah, ok, yah, yah, I know, ok, yah I know, yah.” Britney thinks maybe it’s time for Jojo to stop talking. It really is funny how much Jojo talks and DOESN’T LISTEN!

An appointment with Dr. Will (with two “L’s”)

Oh Dr. Will, you really are a legend with this game. Dr. Will provides us his take on how the show is going so far.

• Boogie – He has lovely memories of Boogie and is proud that he picked a good team.
• Dan- He thinks if Kermit the Frog and Ryan Seacrest had a baby, it would be Dan. Excellent burn.
• Britney – If one of her players was ejected from the house for violent behavior, that’s the sign of a bad coach.
• Janelle – She is a grade A flirt and fierce competition. We are treated to old footage of Janelle and Will flirting.

My favorite part of this segment was Will’s prediction of Ian being the winner. What do you think?

Eviction Time – Hot girl or hot girl with extra make-up

It’s time for eviction. Jojo’s speech sounded like she knew she was going. She mentioned that she “almost” won competitions. She was really grasping at straws people. I forgot what Danielle’s speech was about because I was too distracted by her terrible Say Yes to the Dress mess of a dress. (I love to rhyme, all the time.)

Everyone votes to evict Jojo except for Shane. Bye Jojo! During her exit interview Jojo rambled on and on and said a lot of generic things. I can see why Britney got so frustrated. I laughed after Britney’s goodbye message because Jojo finished it off by saying, “Yeah, I know, yeah, I know, yeah yeah, I got it.” Will she ever learn?

Slapshot – HOH Competition

The housemates have to hit a ball with a hockey stick towards columns with different numbers. Whoever has a ball land in the highest number wins. The game plays out like this.

Ashley – 4
Joe – 3
Jenn – 0
Ian – 9
Wil – 2
Shane – 20
Danielle – 12

Shane is the winner! Good for him, but so annoying. Would it kill a non-coach girl to win a competition? I am so sick of the men being HOH. Now, Shane will be in power and Frank will suck up to him. Blah Blah!

America’s Vote AKA Producers Need Drama

Julie informs us that America has a big choice to make, no not that silly election in November, a real life changing vote. Should the coaches go into the game? Or should they remain coaches? I think since the show lost so many housemates in such a short period of time the producers realized they were in trouble. I personally want the coaches to stay coaches. If they become players then they will dominant like last season and we will end up with Danielle and Jenn in the final three with a veteran. (If this prediction is correct, holy crap!)

Other Thoughts

• Janelle is 5’9”? I’m 5’9”!
• I was right; if you flirt with Shane… it’s the kiss of death.
• Ian uses too much tongue when he kisses. Someone, please help him.

Big Brother – Nominations #3

This episode was a little boring and predictable. Alas, I still write a review.

Letting the sucking up commence!

Shane and Britney are happy they are in control. Everyone who turned their back on them last week begin to suck up this week. It was so awkward when Shane showed his HOH room and everyone stopped talking and refused to be the first person to leave the room. We’ve all been there. You know when a party is kind of lame but you don’t want to be that jerk who just… leaves.

Let’s be Frank about Frank

While Britney and Danielle pressure Shane to nominate Frank, Shane wants to keep his word from last week and suggests they remove Wil. Why does Shane have a hate on for Wil? It’s the hair right?

Feel the Burn – The Coaches’ Competition

At today’s competition, the coaches are dressed up in bright neon 80′s work out gear. It was a great gag but when Boogie came out I thought, “Isn’t this what he normally wears?”

This had to be one of the funniest and cringe worthy competitions EVER! Coaches had to do as many of a specific exercise within a minute. Whichever coach did the least was out but got a prize or a punishment. But these reps aren’t your average squat or push-up, these are more…well….let this classic video help me illustrate.

Rep #1: The Bootie Scootie: Imagine a rowing machine without the arms and you just have to move your butt. That’s what the bootie scootie was. Coaches had to move the seat up and down the track as many times as they could. Hilarity ensued! There is no way one could do this without looking like, well you know what I mean.

I did not want to see Boogie make this face ever again!

Eliminated: Britney (Don’t feel bad for her, feel bad for her husband.)

Her Prize/Punishment: Britney had to dole out the slop to two players. Ian volunteers himself and she chooses Joe because he hasn’t been on slop yet. (Ian believes if he keeps taking punishments, people will keep him on the show. Ian needs to eat normal food soon, he can’t afford to lose any more body fat. He might become “emancipated” as Ashley calls it.)

Rep #2: Hip-2-Hip Extreme: We all know that dance “the bump” right? Well try to do as many in a minute.

Eliminated: Boogie

Prize or Punishment: Boogie wins $10,000 he can share with two other people. The increments are $6,000, $3,000 and $1,000. Boogie immediately gives himself the $6,000 and then gives Ian the $3,000 and Jen gets the $1,000. When Ian hears the news, he begins to cry. He states he’s a poor student and this will do wonders. My heart melts.

Rep #3: Tounge Trainer – How on earth did this get past the censors? Coaches have to move a bar back and forth not with their hands but with their tongues. Oh my God!

Eliminated: Dan (again, feel bad for his wife)

His prize or punishment: Dan wins a sushi party that he can invite 5 other people to. First, he invites the coaches because as a professional coach himself, he states you have to take care of the other coaches. In reality, Dan just doesn’t want any of the coaches to be alone with housemates while he is not around. Good call! He then invites Shane (again, another person sucking up) and finally he chooses his last player, Danielle.

Janelle is the winner and can decide to switch a player or save a player. She already saved Ashley, so this time she saves Wil. Wah-oh! Now who is Shane’s target?

I want you to feel the way I feel

Seconds before Shane has to make his nomination decision he still is discussing it with Britney. During this conversation the Big Brother voice, aka a producer, calls Shane to the diary room like five times. It was very tense. Will he do what his coach says and put up Frank or will he keep his not so secret alliance?

In the end Shane puts up Ashely and Joe. His reasoning, Janelle’s team hasn’t been nominated and should know what it feels like. Just tell the truth Shane, you’re whipped by Boogie and Frank.

Other Thoughts

• Joe’s attempt to suck up was awesome. He made the most delectable breakfast for Shane. It was so obvious, but hell, I would LOVE breakfast in bed. (I hope the bf is reading)
• The segment about Jenn’s coming out story was nice but the producers just had to show Danielle’s small town view.
• Ashley and I have something in common. I recently made a dream board when I was looking for a job and within two weeks got my dream job. I highly recommend you trying. And that’s my life tip of the week.

Big Brother – POV #3

You better nut up and just suck it up

Now that Janelle’s team is on the nomination block she encourages her players to start talking to Shane and get on his good side. Wil says they are not ass kissers but Janelle tells all of them they just have to SUCK IT UP!

Joe is first to give Shane the white flag.  He starts off by saying Shane is the best player in the game. Shane replies that he should have known this two weeks ago. And just like that, Joe’s cover is blown and he tells Shane how angry and upset he is. Someone should so an time elapse to see how quickly that mood change happened.

Keep your balls in the air – POV Competition

Today’s extra players for the POV competition are Wil, Danielle, and Frank. The BB back yard has turned into a circus and the players are dressed like clowns. The players stand between two ramps with two balls. The aim of the game is to push a ball up a ramp and before it hits the ground roll the next ball up the second ramp, and then go back and roll up the ball from the first ramp and then…sorry. You see where I am getting at? Just make sure your balls don’t hit the ground.

The game starts and the players are eliminated like so, Wil, Joe, Frank, Danielle and then it’s down to Ashley and Shane. Ashley has a one handed technique that is working for her, but eventually she drops it. Shane wins the third POV of the year! He’s got’s the power!

“Here, take my ring.”

After POV, Janelle does some MAJOR work trying to convince Britney and Shane to use the POV and back door Frank. Janelle is so willing to trust Shane and Britney she gives them her wedding ring to hold onto for three weeks. What is up with ladies giving their wedding rings? Remember when Shelly from last season did this? Remember how her ring was a fake? If I was on the show I would just take it and say, “Thank you for the ring. It’s really nice.”

To finish off her planning Janelle convinces Joe one last time to be nice to Shane. Joe swallows his pride and tells Shane to save him. He swears on the lives of his children, his parents and wife that he would do anything for Shane if saved. I not quite sure but I think he threw in the lives of his dog and cat for good measure.

Sushi Party Leads to Kissy Kissy

As this segments begins I think, “Oh right, Dan is still on this show.” Did he give up on actually coaching? Anyway, Dan, the coaches, Danielle and Shane enjoy the sushi party Dan won last episode. Boogie is embarrassed that some of the housemates ask for a fork to eat the sushi. Hey Boogie! Eating sushi the first time is hard. It happened to me.

The night of the sushi party is also Wil’s birthday. Wil decides to make his own fun for his bday. I will let the following image show you how Wil likes to party.

(Note to Jill, next time you throw a party, can this somehow be incorporated?)

(Ed. Note from Jill: Nautical themed bachelorette party, perhaps?)

After the sushi party, everyone enjoys the festivities and a game of spin the bottle commences. Ashley and Ian kiss. Poor Ian went in for the kill while Ashley kept pretty tight lipped. Shane and Danielle finally kiss and I couldn’t be less interested.

“Not a foreseeable option”

I love how Ian says one thing and the whole house flips upside down. Britney casually asks Ian if Shane will be safe if Ian wins HOH. Ian decides to not say yes or no and instead says, “It’s not a foreseeable option.” Britney did not like that odd answer and tells Shane. Shane interprets the comment that Boogie is still after him after all the deals he made to keep Frank safe. So Shane wants to turn on Frank. I love how Ian’s awkwardness causes so much turmoil in the house. Again, why did people start to turn on Jojo? Because Ian couldn’t tell when people were joking.

POV Ceremony

Ashley makes a hippie dippy speech that makes me question if the BB producers checked her bag when she came in. Joe started his speech with, “The president of the United States has the Power to Veto…”, then everyone made a cringe face including myself at home. After that embarrassment, Shane takes off Ashley and replaces him with Frank. Did you see how fast Boogie left the room after that?

Shane says in the diary room that he wants to make Frank think he isn’t the target because Frank really IS the target. I know I just watched this show, but why did Shane turn again? Was it really that one comment from Ian?

Other Thoughts

• I officially have put my TV on mute whenever I see Joe in the diary room. My mom was watching with me and she asks, “Who is this? I want to guzzle him.” I have grown up with my Mom threatening to guzzle people and still to this day not really know what it means.
• Britney’s impression of Joe was pretty dead on. Her Jojo impression was also pretty good; she has a talent for these things.
• I loved when Janelle states Boogie is most likely scheming somewhere and they cut to Boogie discussing his workout routine. Good editing BB!
• And finally, take this shirt off NOW! Dartmouth, NS already has a bad rap. You wearing this jersey doesn’t help. (And yes, I know this Jersey is for Dartmouth College.)

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