You know a cycle is getting a little sleepy when the host/creator/producer/Tyra says that it’s uninteresting. I didn’t hate this episode of America’s Next Top Model, but there’s no doubt that it’s sort of becoming The Ann Show. It’s becoming a lose-lose situation. If Ann wins, I’ll whine that it was predictable. If Ann doesn’t win, I’ll whine that she was robbed. So, you know. Brace yourselves for some complaining when we get to the finale.

Play the part for Wal-Mart

Well folks, it was CoverGirl time on ANTM on Wednesday night, also known as Ann’s very temporary fall from grace. Look, I like Ann. She’s a great model. But spokeswoman she is not, and watching her bomb the CoverGirl challenge was a welcome break from the rave reviews she receives week after week. After week.

For the CoverGirl challenge the girls were split into three groups:

Note to self: If I’m ever auditioning for a reality show I should remember to destroy all awkward teen photos of myself. How did the ANTM producers get their hands on that horrid photo of Ann looking sad and holding a sandwich? They show it every time she talks about being awkward! Which is every episode!

 

We heard a lot about how Chelsey really really wants to win, which made me think she’d fail miserably and get eliminated. It’s only a matter of time. The girls had to make presentations to a focus group about the CoverGirl smokey eye kits. Group one was pretty mellow – Ann was particularly silent. Group two was pretty good, and I thought Kacey stood out as the best. In group three Chris came across as really down-to-earth and charming, but Chelsey was too nervous. The girls were being judged by…I don’t know, some dude who wrote a book called “Classy”, but they also got to see the feedback the focus group gave.

Everyone said Ann seemed uncomfortable, they liked that Kayla said she was sporty, they thought Kacey seemed friendly and that Chris seemed overbearing. That one surprised me, I thought she did well. But I’d probably be described as overbearing too. Ann predictably scored the lowest of all the girls, and Kacey – the girl everyone in the house hates – scored the highest. Group two (Kacey’s group) won the challenge, so they won a bunch of makeup and stuff.

I have a bone to pick with Liz. She said Kacey won because she was loud and fake and that she could have done that and won as well, but she’s not fake. Well guess what, Liz? Ya didn’t. Presentations are all about faking it. Faking more confidence than you have, faking an interest in the topic, faking a more bubbly personality than usual. You turn it on. It’s not being “fake”, it’s performing.

These boots weren’t made for walking

For the photo shoot, all the girls were shooting in pairs, except for Chris who was paired with a male model. Chelsey moaned about the fact that she was paired with Ann, and therefore would be outshone. With that attitude, who wouldn’t be?I did feel bad for Chelsey though – she was the only girl who was really excited about working with Patrick Demarchelier, and it intimidated her. Usually knowledge of the fashion world works in a models favor, but in Chelsey’s case I’m not sure it did.

I loved how Jane was styled for this shoot, and Kacey recognized that she was posing with some stiff competition. She let the pressure get to her too, because she was uninspiring at the shoot. Ann had trouble dealing with the crowded street where they were shooting. The movement the shoot required didn’t help disguise her awkwardness either. Kendal was adorably excited to be on Rodeo Drive feeling like a celebrity. Kayla was mopey because her outfit was ugly and her shoes didn’t fit. And how cute did Chris look in her pink outfit? It was nice to see her girly side emphasized. She’s one girl who is really growing on me. 

I loved Tyra’s attempt at French during the backstage shot – she was really good! Much better than me, and I was forced into French classes until I was 14 years old. But I digress, let’s talk photos.

Kendal and Liz: Fantastic photo! I have to say though, I noticed Liz’s hat more than I noticed her face. Kendal’s walking shot was especially great, and she made the garment look gorgeous. Liz’s walking shot seemed stiff and cheesy – Tyra was right, it was like she was making fun.

Esther and Kayla: Esther looked stunning in the group shot, but Kayla just looked weird. But seriously, how cute did Esther look? Her walking shot was also fantastic, but I hated Kayla’s. Her arms and legs were spread out too much and she looked manly.

Jane and Kacey: Wow, the girls on the left were really rocking these photos. Jane looked stunning, but Kacey’s face was at a weird, snobbish looking angle. Jane looked like a real model, and her walking shot was probably her best this season. Kacey’s shot was weak because you couldn’t see her face, but I still think she has potential.

Chelsey and Ann: Nigel liked this shot best of all, but I thought it was just so-so. Chelsey looked fantastic, but I didn’t like the way Ann’s mouth was. It wasn’t as awkward as she looked in person though- Tyra’s impression was hilarious. I loved Ann’s walking shot though, it was all kinds of adorable. And I love red converse sneakers. Chelsey also delivered a great, commercial looking shot.

Chris: Chris’s outfit was so cute that she could have been doing an ugly cry and I would have liked it, but she looked adorable. I loved the way she was holding hands with the guy, and her smile looked very natural. ALT didn’t get a zing from it, though. Her walking shot was even better – she looked young, and I wasn’t sure it was possible for Chris to look young.

During the judges’ deliberation we got to see some beauty shots, and Liz’s definitely helped redeem her. Kendal produced another killer photo, as did Esther. Esther is a bit of a dark horse in this competition. Kayla’s shot was poor. She looked like a bitter punk kid. Jane looked stunning, but the judges didn’t seem that impressed. But for reals, she took my breath away. Kacey’s beauty shot was better than her group shot, but it was still just OK. I actually expected much more from Ann’s beauty shot than I saw – I thought it was sub-par, for Ann. Chelsey’s beauty shot was one of her better photos, but the judges don’t seem sold on her. I thought Chris’s photo wasn’t as good as her other two, but she showed a great range of facial expressions among the three.

So who would get best photo? Same person who gets best photo every week, readers…Ann. Did she deserve it this week? I don’t think she did. I liked Jane, Chris, Esther and Kendal better. At this point, I’m starting to think the girls might gang up and kill her in her sleep. Next up was Jane, then Kendal, Esther, Chris, Chelsey and Liz. Liz was lucky that Kacey and Kayla produced such weak shots, because her photos weren’t anything to write home about.

So who deserved to go, Kacey or Kayla? I see more potential and more drive in Kacey. As I say every week, CHEEKBONES. Cheek. Bones. Instead, Tyra kept Kayla. I don’t see that much potential in variety in Kayla, but maybe she’ll prove me wrong. And when it comes down to it, neither girl seemed like a candidate for winner. Buh-bye, Kacey. She seemed like she got a bad edit this season – she wasn’t nearly as combative as some previous house mean girls. Maybe she can score a marketing gig with CoverGirl?