There is something so absolutely perfect about that statement and I thank Peabody a million times over for leaving those words of wisdom to me in the comments of my last post!  She said:

Some days it’s not about the motivation, it’s about the discipline.
When I played organized hockey, our locker room had the quote "Discipline before Desire" written across it. I remember that always. It’s what got me to 6am practice.
It’s what got me to the gym today even though I just wanted to stay in bed.
It’s what gets me up at 6am on Sunday mornings to the rink to play pick up with my friends.
It’s what helps me chose butternut squash over general tao chicken. Somedays the chicken wins out though. 😉

Hang in there. Know, that I hardly ever have motivation. But I do have discipline.

Think about that for a second.  Isn’t that the ultimate truth?!  It is the discipline in every single aspect of life that makes the difference, not the desire.

I thank each and every one of you for your comments (always) because there were some excellent words of encouragement and wisdom found there that helped me to feel like I’m on my way back “up” (and not on the scale!) 😀

Carol said:

Our leader likes to say, "when you’ve had a ‘bad’ week (for what ever reason) that’s when you need your meeting…when you’ve had a ‘good’ week, that’s when your meeting needs you!" All you can do is deal with today (another one of Faye’s pearls of wisdom)…so don’t worry about what happened yesterday, as it’s done, and none of us have any idea what tomorrow is going to bring.
You are a great motivation to all of us out here in Blogger-land, and don’t you ever forget how awesome you are, regardless of what the number on the scale says!
🙂

Thank you Carol, that is sooo unbelievably true!  I am a new meetings member, but I see the truth in that even at this stage.

So last night was Zumba night again for the Halibloggers and while not all of us made were able to make it, Tammi was there all ready to Zumba with us too.  It was Lynn’s first class and god love her is all I have to say.  You could tell she just didn’t like it and was gritting her teeth through it, but she did it and she sweat and that was the main thing.  She’s not a fan, but at least she gave it a try!

It ended up being a lower intensity class (so says my HRM), but I also wasn’t into it very much.  I had a really unfortunate incident on my way there where a kitty cat ran out in front of me and I hit him with my car! *sobs*  I ended up reacting hysterically (of course) and thought the worst, pulled over onto a side street and ran trying to find him.  I called Lesley because she was just up the road (she and Lynn and I met for a coffee at Local Joe’s beforehand) and she came to help me find him.  I was all crying and everything and thankfully there was a pedestrian there to saw us and who also saw me hit the cat and he said that the cat ran away over to some houses and it couldn’t have been really hurt by the way he ran away.

I love that guy.

I of course still cried all my way to Zumba and I contemplated not going, but I went because my girls were there and I thought that was the place I needed to be the most in all aspects of the situation.  Thank you ladies for helping me feel better.  Tammi even had me laughing more than once.  That girl cracks me up ;-)  Lesley deserves some sort of crisis friend award by the way she just showed up out of no where like a friend superhero hugging me on the street and talked to the pedestrian while I was all crying! 

Thank you, you superstar friend *mwah*

Soooo, back to this “discipline before desire” stuff.  Tonight when I got home from work, I had the usual ideas and plan to get to the gym.  I decided that I would make supper first because I’ve recently discovered that I have a waaayyyy better and harder workouts after I’ve eaten supper and am sufficiently fueled and I can focus.  For supper I had a delicious salad, steamed beets and a fish cake (homemade from a place in spring garden place mall) and a side of chow (it was awesome!) and then my “old” thought patterns attempted to emerge where I would try to cop out and not go to the gym. 

I now live about 8 minutes from the gym so it’s really not that big of an ordeal to go.

Then I got on Twitter and told all my tweeps that I was having a hard time feeling motivated to go and sure enough, my tweeps did not let me down and next thing I know I’m getting changed and I’m out the door!

I decided I’d hit up the treadmill and I did 45 hard minutes plus cool down.  I was a sweaty beast and I outran a guy and a girl on either side of me who got on after me and got off before me.  10 minutes of it I ran it HIIT which  had me HR in the high 170’s and there was only once when I slowed down enough so I could take a drink without poking myself in the nose! lol  I ended it all off with some upper body weights.

During the workout, I was able to clearly recognize how much differently I was thinking during the workout compared to before.  Normally I’d be watching the time tick by soooo slowly and hating it.  This time, and really for the last 4 weeks, I’ve been grinning and beaming from the inside feeling so strong and athletic that I almost don’t recognize myself! 

I seriously have no idea where it came from, but it was like I have FINALLY removed that script from my head!

I mean GOD you guys!!  It’s only taken what? THREE YEARS?!  But seriously, it’s come when I was ready to let it come.  I am pretty sure that having suffered some pretty serious injuries in our car accident 3 and a half years ago when I was still extremely overweight played a major roll in my reluctance in pushing out of my comfort zone, for fear of re-injuring myself or hindering my rehab.  It’s a very difficult and fine line to walk, but I’m getting there I’m trusting myself and what I am capable of and it feels empowering.

So much so that I think the Bluenose Marathon this year holds quite a bigger race for me in May 2010 😉