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Emmy Awards Red Carpet Fashions – The Good, The Bland, and The Ugly

Sure, I love the Emmys themselves. But I love watching the red carpet even more, and this year my favorite TV stars didn’t disappoint. There was an awful lot of red, but there were many beautiful dresses and I ended up with more Best Dressed celebrities than Worst. So, let’s start with the bad, shall we?

The Ugly

 13. Kristen Wiig – Why can’t the funny women of SNL ever manage to pull it together for a red carpet? For years, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler have been disappointing me, and now Kristen Wiig too. I mean, brown? And showing off your bony chest? Why?

12. Maria Bello – The weird pattern on this dress did her no favors.

11. Jane Krakowski – Yet another funny lady who doesn’t know how to dress. The oompa loompa tan and bleached hair are just not working for her.


10. Julie Bowen – Julie Bowen and I rarely see eye to eye when it comes to fashion. She really likes to see a lot of her chest exposed. I don’t. 

9. Paula Abdul – I don’t know whether to blame wonky plastic surgery or a bad fit here, but something’s off.

8. Olivia Munn – Oh, man! I really like Olivia, this color is beautiful, and she’s smokin’ hot. But this gown is ill-fitting in all the worst ways.

7. Julianna Margulies – The top of her dress looked like a space ship. I’m pretty sure we were all just waiting for her to take off to Mars so we can have a shot at her hot husband.

6. Amy Poehler – Oh, Amy. Um, beautiful color? But super-tight and super-shiny really does no one justice. This looks like a fancy futuristic outfit. Did you arrive of Julianna Margulies’ space ship?

5. Paz de la Huerta – Paz is generally a mess, so I’m actually just surprised she has a dress on. I am not surprised that she looks like a slutty extra from The Walking Dead.

4. Drew Barrymore – What’s going on here, Drew? Did you make your gown from various draperies? Because a brocade turtleneck with a fringed miniskirt and longer sheer gown is a bold choice.

3. Taraji P. Henson – This is a very sparkly sack.

2. Heidi Klum – Was this inspired by cauliflower?

1. Gwyneth Paltrow – Bare. Midriff. Enough said.

The Bland
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Padma Lakshmi

 That’s a pretty dress, Padma, but I bet from far away you looked naked.

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Claire Danes

Is this from the 80s? Is that vintage now?


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The women of Charlie’s Angels

In particular, I had higher expectations for you, Minka Kelly.

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Aimee Teegarden, Kelly Osbourne, Jenna Ushkowitz

Speaking of higher expectations, all of these women could have done so much better. I’m pretty sure I saw Jenna’s dress on Saturday, only it was part of a Lady Gaga costume at the Halloween store.

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Julia Stiles, Jennifer Carpenter

Look, it’s the women of Dexter! Kind of literally, if rumors are to be believed. Both dresses are pretty bland, but if it’s any consolation Jennifer, I think you won.

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Rashida Jones, Julianne Hough

These ladies were pretty in pink, but kind of look like they’re about to attend prom.

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Kelly MacDonald

If I were on a period drama, I’d want to wear something modern and sexy. Not a dress you’d wear to a fancy 1984 funeral.

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Nina Dobrev, Kerry Washington, Kate Winslet

Just three of the many, many red dresses we saw on Sunday night. They all look fine, but just did not stand out from the crowd. (Also, when/why did Kerry Washington get so skinny?)

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Katie Holmes, Melissa McCarthy, Jane Lynch

Now these ladies got the color right, but not the dress. Katie looks like she just came from the gym, put her ill-fitting dress on backwards and threw on a belt. Melissa’s dress was made from a material that looked wrinkled, and Jane’s strapless gown wasn’t nearly as flattering as the ones she wore while hosting.

The Good – Honorable Mentions
Like I said, there were a lot of beautiful dresses this year. That meant I had way more than ten women in my “good” category, so I had to add a spot for honorable mentions. 
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Adrianne Palicki, Tami Taylor

My favorite women from FNL. Sure, they’re both in ubiquitous red. But Adrianne’s dress says “Who cares if Wonder Woman didn’t work out? I’m here to remind you that I’m incredibly beautiful and was on Friday Night Lights.” And I just love Tami Taylor.

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Ariel Winter, Jayma Mays, Zooey Deschanel (with Will Arnett)

Pretty in pink done right. Ariel Winter is super young, looks beautiful and, I think, age appropriate. I bet a lot of people will hate both Jayma and Zooey’s dresses, but I loved them. Zooey’s had pockets! I love dresses with pockets.

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Naya Rivera, Evan Rachel Wood

I don’t always love black, but both of these women were thisclose to making my top ten list. I think this is the best Naya has ever looked, so sexy and understated. And Evan is just epitomizing old Hollywood glamor.

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Cat Deeley, Emily Blunt

Again, these gowns almost ended up in the top ten. Both beautiful, but just not quite my favorites.

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Dianna Agron, Loretta Devine

OK, we can all agree that the color of Dianna Agron’s vintage gown is breathtaking, right? And from there, we’ll all disagree on the cut. Some loved it, more hated it. I agree it was ill-fitting, but I still thought she looked gorgeous. As for Loretta Devine, I loved the color and style of this gown on her – but I could have done with less cleavage.

The Good – The Top Ten
10. Heather Morris – I hardly ever like ruffles, but I think Heather pulled it off here. She looked beautiful, and I didn’t see this color on anyone else. 

9. Aubrey Plaza – Wow! In this classic white gown, Aubrey showed a completely different side than what we see on Parks and Recreation. So glamorous.
  
8. Kaley Cuocu – I loved the polka dot fabric of Kaley’s dress, and I thought the red shoes and purse were the perfect accessories for a bit of a retro feel. 
 7. Christina Hendricks – Christina is stunning, but she doesn’t have an easy body to dress. This gown fit her perfectly and showed off her curves in all the right ways. 
 6. Martha Plimpton – I’m pretty sure everyone watching the Emmys said “Daaaaaamn” when Martha joined her fellow lead actress nominees on stage. She was the best dressed one up there! 
 5. Elisabeth Moss – This was such a beautiful going that I’m willing to overlook how Elisabeth’s hairstyle kind of made her forehead look big. 
 4. Sofia Vergara –  I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed, but Sofia is very sexy. Sometimes she can be too obvious or over the top, but this look hit just the right note. 
3. Cobie Smulders – The color? Absolutely stunning, and she really stood out in the crowd. As soon as I saw this gown, I knew it would be one of my favorites from the night.
 2. Lea Michele – Yeah, it was one of many a red dress, but it was easily my favorite. It was simple, elegant and sexy. I loved the detailed shoulders and the draping in the back. The one thing keeping it from the top spot? I really, really think she should have worn her hair up. 
 1. Sarah Hyland – Lea’s hair meant that Modern Family‘s Sarah Hyland took the #1 spot on my list. I loved this shade of pink on her, and I thought the gown (which she helped design) was the perfect balance of glamorous and youthful. Her hair looked great and overall, I just thought she knocked it out of the park. 
So, those are my lists! What did you guys think? Who won the red dress war? Who was your favorite? Who totally blew it?

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