Emmys 2013: The good, the bad, the boring

L-A: While the Emmys themselves were a giant bag of awful (I quit not long after the bedazzled Elton John tribute to Liberace in order to watch a 2009 series starring Rupert Penry-Jones), the red carpet was a marked improvement over previous years.

It wasn’t every lady in shades of beige or red. So let’s jump on in:

The Good

There was actual good! It felt like celebs finally decided to bring the dress porn to the carpet again.

Lady Mary/Michelle Dockery

Emmys-2013-Michelle-Dockery

Well, played. At least from the back. I like the colours, I like that it’s not all same-same as we’ve seen in previous years, I like the big bow at the back of the neck. Basically, I just like Lady Mary.

Kiernan Shipka

Emmys-2013-Kiernan-Shipka

Usually my response to this kid is, “what’s the big effing deal?” Mostly because I hate almost every moment Sally Draper is on my TV screen that I associate the poor actress with those feelings at all times. But when I saw a picture of this dress, my immediate thoughts were: bravo! age appropriate! super cute! (in hindsight, I wonder if you could put a belt with it?)

Mindy Kaling

Emmys-2013-Mindy-Kaling

I love her, I love her style and I want to love her show (but I just can’t). My love extends to this dress. She looks fantastic and as a girl who is very big on sleeves, I really appreciate the sleeves on this number.

The Bad

Let’s face it, we can’t love every dress and that’s part of what we love about the red carpet. Unless of course you’re Kelly and Ross on E! and then you think every single goddamn dress is fabulous and fantastic and the best thing to ever happen to fabric.

Zosia Mamet

Emmys-2013-Zosia-Mamet

This dress is a total, “thanks for playing, try again next year!” sort of deal. I like the print. I like the fit. I like the skirt. But I’m horribly confused by her leather boobs and the white bib attached to them.

January Jones

emmys-2013-january-jones

On the upside, she wasn’t trying so hard to show us she isn’t Betty Draper. On the downside, she wore Betty Draper’s curtains as a skirt. The dusty rose is the worst.

Claire Danes

Emmys-2013-Clarie-Danes

Maybe it’d be nice if it wasn’t falling off her? I figure if you can name drop a designer, you can afford to have that shit tailored to fit your teeny frame. But big ups on the faux bob. She looks amazing from the neck up.

The I Guess It Photographs Well

Some dresses just look better when they’re not moving.

Kerry Washington

Emmys-2013-Kerry-Washington

Maybe she was tardy to the party and that’s why we didn’t see her have awkward conversations with Giuliana or Ryan Seacrest. Maybe she really hates the 360 dress cam and the mani-cam as much as I do. These are some of the reasons I’m guessing explain why we didn’t see much of her dress on TV last night. So while it looks great here, I’m suspicious. Because I saw feathers on her boobs in the brief moment I did see her on the red carpet.

The Giant Bag of Crazy

Melissa Leo

I can’t find an image yet, but Melissa Leo wins an award for what she wore to present.

Julianne Hough

65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals

I’m still processing this one. Granny panties + sheer curtains + an ill-fitting top? Way to try something different, I guess.

The Boring

Less dresses fall under this category this year, but some people forgot to have fun with their dresses or do something that would either elicit love or hate from us. Because while the awards are all about celebrating themselves, I think celebs need to remember they are dressing up for our amusement these days. Wear what you want the rest of the year. Amuse me when you’re on the red carpet.

Sofia Vergara

Because she wore exactly what you expected and it meant NPH could make jokes about her boobs. Yay?

65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals

Zoey Deschanel

It’s pretty enough, but it’s just kind of meh.

emmys-2013-zoey-deschanel

Okay, those are my picks for this year. I probably could have found things to say about all the dresses, but that would take all day. So, who did I miss? Any big loves/hates for you?

Transit Bus Hits Pedestrian

Joe Bray

RCMP seek assistance locating missing man, Guysborough County, N.S.