Getting Closer To Words

The sheet is blank. There are no words. Well, now there are. Thirteen, to be exact. And now nineteen. And just like that, the sheet isn’t blank anymore.

Something was said, by me actually. From my brain to my fingers, from my fingers to my keyboard, from my keyboard via Bluetooth to my iPad, from my iPad to the web browser, and eventually, from my web browser, copy and pasted, to the dashboard of my blog. From there it just needs to get to your eyes. How we use language and these tools to communicate is amazing and I can’t help but love it.

I love writing. I’ve been doing it since, like, forever. I am pretty sure I used to dictate made-up poems to my parents when I was no older than Gavin is now. It is interesting being a parent now and realizing that this isn’t something all children do. It is what I did, and what I still do. I just have different tools (thank you Mom and Dad for your service). Writing is part of my core.

Sometimes I wonder if I’ll blog forever. I think the answer is that I will, in some form or another. I have been blogging for the entirety of my adult life. I have been blogging for longer than I’ve known my husband, of which I have no trouble reminding him during those few occasions when he has suggested I stop. And I have stopped before, but I have always come back, maybe in a new form or a new place, but I have come back.

Lately I have noticed a large disconnect between my writing and my blogging, which makes very little sense. I started blogging because it was an avenue for me to write. Now, for me, blogging has evolved into being about connecting, promoting, sharing, searching, linking, imagery, and – oh yes – writing. All in all, those things are not bad. They are the components that make me love blogging, help me get my words read, and sometimes even be reimbursed for the work. The connections made to other humans is what makes blogging so personal. I take pride in being able to take beautiful photos to illustrate my words. I love these parts of blogging and that they help my words be read, but when taken as a whole, it can take the joy out of the whole process.

Last month I attended a local one-day blog conference called #BlogJam2015. I had been invited to run a session but I didn’t, because all I felt qualified to talk about was burnout, without any tips on how to get out of it. I was deep in the midst of a blogging burnout and wasn’t even willing to apologize for it because the only people I owe something to is my family and my family has been growing and requiring more of my time and I refuse to feel guilty about that. I was growing tired of the extra bells and whistles of blogging, wishing to go back to the time when I just wrote ad published, wrote and published. I think that’s what we call “nostalgia”.

Hi #BlogJam2015! This is me! I’m here! I’m excited!!!!

A photo posted by Laura O’Rourke (@lauralorourke) on