Guest Post: Melissa Millar – New Year, New You

Ally: As L-A said, we’ve been radio silent. For those of you working today, or checking the blog while downing the last of your Bailey’s and coffee. Here’s a great guest post from Melissa Millar, a fitness guru in HRM. Enjoy!

N ever say never!

E nsure you keep an open mind.

W ake up and start every day with positive thoughts.

Have you ever wondered why you seem to keep making the same mistakes over and over again? Or, why each time you try to break a bad habit you repeatedly fall off the wagon?


Consider your expectations……no-one knows exactly how things will turn out when you take that first step. It is always possible for the unexpected to happen. Instead, approach every new step, every attempted change, with no expectations of the results.  When you expect a certain result you are setting yourself up for disappointment if it does not happen exactly the way you planned.

Take for example, Kate, who is trying to lose weight. If Kate works consistently hard over a significant period of time by exercising and eating well, there is a great chance her body will begin to change. That change however is often an internal shift from fat tissue to muscle tissue. Since this will mean either little, or no change to the number on the scale, Kate has a choice; feel disappointed that her actions did not reap the expected rewards, or be happy that positive changes have occurred even though they are felt in a different way. What choice would you make?

Every time you fail to meet your expectations the most common response is to either beat yourself up about it, or blame someone or something else. Both of these responses probably generate guilt, sadness, frustration and negativity, which start that vicious spiral back into your old ways.

The next time you take steps to break a bad habit try approaching it with an open mind and a positive attitude. If you get the appropriate guidance from knowledgeable sources, and then do everything you need to do in order to reach that goal, you may be surprised by the results.  Without setting expectations you are less likely to be disappointed, and that is a positive outcome we would all hope for!

Consider Jane, a 28 year old, single woman. As her New Year’s resolution in 2009, Jane decided to “find a husband”. She started by joining local clubs and a number of online dating services. Her spirits were high as she started dating but she soon found herself experiencing one disappointment after another. A friend pointed out that each time she went out with a guy, her expectations were that this guy would be “the one”, that he would turn out to be perfect for her and that in no time they would be living happily ever after. Instead of enjoying the opportunity to meet new people, practice her social skills, develop connections and just have fun, she became depressed due to unmet expectations.  What a waste!

To approach this same situation with no expectations could mean that Jane is pleasantly surprised by the various men she meets, and possibly even discovers the man of her dreams. At the worst she walks away from her dates without finding love but feeling that she has maintained her dignity, self-confidence, and optimism for the future.

If you have tried many different ways to change your life with no apparent success, be assured that there is always another way.  In fact, methods that have failed for you before, may very well work for you in the future at a different stage of life so don’t give up. Keeping an open mind to possible pathways for success will mean surprise results where you least expect them.

Remember this; negativity is a slide into the pit of failure. Positivity is the ladder to reach the stars. With a positive attitude, an open mind, and no expectations of what you think the result should be, there is room for infinite triumphs!

This year, find a new way to make that change!

Melissa Millar is a dynamic group exercise instructor and personal trainer who has been actively involved in the fitness industry for over 13 years. Melissa is thrilled to be able to offer unique, effective, and inspiring fitness programs to her home community through her company Motiva Wellbeing & Fitness.

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