“Triple Grande Non-Fat Caramel Macchiato please”
That’s on a good day. On a bad day: “Make it a quad.”
I wake up in the morning and pick out a k-cup. I have my mug with me throughout the day either nuking or refilling as needed. And sometimes, I even pour myself a cup of coffee or tea mere hours before bed.
A few nights ago, Dan got on my case about this.
“You have too much caffeine and you have it too late at night. This is why you stay up so late.”
Of course, an argument erupted. Because he just doesn’t understand, does he?
I don’t stay up late because I have excessive energy. I stay up late because it is the only chance I have during the day to get me-stuff done. From the moment I wake up in the morning until 8pm when I have managed to get the baby to sleep and have sung a lullaby to the toddler, I am doing everyone else’s stuff. I am cleaning up after everyone, feeding everyone, and getting everyone to sleep. Each time I pick up a rogue sock or fill another sippy cup, I am doing work for my family.
It is good work. It is rewarding work. But it isn’t everything that I want to do.
So, when the day comes to an end and I realize that I only have three and a half hours before the baby wakes up again, I look around and my head explodes because of all the things I wanted to do that haven’t yet been done. No matter how tired I am, I stay up so that I might feel slightly productive.
But that doesn’t mean I’m not tired. I am up at least three times a night. Some nights I spend hours sitting up with a baby in my arms. Other nights, that baby is sleeping so close to me that I can barely fit on my bed. And then I wake up and spend a day with these two awesome bundles of energy and noise.
This motherhood gig? It is exhausting.
So, I drink coffee. And tea. And fancy espresso drinks with lots of sugar in them. And I drink them all day to keep me going. One after the other after the other.
Sure, they help me stay awake. They make it possible for me to write a few extra words on a blog post or find that extra 10 minutes to load the dishwasher. Caffeine is one of my secret weapons to help me reach my goal of surviving each day.
But it doesn’t keep me awake.
I know this because the moment I put my head on the pillow (and turn off my phone), I am out like a light, regardless of the amount of caffeine I have had during the day.
Dear husband. I love you, but you don’t get it. If you did, you’d be delivering a quad grande nonfat caramel macchiato to me daily.
Do you consume caffeine throughout your day? How does it affect you? What other secret weapons do you use to survive your day?
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