If Everyone Jumped off of a Bridge: Jumpsuit Edition

L-A: I’m going to go out on a limb here and declare my outright distaste for the jumpsuit, the playsuit, the romper, the whatever-you-want-to-call-it-one-piece. I won’t declare it an outright fashion faux pas, as there are some notable exceptions. Actually, forget that. I’m going to put my foot down and say that unless you happen to be one of the five lucky girls who have found and fit into one of these exceptions, just ignore this fashion trend.  You will probably thank me when you aren’t stuffing the jumpsuit you wore once into the Salvation Army clothing bin at the end of the summer. And let’s not forget the inconvenience of having to haul ass to the ladies in one of these suits. No one can deny they’re a pain to wear when you have to pee. Even Lo of The Hills has twittered so much.

Let’s start with an almost exception. Here’s Whitney Port in DVF:

whitneyport_dvf

It’s okay. It has a waist and no harem pants. But the thing is, it doesn’t go beyond “just okay” or “doesn’t look too stupid”. And when you’re a celebrity with a stylist or are a sort of celebrity who wants to be a stylist, then “doesn’t look too stupid” doesn’t cut it. And this is what really sticks in my craw: stylish people are going bananas for the jumpsuit (okay maybe not bananas per se, but they are encouraging it). Blogs, magazines, and generally stylish folk on the internets have been talking about the jumpsuit trend since late 2008.  And keeping us all abuzz about the jumpsuit only encourages crimes of fashion like this:

rihanna_jumpsuit

Or this:

redcarpetjumpsuits

Check out those four otherwise attractive women. Not one of them dressed in anything that might flatter them. If I were to come across Rhianna and Angie Harmon into a “who wore it better” contest featuring that floral jumpsuit, I would have to choose “neither”.

And the worst of it?

lilo

Harem pants. Harem pants!  Who on God’s green earth approved the return on harem pants?  I’ve recently read that MC Hammer is feeling like the style trendsetter now that these monstrosities are back en vogue and the idea of anyone taking style tips from Hammer sends chills down my spine.

The worst culprit of all? The look that just tells you that no amount of money, fame, or scary space religions can buy you good taste is this one:

katie-holmes-white-jumpsuit-all-my-sons-premiere

Apparently, it is of her own design. That’s a white, strapless, harem legged jumpsuit over a lace blouse.  Excellent job Katie. Now I know she’s gone Cruise-crazy with the Stockholm syndrome.

Okay Ally, what are your thoughts on the jumpsuit? Yay or nay? I ran the idea by my every-so-stylish girl J.Lau and her reply was “Those jumpsuits? No. No. Definitely not”.  So I’m know I’m not completely crazy.

AllyG: I apologize in advance for my short comments (although this might be a welcome change for readers) as I am running off to meet L-A for coffee.

I’m going to be honest. I like the word “romper” although my friend Melissa made a good point the other day stating that the last time she heard the word “romper” she was eagerly awaiting the lady to say her name through the magic mirror.  ”Romper” it’s such a delicious word!

I like the short romper. Do you know who does a romper well? Nicole Ritchie? Although if this is a picture taken of her while she is pregnant I will jump out my window.

nicole

Blake Lively ain’t so bad herself. Did you know that nude shoes make your legs longer? True story! Now mind you, these are two examples of the “Romper short” vs. the “Romper pantsuit” which reminds me of Dallas (I’ll spare you another video).

I also enjoy Katy Perry in a romper:

katyperry-twotimes

Although I enjoy Katy Perry in anything. She is gorgeous and I think we would be total best friends.

To summarize: Hate the full body romper, love the short romper, but would never wear it myself. No one wants to see that. No one.

And for Melissa:

maple-leaf-small

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