L-A: How do you close out two weeks of largely implausible, yet totally awesome Listmas wishes? With the wishes of Intern Krista. This is a woman who has a spreadsheet of how to spend lottery winnings, so you know she’s the sort of lady who has the kind of wish lists only Santa and/or Oprah can fulfill.
Intern Krista: ‘Tis the season for merriment and joy, eating everything in sight, and getting together with friends and family to remember why you only do this once a year. My holiday is extra-special this year after acquiring a cold that has been working its way through the office. I should be finishing my Christmas shopping, but instead, I’m in a ginger ale and pseudoephedrine haze, Googling pictures of animals wearing Santa hats. But that doesn’t mean a girl can’t dream, am I right?
Dear Santa, if you’re reading this blog, please note that I’ve done the best with what I’ve been given this year. Kindly consider fulfilling my humble list of wishes.
Yours in gluttonous cookie worship,
1. I love local.
Over the past year, I’ve made an effort to become even more vocal about it, and put my money behind it, too. Here’s the truth: every place everywhere has big box stores and shopping mall staples, but it’s small, independent businesses that make our towns and cities strong and unique. Climbing down off of my soapbox, I’ll ask you to please think about supporting some of our great local enterprises before you head to the power centres or malls in our fair regional municipality:
– Wildflower Clothing 5553 Clyde St, Halifax (just off Spring Garden and Dresden Row)
– Biscuit General Store 1661 Argyle St, Halifax
– Love, Me 1539 Birmingham St, Halifax
– Inkwell Boutique and Letterpress Studio 1658 Market St, Halifax
– The Uncommon family of stores: Rumrunners, Sugah!, Carbonstok, Uncommon Kids, Uncommon Grounds: all over Halifax.
And now, the “comedy!”
2. World peace.
As I frequently say, “I may be a b—-, but I’m not an a——.” As long as world peace is a primary aspiration, the rest of this list can be absolutely doodlenuts. Banjo legend Steve Martin captured this sentiment best in his NSFWish “Holiday Wish” video.
3. A small herd of alpacas.
I have very romantic notions about retiring to a farm in the Annapolis Valley to tend to my herd of alpacas. They require very little space and are merry little creatures. Browse this list of alpaca facts to see why you’re the crazy person for not wanting to join me on Alpaca Acres, Kings County’s finest imaginary alpaca farm experience.
4. Boots that fit around my indelicate calves.
Searching for extra-wide calf boots on the internet is incredibly depressing, so I would like some custom-made boots. Style: badass. Price: no object.
[editors note! We’ve been told there’s a place where one can possibly find boots for the lady with the larger calves!]
5. The following Round-the-World Star Alliance plane ticket:
Toronto -> Paris, France -> Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania -> Johannesburg, South Africa -> Bangkok, Thailand -> Christchurch, New Zealand -> Rarotonga, Cook Islands -> Santiago, Chile -> San Jose, Costa Rica -> New York, NY -> Toronto. Estimated price CAD$ 9,290. Thanks, Santa Sugar Daddy!
6. From the Neiman Marcus catalogue of “Why the Global Economy is Disintegrating Around Us,”
I must have this I Dream of Jeannie-inspired “Dream Folly” yurt. A yurt made to look like the inside of Jeannie’s bottle? I. Am. So. There.
7. Martini olive spy device.
L-A and I recently discovered our shared love of Cold War-era espionage. One of the most amazing technological advances to come out of this time was a bugging device that looks like a martini olive. (Read the story). There are no options, this has to become the iconic technology of the era. It has everything, infinite possibility plus James Bond-style sexiness. In fairness to the technology of the day, you would definitely have had to stir your martinis, as shaking them would likely mess up the whole works. I need this in my life.
8. Since this is a fashion and style blog, I had better demonstrate my bona fides.
Please bring me this boss Ouija planchette necklace from Montreal’s Missy Industry. Her Etsy store is very dangerous for me, but it’s also awesome. I’ve ordered from her and gotten it within three days. The best.
9. Finally, I’d like my health back.
Being sick over the holidays is a massive bummer. The drugs keep it interesting, but the rest is a bummer.
*This is a Breaking Bad joke. In my gooned-up state, it is hilarious.
L-A: I am 100% with her on the need for a martini bug and wide calfed boots. I’m also 100% with her on her choice of video for the Christmas pop video countdown:
Christmas, my friends, is not the time for inspired choices in music. If it was, you wouldn’t be listening to the same songs every year. So while everybody loves that song, I’m a-okay with it.
Anyway, we hope you’ve enjoyed Listmas. I know Ally has. But that’s because she’s been trying to meet some serious deadlines and work through the pain of TMJ (and if you’ve never had that pain – trust, it is bad news bears).
We’re going to take a break for a few days. I’m off to Ontario to visit The Husband’s family and see some friends and squeeze in some shopping time. Ally is going to be busy with a toddler who understands Santa and knows the lyrics to 50 Cent (it’s adorable). But we’ll be back just before the new year with some kind of Best Of List…because Listmas doesn’t end until after the new year starts.